Customer Reviews

Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience After Neglect and Trauma

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Deborah D. Gray is the founder of Nurturing Attachments, an organization specializing in treating childhood trauma and loss in ways that are both effective and gentle. I know her both personally and professionally and thoroughly enjoyed her latest book.

Just to clear up some misperceptions, Deborah D Gray has never done "holding therapy" and is not an advocate of this practice. The introduction of her book makes this clear, "Readers familiar with coercive techniques will find them singularly absent from Nurturing Adoptions. The reasons go beyond the widely shared ethical concerns. Coercive techniques are contraindicated due to the effects that neglect and trauma have had on the brains of the children about whom the book was written."

She sometimes gets "trashed" by members of "anti-holding therapy" movement, who have not adequately researched her work. I am against holding therapy, and that is exactly why I love Deborah Gray's books. She exclusively advocates science based approaches and non-coercive methods of treating children.

This new book incorporates a new tool designed to help families and professionals understand how new research on the impact of neglect, abuse, early trauma, and institutionalization on the developing brains of children can guide their practices in new directions. It is an easy read and extremely practical. The only thing I fault about Nurturing Adoptions is the title, it is far too limiting. This is a book about trauma and loss, its value is not limited to adoption issues. It should be read and used by all child welfare advocates.

First of all, I purchased this book from Amazon and was told it would take 4 weeks to receive. But it arrived in just a few days, must be some sort of glitch in the system. According to the publisher, it is available now.

As a special education teacher, I routinely work with children and families that have experienced trauma in their lives. This book is an essential resource for both parents and professionals. What I really like how current research is summarized and translated into easy to understand actions and techniques.

As one of the reviewers said, "This is an essential book for professionals and parents! Deborah Gray reviews and explains valuable, current and applicable research. She then goes much further and clarifies the "whys' and "how's." Why are we seeing children and families in such distress and how do we assist them? Nurturing Adoptions offers skill building in assessment, treating, placing, parenting, teaching and loving traumatized and neglected children."

I really agree with this, you really are able to visualize the next steps after reading this book.

This book is a wonderful resource for those who care about or serve children adopted through the US social services system, from Eastern Europe or older children from other countries. Dr. Gray delves into the myriad ways that children can be affected by adverse circumstances - biological, psychological, behavioral, and even moral. Her advice for social workers and therapists is always practical and well researched, but also sympathetic to all parties. If you are interested in attachment and older child adoption, this is a book you do not want to miss.

Clinical social worker Deborah D. Gray applies her extensive experience counseling adopted children to Nurturing Adoptions: Creating Resilience After Neglect and Trauma, an in-depth examination of both domestic and international adoptions. Written especially to aid professionals working with adoptive families in the twenty-first century, Nurturing Adoptions covers the especial difficulties involved in helping children, from infants to early teens. Chapters discuss the effects of early life neglect and trauma on brain development, how to build attachment, the role of the child welfare or social worker, how to structure careers and practices, and much more. Numerous case studies illuminate this straightforward and accessible resource. "When parents lose sight of normal childhood development, expecting much more than developmental progress allows, there is trouble ahead. The set-up for the child is that the parents will always be disappointed and displeased. The child can never feel like a wanted and accepted child." A "must-have" for social workers, counselors, psychotherapists, and other professionals involved in helping adoptive families adjust.

This book contains lots of heady research but I was able to digest most of what Deborah was saying. It reflects the new wave of hope which is just coming ashore in the field of adoption. I highly recommend it!

Finally, a well respected, prominent professional has used extensive research to address the overuse of the RAD diagnosis and offer alteratives that are evidence based. The title and introduction to the book set the tone, children who have been traumatized must be nurtured rather than coerced. The introduction states this clearly:

"Readers familiar with coercive techniques will find them singularly absent from Nurturing Adoptions. The reasons go beyond the widely shared ethical concerns. Coercive techniques are contraindicated due to the effects that neglect and trauma have had on the brains of the children about whom the book was written."

While Deborah Gray's first book was excellent, this one is even better. It is both comprehensive and easy to read, an essential resource for a child welfare advocates.

While I was given great overviews during foster PRIDE training of potential/probable challenges to anticipate as a foster-adopt parent, nothing has been more valuable to my understanding of behaviors following trauma, neglect, and abuse than this book. Very easy to read (I couldn't put it down on our latest camping trip!), the vignettes are particularly helpful illustrations, and I feel unbelievably better prepared to understand and meet the needs of a child coming from a painful and/or frightening background.

Thank you, Deborah, for sharing your learnings and keen insights with all of us. And thank you to David at Families Like Ours ([...]) for recommending this book to our class! What a gift!

This is an excellent follow up to the authors first book. It describes gentle, practical and effective techniques that both parents and therapists can use to work with children who have experience trauma and loss. It is detailed enough to suit its purpose without resorting to the "jargon" that plagues most books of this nature. It is a fairly easy read and is almost immediately helpful.

Deborah Gray's experience and insight into the mind of a trumatized child is remarkable. And this is not just an adoption book, it is helpful for anyone who knows a child who has experienced trauma or loss. Her methods are gentle and focused on nurture. I highly recommend this book.

The greatest book was Deborah Gray's "Attaching in Adoption" If you are considering adoption, you must read these 2 books.

Deborah Gray is just fantastically helpful. As a grandparent of a grandchild with trauma, this book is informative, encouraging, and helpful in how to deal with the problem issues of adoption. Lots of good ideas in this book about dealing with specific behaviors, and easy to read and understand for the lay person. It has made a difference for our family!