Customer Reviews

ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE

5 star:		(26)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I like the cover art on this paperback as well as the description of it as "Dracula meets the Godfather". I figured it would be good for some cheesy vampire action; you know, one of those books you have to read because it's so laughingly bad. I'm pleased to say I was completely wrong!

The novel begins with Chris Csejthe trying to find a cure for the mysterious disease that started to plague him shortly after the deaths of his wife and daughter. Chris, who narrates the story, then finds himself in the middle of a bizarre life-or-death situation while two powerful vampire "families" (in the mob sense) fight over him. Turns out Chris is in the middle of vampire transformation; neither human nor vampire, Chris begins an adventure of discovering who he is, testing his new powers, and solving the mystery of the tragedy that took the people he loved. Along the way he meets Dr. Mooncloud, Bassarab, Lupe, Suki, Elizabeth, and a whole slew of other-worldly creatures such as elves, goblins, dryads, nagas, knockers, sprites, and many others. All the while, he narrates the events around him with sarcastic humor, literary references and some healthy wariness. Any vampire novel that can weave an enchanting tale of an alternate history such as this while quoting Sappho, Yeats, Victor Hugo, Donne, Wordsworth, Oscar Wilde etc. deserves more recognition! Simmons has created a fascinating world filled with funny, intelligent characters. The dialogue is snappy, the plot is filled with twists and turns, the story is suspenseful, and the book itself is impossible to put down. I am so pleasantly surprised by this novel, and I sincerely hope that Simmons will revisit these characters and give us a sequel! I found this book in the fantasy/sci-fi section, but it easily crosses into horror, humor, drama as well. It has something for everyone: humor, action (you'll find lots of weapons and methods of killing without intense graphic gore), suspense, mystery, fantasy. Buy it, you won't be disappointed.

OK, I am a sucker for good dialog. I love puns. I love snappy comebacks. And this book is loaded with them. That's the good news. The bad news: the plot is thin, hard to follow. A few characters are fully fleshed out (as it were) but many are sketchy, and many are killed off before we get to know them. The motives can be confusing. Count Dracula isn't really Count Dracula, and we don't ever really find out who he is.

Nonetheless, it was so much fun to read. I kept quoting bits of the dialog to my significant other.

Some of BunRab's Standard Vampire Classification: -Series: if it is, it's the first one. -Significant genre it comes from: Fantasy/humor. -Does the vampire hold a job? Well sort of, although he loses it in the course of the book. -Do the vampires drink blood? Yes, though it can be animal instead of human. -Is drinking blood a metaphor for sex? No, although it can occur during sex. -Is there a lot of sex? Nope, and not much detail for what there is. -Are there other supernatural characters? Yup, and a few too many of them, if you ask me. Introducing umpteen different subspecies of elves was an unnecessary complication. -Is it deadly serious (pardon the pun)? Nope, I believe I've addressed that. I mean, we have vampires with library cards picking up girls at the research desk, for pete's sake. -Is it well written? Well, the dialogue is great, the plotting and resolution a little less great. But it's not hard to read, and it's acceptable for fantasy.

Incidentally, I worked for a department store credit department in a large city with lots of ethnic population, so I knew how to pronounce Csejthe right off the bat. The book finally does explain it after a bit.

I love this book. The combination of mystery, thriller, and coming of age (in an extended sense) novel works very well. The characters are interesting, the plot isn't monotonous or predictable, and the whole concept of vampirism as a virus (not totally original) is intreaguing; however, this is definately a Baen book. Like most Baen books, this one is character centered and the character "comes of age" in a sense. The dialogue and first person point of view monologue, also typical of Baen books, is lightly sarcastic, with the sarcasim takes the form of many references to the literary world (other Baen books make well researched references to music groups or historical details). Finally, there isn't too much angst. All in all, its a feel good novel w/ just enough tension for the reader to appreciate the good parts.

What is a Baen book? Baen is the publishing imprint that publishes (or used to publish) most of fantasy by the following authors: Mercedes Lackey, David Weber, Ellen Guon, and Mark Shepperd. In general, I characterize them as older adolescent or adult fun books. They tend to fit in about a PG-13 or light R rating, with just enough sex and violence to be interesting without being overwhelming.

If you like this, I recommend the following vampire books/series: Mercedes Lackey's "Children of the Night," Susan Sizemore's Laws of the Blood Bk. #1 "The Hunt," and Hays & McCalls' "The Cowboy and the Vampire"

So, why the four stars? Well, it just isn't as good as Christopher Golden's The Shadow Saga trilogy or Tanja Huff's Blood Series (both of which lean towards series R ratings or, in the case of Golden's series, towards an NC-17 rating).

This book is one of the great stories to keep in your collection. Especially if you enjoy vampires, werewolves, and fairies. They say never judge a book by its cover, but that's why I first picked it up when it was first published. The main character "Christoper Csejthe" is intelligent, not exactly handsome, but you find him attractive. He's just finding out what he is, or isn't. His wife and daughter were murdered, and he is slowly turning into a vampire. Or maybe not. You see, he never D I E D. His maker says that he is "Dracula", and he never meant for this situation to happen. While trying to learn what he will become, we learn of different kinds of vampires, their religions, and how to get rid of them. Chris learns that he is wanted, dead, or alive. He's running from everyone, and doesn't know who to trust. Along the way, he's gaining some awesome powers. This book has humor, action, and romance. I've been waiting six years for the next one. I take this one out at least once every year and read it again. That Good.

