Customer Reviews

Nursing Homes: The Family's Journey

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4 star:		(1)
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I read this book to get some answers about the procedures to follow for added care for my 91 year old mother who is still in her own apartment but is failing. This book not only gave me a step by step direction what to look for and the options to consider but also gave examples of what others were able to do.

This book was most helpful and also gave insights about what to expect as the next stages of assistance unfold. I would recommend it to anyone else who is facing a similar situation.

I have been working in the field of elder care for most of my adult life. I also have aging parents, and confront this issue in my personal life. Silin's new book is compassionate and senstive, and offers a complete view of the nursing home process.

It is unique in that it offers much pragmatic information, but also helps the reader confront emotional issues. One way this is achieved is by the use of vignettes written by caregivers. These stories allow the reader to read other family member's perspective, which gives added insight to the nursing home industry.

Silin also writes at length about such emotionally charged issues as abuse, guilt, loss and grief. He doesn't just raise these issues, but gives guidance and advice. This certainly will help people to deal with these painful issues.

Although he is honest and direct, he never under estimates the value of good and caring people who work in nursing homes.

After reading this book book, you will have a much more complete understanding of the problems both of nursing homes, of the people who live in them, and of their family and friends.

"Your book is a treasure. I wish I had read it 5 years ago. It definitely would have made my journey easier!
Appendix 2, Accessing care in Canada, and Appendix 4, the Questionnaire for viewing Nursing Homes, are invaluable. It took me months to figure those facts out for myself ... particularly the route to accessing care facilities, and the awareness that with costs based on income, they can be affordable to anyone. Most people assume that costs are prohibitive except for the wealthy, and for that reason they do not consider "care" an option for themselves. How can we make people aware of the many excellent, affordable facilities around? Public awareness, especially of Intermediate Care facilities, is important as so many seniors struggle independently, endangering their health and safety, unaware that Intermediate Care would indeed be not only suitable but also affordable for them. A number of doctors, to my knowledge, are even unaware of how the system works!
Chapter 17, Difficult decisions, you presented very factually yet
compassionately. It is so important to talk about the death of a loved one both before and after the event. Fear can be reduced and grief can be acknowledged. The care histories are so relevant. Hearing about others' anger, guilt and need for balance in personal life "hits home" with anyone who has had to put a loved one in care."

This was an excellent review of the options the elderly and their families face when deciding where an elderly parent should live. Safety, financial, emotional, practical, and realistic issues are all addressed. Understaffing, underpaid, labor-intensive work in nursing home settings are all addressed in this book. It is a must read for anyone facing this challenging issue, which was, is, or will be all of us.

As a son living thousands of miles from an aging mother with dementia, and having sister's burned out by the day to day caregiving, this insightful book let me see the big picture, how to provide my mother with a safe, caring and nurturing environment.
This read was like I was attending group therapy sessions for individuals wrought with feelings of anxiety, guilt, fear and helplessness while dealing with the ongoing care of an aging parent.
I saw myself, my family and mother in so many of the case studies and passages brought forth in this book. I began to understand what needed to be done without letting raw emotion get in the way.
Although this was a most difficult decision my family had to make , I found this book an invaluable resource when it came time to make that decision.
Mom is now happily living in a retirement centre, but missing her beloved home. Knowing that she is in a safe environment surrounded by professionals taking care of her needs, I can sleep at night.
I encourage all to read this book.

This is the book I wish I'd had when my grandparents died. This is the book I wish I'd had when my father died shortly thereafter. His clean exposition enables a reader to negotiate the bureaucratic maze that has evolved over time. Yet the book is more than practical. Mr. Silin splices personal histories into the book. These stories are beautifully written and serve to breathe life, with all its vicissitudes, into his account. Mr.Silin's chapters about the guilt we feel when a loved one cannot care for themselves yet wishes to remain independent. He describes the feelings with such precision, it was as if he gave me absolution. But what is ultimately so striking about the book is that he treats the reader like an adult. Mr. Silin lives and practices in Canada, yet as one who has spent much time in Canada, it seems that this book is needed more here in the United States. Why? Do you remember the health care debate? Do you remember the hysteria about "death panels?" I, myself, live with a terminal illness and, by so doing, have become sensitized to a culture that does not grasp the fact that dying and death are natural parts of the life cycle. As for grief? It's a process, not something to get through as quickly as possible, but rather a process that takes its own time and through our suffering, as Aesvchylus put it, we acquire wisdom. Not long ago, a preternaturally wise and compassionate hospice volunteer was driving me home from a medical appointment. This young man is a jesuit volunteer who works with the dying eight hours a day. I was reflecting upon the many interactions I'd had with doctors, nurses, and many other medical staff members. Some interactions were amazingly good. I saw the best in the human heart. And some were not so good to put it mildly.I came out of my memories and said tom this young man who works with the dying every day that here in America we have an immature attitude toward death, don't we? And the young Jesuit volunteer, who is usually very quiet, could not have agreed with more fervor. Mr. Silin writes with a quiet courage by addressing this natural part of the life cycle without resorting to euphamisms; witout treating the reader like a child. If you have a loved one whose health is failing or whose losing his or her faulties,I cannot recommend this book highly enough.