Here is another exceptional resource from Deborah Gray. Nurturing Adoptions is the professional companion and extension to her first book, Attaching in Adoption. It is difficult to find a therapist who has understanding of trauma, trauma, abuse or adoption issues, and understands ways to provide helpful therapy. This is a goldmine of information for the adoption world, for parents and professionals.
Nurturing Adoptions is a guide for social workers and psychologists who provide therapy for adopted children and teens suffering from neglect or abuse. This book is a wonderful resource for parents adopting children through the US social services system, from Eastern Europe and older children from other countries. The trauma caused by long years in orphanages, neglect by parents, frequent transitions, and even abuse are well documented in this book. Dr. Gray delves into the myriad ways that children can be affected by adverse circumstances biological, psychological, behavioral, and even moral. She teaches ways to find the child s point of view, and key points of stress, and to help reframe their awareness and behavior into a more positive and adaptive structure, ultimately leading to more balanced and fruitful lives. Dr. Gray s advice is always practical and well researched, but also sympathetic. This is an excellent resource for anyone interested in attachment and older child adoption.
Alison Martin --Comunity.com
Since its publication in 2002, Attaching in Adoption has become a cornerstone of adoption literature. Now Deborah Gray follows up with Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience After Neglect and Trauma. A theoretical, yet practical, guide, Nurturing Adoptions is a vital resource for clinicians, adoption professionals, and parents alike.
Drawing on studies conducted by leading neuroscientists, as well as her own therapeutic cases, Gray deftly describes how untreated traumatic stress in infants and children can affect emotional regulation, social responses, memory, attention, and concentration. Gray also hopes that Nurturing Adoptions will serve as a call to action. A generation ago, the majority of adoptions were of newborns. But increasingly, older infants and children are adopted from domestic foster and international placements, and few parents are given much information about neglect or infant trauma, or about the risks of not addressing them, leading to, in Gray s opinion, a growing public health disaster.
But one that s not without a solution. Gray beautifully explains the role of attachment in developing internal systems for coping with stress. Using vignettes from case studies, Gray illustrates the roles of parents and therapists in healing hurt children. Destined to become another classic in adoption literature, Nurturing Adoptions is an important, sobering, and, ultimately, hopeful treatise on the impact of early trauma, and the transformative power of therapy and mindful parenting.
Reviewed by Heidi Holman, an adoptive mom who s researched and written about the effects of trauma and sensory deprivation --August 2007 issue of Adoptive Families magazine
Someone is finally speaking up about the potential damage of moving a child including an infant too abruptly. In her new book, Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience after Neglect and Trauma, Deborah Gray writes, There is evidence that moving infants abruptly causes a massive disequilibrium in neuroendocrine regulation, with potential for long-term effects. (Dozier, 2006.) For some infants, the effects are immediately apparent, with obvious expressions of grief. Other children seem to transition smoothly by outward appearance. Having witnessed an almost flawless adjustment in my own child, looking back I now believe what I saw was shock. Not surprisingly, it is not possible for children who are in sh --a4everfamily.org
Since its publication in 2002, Attaching in Adoption has become a cornerstone of adoption literature. Now Deborah Gray follows up with Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience After Neglect and Trauma. A theoretical, yet practical, guide, Nurturing Adoptions is a vital resource for clinicians, adoption professionals, and parents alike.
Drawing on studies conducted by leading neuroscientists, as well as her own therapeutic cases, Gray deftly describes how untreated traumatic stress in infants and children can affect emotional regulation, social responses, memory, attention, and concentration. Gray also hopes that Nurturing Adoptions will serve as a call to action. A generation ago, the majority of adoptions were of newborns. But increasingly, older infants and children are adopted from domestic foster and international placements, and few parents are given much information about neglect or infant trauma, or about the risks of not addressing them, leading to, in Gray s opinion, a growing public health disaster.
But one that s not without a solution. Gray beautifully explains the role of attachment in developing internal systems for coping with stress. Using vignettes from case studies, Gray illustrates the roles of parents and therapists in healing hurt children. Destined to become another classic in adoption literature, Nurturing Adoptions is an important, sobering, and, ultimately, hopeful treatise on the impact of early trauma, and the transformative power of therapy and mindful parenting.
Reviewed by Heidi Holman, an adoptive mom who s researched and written about the effects of trauma and sensory deprivation --August 2007 issue of Adoptive Families magazine
Someone is finally speaking up about the potential damage of moving a child including an infant too abruptly. In her new book, Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience after Neglect and Trauma, Deborah Gray writes, There is evidence that moving infants abruptly causes a massive disequilibrium in neuroendocrine regulation, with potential for long-term effects. (Dozier, 2006.) For some infants, the effects are immediately apparent, with obvious expressions of grief. Other children seem to transition smoothly by outward appearance. Having witnessed an almost flawless adjustment in my own child, looking back I now believe what I saw was shock. Not surprisingly, it is not possible for children who are in shock and denial to form a smooth attachment to a new psychological parent, or attachment figure.
