Customer Reviews

Nothing: Something to Believe in

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(5)

 

 

I picked this up on a whim one night, started reading it when I got home, and I just couldn't put it down! So many of Nica's experiences seemed like my own, and I even cried at parts. This memoir shows what it's like to be a "nothing" in America. And more importantly, it shows that we're really not all that different from everybody else. I highly recommend this, no matter if you're a "nothing" or a "something." This memoir has something everyone can relate to-- the struggle everyone goes through in life to find oneself, to define one's own beliefs.

With all of the hype around books such as The God Delusion and Letter to a Christian Nation, I am sure that many people feel surrounded by the supposed "New Atheism" (a misnomer; the term only exists since we all got a bit louder). While the other two review the scientific and social reasons for atheism and religion, this book instead is a personal account of nonbelief and will leave readers of all religions feeling that they have made a new connection with nonbelievers. While the other books out today dwell on the differences between nonbelievers and believers, this book shows how similar we all are, how many experiences we share, and the reasons nonbelievers feel uncomfortable with many aspects of society. Not to mention this is an excellent read, I couldn't put it down! I would recommend this book to anyone, especially people who feel like they "don't get" nonbelievers, including those who answered in recent polls that they would not vote for an atheist or allow a child to marry one.

The great thing about the book is that its about an average person working through one of life's challenges - who am I and what do I believe. Lalli's telling of her journey is entertaining, witty, humourous, which makes the book highly enjoyable. I find it hard to believe that anyone wouldn't be able to find something in the book to indentify with and be inspired by.

On a related note - in response to Maria's review below of "disappointing" - Isn't the whole point that it's OK to be who you are without proselytizing to others? The way I read it, in the end she resolved the conflict she had with herself, so the characters were there to help her come to terms with who she really was.

As an atheist I read this book not to reinforce my own non-belief but for the possibility of discovering a different path to atheism. I got more than I bargained for. As a kid I was raised as a Mormon until I was 13 and simply refused to continue going to church. I still believed in god at the time but I just couldn't shake the bad taste I had in my mouth for Mormonism. It was probably another 7 years or so until I became a full blown atheist. I followed this path through the study of science and the increasing sense of its absolute superiority in its illumination of truth over religion.

Nica Lalli follows a different path. She is told from a very early age that her parents are "nothing". This will shape her life in ways that she will not realize until many years later. She has the advantage from the very beginning of not being poisoned with a mindset that says that it is ok to believe things without any evidence whatsoever.

The book essentially tells the story of her coming to terms and being comfortable with the fact that she is nothing. She has to survive in a world in which atheism is more despised and less trusted than anything else. She tells many interesting stories regarding her trials and tribulations in this religious world. The most interesting are those involving her in-laws who are extremely Christian. They are very intolerant towards her and will not return the favor of her tolerance towards their beliefs. Kind of un-Jesus like.

If there is any criticism I have for this book is that it really isn't a good argument for atheism. Anybody that goes to this book that is questioning god's existence will probably not be swayed. One could easily say that Nica's atheism is another form of dogma. She seems to only believe the way that she does because it is all that she has ever known. She did not come to her conclusions through reason. At least it seems. Nevertheless, it is good to know that there is one more non-believer in the world.

This book is different than most of the atheist books on the market today, because it includes no arguments against religion or the existence of god. It has no arguments at all, except for those that Nica had with her family members in the past. This book is the story of Nica's personal journey from being uncomfortable as the only child in her school who was "nothing" to her coming to terms with the fact that she really does have many things to believe in, but none of them have anything to do with god or religion.

The book is well written, funny, touching, and always interesting. Nica is open and honest about the twists and turns in her own spiritual adventures and search for meaning outside of the religious American mainstream. Sometimes a personal story does more to get to the heart of an issue than pages and pages of logical argument and polemics. I think Nothing should be required reading for both believers and unbelievers because it shows that we actually have more in common than is often acknowledged.

I found this book in the Hillsdale Library in upstate New York and picked it because the argument you make is so much like the one I make myself. Found especially the early childhood experiences very appealing - how a child looks at the world it encounters. I enjoyed the book very much. What I usually say is: it is just as wrong to insist that there is a god as that there is no god - because we really don't know! One thing I believe in is the inherent worth and dignity of every human being.

Author of "Reflections at Sundown - Remembering what really mattered"

While I agree with many of the other reviewers of this book that Nica Lalli's details and anecdotes about her life, her family, her schooling, her marriage, etc, can be tedious and sometimes boring, I applaud her for writing a book that tackles the atheism vs. religion debate from a personal perspective. Lalli's book is not about "making the case" against religion from a scientific standpoint as so many other authors have done. If you are looking for that type of book, try David Mills, Richard Dawkins, or Sam Harris. Lalli's book is more about the struggles of growing up as an atheist (or in her words, a person who believes in nothing) in a religious world and feeling out of place and many times downright wrong. Lalli refuses to define her beliefs in negative terms. It is not that she DOESN'T believe in god, it is that she DOES believe in nothing. Her book is really a memoir, and when read in that context, the stories and anecdotes don't seem so out of place and many of them are very humorous (she could, however, benefit from staying a little more focused on her subject as she gets rather long-winded at times). All in all, her book is a refreshing take on this issue and it was particularly interesting to me to read about a person who has always been an atheist and was raised by atheist parents. Most of the atheists that I am aware of (including myself) have all come into atheism after "de-converting" from whatever religion they were raised under. Nica Lalli did not have this experience. She was never indoctrinated with religion as a child, so religious ceremonies, holidays, iconography, rituals, and sayings seem completely bizarre to her. Her perspectives on these topics are both humorous and thought-provoking.