Gray reports on a 2006 study out of Harvard University showing that over half of the children in foster care leave with an anxiety disorder. They have twice the rate of traumatic stress as compared to Vietnam veterans. Since in therapy, children reference sudden moves as among their most difficult problems when working through grief and shock, one naturally comes to the conclusion that in order to reduce the impact of adoption trauma, one must find a way to transition children less abruptly. Gray explains, Moves that are done abruptly, and especially those that include trauma, lead to pathological or complicated grief, a grief in which there is no completion and children continually mourn, [remaining] highly reactive to reminders of their loss.
Nurturing Adoptions includes an entire section dedicated to best practices in moving children with as little damage as possible. Because there are specific damages to the emerging personality when children lose their homes and attachment figures, we recommend that every adoptive parent and professional especially the social workers who are actually involved in decision making read Gray s book, taking particular note of the recommended moving schedule for children. For infants 1-4 months, Gray suggests a transition time of six days, outlining what the role of the adoption parent and the foster parent should be on each day. Infants 5-10 months should be transitioned over ten days.
Infants 11-24 months need ten to fourteen days to create a safe transition. Notably, children moved too abruptly at this stage can get locked into [the] protest No stage; or they may feel reluctant to attach again. Gray only briefly touches on something of immense consequence to many families adopting internationally, where children are leaving their foster families between the ages of nine and fifteen months. Typically, the social worker should try not to move children who are in a six-month window of attachment, which is an exclusive stage between about nine and fifteen months of age, â ¦assuming that the baby is in a safe, nurturing, and securely attached relationship with the caregiver. (Our bold.) She goes on to explain that in order to determine whether the baby is in that exclusive window, social workers can note whether the baby usually cries or fusses when the caregiver walks out of the room or has progressed to the stage in which he knows that the caregiver will come back. The potential damage from moving a child between the ages of nine and fifteen months is something that every adoptive professional and parent needs to be aware of.
Preschoolers, age 24 months to 5 years, should optimally experience fourteen to twenty-one days in transition. Gray goes on to talk about older children, details of which can be found in the book. For each age level, birth & up, she outlines precisely what parents and foster families need to do on each day of the transitional period. She points out that a less abrupt transitio --a4everfamily.org
--This text refers to the
Paperback
edition.
Advance Praise for Nurturing Adoptions
Deborah Gray, once again, addresses the primary issues that parents and professionals confront when they become involved with hurt children. She has something for just about everyone in the adoption world! Her detailed examination of many cogent issues will help anyone whose life is touched by children and adolescents who have lost so much prior to their adoptions and yet have so much to gain in their new families. Reading Gray's work will leave no stone unturned.
Gregory C. Keck ,Ph.D.
Founder/Director of The Attachment and Bonding Center
of Ohio
Co-author of Adopting the Hurt Child and Parenting the Hurt Child
Ohio
Deborah Gray thinks like a child, both imaginatively and yet very concretely. That's why Nurturing Adoptions is filled with creative ideas and practical suggestions that bring a fresh approach for traumatized children learning to love and trust in an adoptive family. I started to mark the pages of Nurturing Adoptions that contained especially useful ideas and soon found myself in a blizzard of bookmarks. Too much good stuff!
Mary Ann Curran, M.A.,
Director of Social Services at
World Association for Children and Parents (WACAP)
Washington state
People sometimes do not understand that attachment work has many facets. Deborah Gray's Nurturing Adoptions helps parents, therapists, and social workers integrate trauma, loss and grief into attachment work. As always she uses clear language, case vignettes, and is able to take complex issues and break them down for easy understanding. This should help all concerned view attachment as a process not an event which ,depending on the family, has many issues that need to be addressed. Thank you Deborah for this contribution.
Regina M. Kupecky LSW
co-author with Gregory C. Keck PhD Adopting the Hurt Child and Parenting the Hurt Child, author of curriculum My Brother My Sister: Sibling Relations in Adoption and Foster Care co-oauthor with Arleta James and Gregory C. Keck of curriculum Abroad and Back: Parenting and International Adoption
In Nurturing Adoptions, Deborah Gray delivers an exceptional depiction of the emotional, developmental and neurological impacts of early childhood trauma and neglect. Additionally, she highlights critical areas of assessment that social workers must consider when home studying families prior to placing children who have experienced abuse or neglect. In a field laden with a variety of controversial and coercive methods of working with children demonstrating symptoms of reactive attachment disorder, it is refreshing to see that Deborah not only discourages the early and over diagnosis of RAD, but provides lots of strategies for assessing and working with children and families that are evidence based and sensitive to the developmental needs of children. My hope is that this book will be read by all social workers and therapists working with foster and adoptive families. We will be making it required reading for our social work staff. Thank you, Deborah, for such a valuable contribution to this field.
Karen Alvord, LCSW
Executive Director of Lilliput Children's Services
California
At last there is a "how to" book for professionals working with children with the scars of abuse and neglect. Deborah Gray lays out the foundations of research in this field, explaining how and why children respond to stresses of their early lives. From these foundations she helps professionals and families to create a milieu that will build self-esteem, address trauma and grief, and work towards resiliency. Therapists with little experience in this field may not recognize the many issues that are impacting the child's behavior. Often I find that these mental health professionals are at a loss, incompletely understanding the impact of a child's early trauma on their emotional development. Here, as well, is a toolbox to help both adoption professionals who are new to adoption and those with years of experience. This book will be quoted over and over again to my patients, therapists in my community, and even in my home. I plan to have two copies - one to share with families at work, the other to refer to as a parent as I nurture my own children towards coping with their pasts.
Deborah Borchers, M.D.
Pediatrician specializing in adoption and foster care medicine and Adoptive Mom
Cincinnati, Ohio
Deborah's work in Nurturing Adoptions identifies the importance of considering the biological impact of trauma and neglect in children. She bridges the physiological and psychological effects of traumatic stress that can develop into lifelong emotional or attachment issues. Deborah has the unique ability to give practical context to the challenging outcomes that are reflective of stress, trauma and neglect in children. Her sensitive, insightful writing style draws the reader into her work with ease. Whether you are a parent by birth, adoption or foster care or a professional working with children you will benefit from Deborah's expertise and dedication to families!
Cindy Haftner and Leah Deans
Executive Director andResource Director
Adoption Support Centre of Saskatchewan Inc.
The "required reading in adoption" list just got longer, and shorter. Nurturing Adoptions is several long-awaited books in one: a deft overview of neglect and trauma's effects on children and families, a collection of practical pearls for adoptive parents, a best practices primer for child welfare professionals, and a lovely illustration for child therapists of Deborah Gray's state-of-the-art therapeutic approach.
While I do enjoy traipsing around the Pacific Northwest to Deborah's fantastic trainings, it's so nice to finally have this material collected in book form, especially one so infused with hope, wry wit, empathy for all involved, and hard-earned practical wisdom. Her previous book, Attaching in Adoption, which has been our must-read attachment book for parents and professionals, now has a wonderful new sibling.
Julian Davies, MD
Co-Director of The Center for Adoption Medicine,
University of Washington
This is an essential book for professionals and parents! Deborah Gray reviews and explains valuable, current and applicable research. She then goes much further and clarifies the "whys' and "how's." Why are we seeing children and families in such distress and how do we assist them? Nurturing Adoptions offers skill building in assessment, treating, placing, parenting, teaching and loving traumatized and neglected children.
Parents and professionals will find important information about building the resiliency of children, of families and of professionals. The vignettes used to describe research, techniques and strategies are so thorough and encouraging they can be visualized.
Deborah, what a gift you've given to those of us that are committed to and have claimed hurt children. Thank you for sharing your passion with this optimistic resource. As soon as it available, Nurturing Adoptions will be on my list of "must haves."
Yolanda Comparan, MSW
Owner/Operator
Adoption Referral & Information Service and Mom by Adoption
Washington State
Deborah's book made me sigh with relief. Finally there is a resource that let's us see the big picture. There is risk to focus only on what is diagnosed "on the surface". For example, a child adopted internationally may have RAD or sensory integration disorder. Deborah enlightens us that children are not that simple. She fosters one to stop and think about the child as a whole, how the child was wired in the womb and how the child's world to date has left an enduring impression. She blends the scientific biomedical research with hands-on easy to understand therapeutic approaches to children who have experienced trauma. Both parents and professionals will find this book a blessing.
Julie K. Keck MD
Neurodevelopmental Pediatrician
Director of the International Adoption Clinic at Riley Hospital for Children
Indianapolis, Indiana
Nurturing Adoptions is a "must read" for anyone providing therapeutic services to adoptive families. Debra provides a wealth of information based on current research that enables therapists to help children and their families heal and develop positive relationships.
Patty Jewell, LCSW
Therapeutic Foster Care and Home Run Program Supervisor
Bethany Christian Services, Indianapolis Branch