I was looking for a book to help me understand some of the things my son has been experiencing growing up in our non-religious household when all of his friends' families practice religions of one sort or another (I was raised as a somewhat conservative Mormon, so non-religious parenting is new for me). I found his book incredibly helpful and very fun to read! I would highly recommend it!

Judging by some reviews, you almost feel the reviewers would like Nica Lalli to apologize for not having a more interesting action-packed life. Sorry but this is just a pretty normal woman who had a pretty normal childhood except for the fact that her parents were non-religious. That's one of the endearing qualities of the memoir. She seems so normal that you feel you already know her. Chances are you did know someone just like her.

I say non-religious because I don't think you can necessarily say that they were atheists. When Nica was a little girl and asked her parents what they were (she had noticed that all her friends were of one denomination or another), they simply said "nothing" because they didn't feel they fell into any group. They could have said "well honey, we're atheists because we don't believe in God," but they didn't. And nowhere does she relay any birds and the bees talk from her parents on how God doesn't exist. They may simply have been agnostic. Surprisingly, we don't have enough information to know for sure.

While "nothing" is a good title for the memoir, it does seem that the second half of the title "something to believe in" is perhaps a little misleading considering that this is not anything close to a treatise on atheism. And it does seem that a few people were expecting something more down that road.

If the situation with the born-again in-laws was the one of two confrontations worth mentioning, then that itself is surprising, and again makes you lean more toward the agnostic label. Growing up as a somewhat practicing Catholic, I had more run-ins with die-hard believers than Nica seems to have had. It would be my guess that a family of outspoken atheists would have sparked a few more in-depth discussions on the hereafter than what we have here.

Since Nica is roughly the same age as me, I could relate to many of her childhood memories growing up, and probably helped make it an enjoyable read. It's a fast and easy read with a few humorous moments, but a little light on insights. Perhaps I'm missing the point, but I can't help wishing that there was a little more something to this "nothing".

Ken Kesey was quoted as saying, "To hell with facts, we need more stories!" He is probably completely correct, and for that reason we should welcome and encourage more atheist literature, including not only biographies but novels and short stories, as well as music, art, and so on.

Lalli's contribution is conventional atheist fare--a "deconversion" story, or a story of a life without religion. Such stories are clearly worthwhile, although we have seen lots of them, and Lalli has little to say that it particularly new or insightful. Much of the book is really not about religion at all but about the mundane trivia of her life, which I suppose needs to be told is a life-story is to be told, but frankly it is not all that interesting or important.

It is interesting when she talks about her own struggles with the religious environment and especially with her family and in-laws. The message here, which needs to be emphasized, is that we are swimming in a sea of someone else' religion, and THAT is the real challenge for atheists. Religion is so pervasive, and so taken-for-granted, that our "arguments" are feeble as long as our culture and world is dominated and colonized by religion. The most moving parts of the book are when she is confronting her in-laws who are absolutely sure that their religion is true--and that no one who disagrees with them is worthy of respect. Pages 200 and 201 should be required reading for all theists and atheists.

However--and this is a big however--I am stridently opposed to the theme of her book. As an atheist, I am not "nothing," and even to accept and to promote such language is foolish and self-destructive. I am many things: a man, a teacher, a son, a husband, an American, a pet-lover, and more. Lacking religion does not make a person "nothing," and it is horrible to think that it does. Nor do I "believe in nothing." That is silly talk. That is like saying that a single person is "married to no one," as if "no one" is a person. The proof of that absurdity is easy to demonstrate: if you are single, try listing "no one" as your spouse on your tax return and claiming an exemption. The IRS will remind you right away that "no one" is not a person but the ABSENCE of a person. Atheism, likewise, is not "believing in nothing" but the ABSENCE of religious belief. To assert otherwise is to let theists define us. Rather, THEY believe in nothing, since they literally believe in something that does not exist, that is nothing.

I will never call myself "nothing," nor encourage anyone else to call me or themselves that. It is nihilist and self-deprecating. One's something-ness and value does not come from one's religion, and we need to shout this from the rooftops. Atheists are somebody too, and we do not have to look for some "belief" to make us somebody. We must not let theists control the discussion, and we certainly must not "speak Christian" ourselves.

While I wish Lalli well, and welcome her to the community of atheists, I am surprised and disappointed that Prometheus chose to publish this book in its current form. It is not up to the standards of Prometheus and promotes confusion and self-disparagement among atheists.