Very little drives me crazier than authors who rely on literary convention, who are self-indulgent in any of the several ways possible for fiction (for example, if the main character is righteous, or if the author uses the book to promote his or her pet ideas, or if it's a historical makes the characters of the past have the sensibilities-- feminism, for example-- of the present). Wm. Mark Simmons does NONE of these things. One Foot belies its somewhat lurid cover art by asking the readers to believe only one thing-- these "supernatural" creatures do exist-- and goes on to tell a story that keeps my interest and never rings false to my internal B.S.-meter (and I read a lot, so it's finely tuned). The once-human "monsters" are still very human in their hearts and minds (which are sometimes monstrous, like those of some humans); their situations have scientific bases. Add to this "keeping-it-realism" a literate quality, thoughtfulness and a significant portion of humor, and you wind up with a work which is at the same time intelligent, funny, and very rereadable, which is my standard of measure for quality fiction. Or to put it another way, most of my paperbacks stay awhile and then get traded in. Not this one. I look forward to its sequel(ae).

Mark Simmons is staking out new ground by combining science fiction and fantasy in the same rousing tale. As he did in his first two books, In the Net of Dreams and When Dreams Collide, Simmons has seamlessly hidden a fantasy (do you really believe in Dracula or the Wolfman)within a science fiction envelope. In One Foot in the Grave, Simmons logically inflicts his protagonist, Christopher L. Csejthe (pronounced chey-tay) with a legitimate medical condition (can you say, vampirism?). When you read the explanation, you have to scratch your head and say, "Yeah, it could happen." Of course, that doesn't begin to describe the myriad of puns, sight gags, and references to popular culture that will make your eyes water and your thigh hurt from slapping it. Simmons is funny! Read this book, and enjoy.

One Foot in the Grave (1996) is the first in a fantasy series. Chrisopher Csejthe lives in Pittsburg, Kansas. The year before, he survived an automobile accident that had killed his wife and daughter. He still suffers from survivor's guilt syndrome, but has also developed an unusual malady that causes him to be light sensitive. Six months ago, increasing sensitivity led him to quit his teaching job at the local college and to take a job as the nightshift DJ at the public radio station.

On the way to work, he stops off at the hospital to learn the results from his latest blood tests. His physician has already ruled out the most obvious disorders and has brought in a specialist, Doctor Taj Mooncloud. They have narrowed down the possibilities to porphyria, the so-called vampire disease.

The outside specialist tries to persuade Chris to come to Seattle for genetic testing and even accompanies him to his workplace. As they are discussing the situation, the lights go out and then the emergency lights also fail. Then someone forces his way into the station.

Escaping out the back door, they pull out of the parking lot as the station goes up in flames behind them. Then someone comes through the passenger side window clutching a crossbow and lands in his lap. Mooncloud introduces the newcomer as an associate, Lupe Garou.

They explain that his malady is really the symptoms of emerging vampirism. Despite the explanation, Chris sneaks off at the first stop. He is crawling through a cornfield when a *big* man, with Dracula-like dentition, grabs him by the throat and lifts him off the ground. Chris later learns that the man in an Enforcer for the New York enclave.

Mooncloud and Lupe handle the Enforcer. They finally convince Chris that he is becoming undead and take him back to their Doman in Seattle. Apparently he is going to be contributing to their research effort. That is, if the Enforcers don't get him first!

Chris is a hardheaded type, with a strong tendency toward anarchism. Despite the growing evidence of real vampires, he strongly resists becoming a member of any vampire enclave. He questions their ethics and doubts their social responsibility.

This novel is very similar to the Anita Blake, Sookie Stackhouse or Rachael Morgan works. But these ladies are heroines of their stories, whereas Chris is just a victim of circumstances. Yet he just won't accept his situation.

This novel mixes mythology and speculative science regarding vampirism in a very convincing manner. However, the Seattle demesne contains faery folk and other mythological creatures in addition to vampires and werewolves. So much for speculative science!

Recommended for anyone who enjoys adventures stories about the undead and other monsters.

-Arthur W. Jordin

I also bought this book because of the new twist, "Dracula Meets the Godfather" (written on the cover). It truly was a pleasurable read. The main character, Chris, is very droll, wry, witty, sometimes sarcastic - everything I like in a lead. For quite a while it's kept a mystery a) what's wrong with him and then b) what happened to start him on the way to becoming a vampire. It's a refreshing twist that he isn't just turned into one and then goes on neck-biting power trip like in other stories I can think of. The theory explaining vampirism that's put forth in the book is also an original twist (you practically want to believe it).

I enjoyed that for most of the book, Chris is weirded out and skeptical of the people around him and of the changes in his body as a real person would be. At the same time, he keeps his sense of humor in a great way. The author keeps everything very rooted in the real world, very modern, with references to horror movies we've all seen, Anne Rice - even my favorite, "Air Dracula" (in reference to a running leap made by one of the vampires who's pivotal in the plot). Very funny stuff.

The only problem was, this refreshing rooted-in-reality aspect was lost toward the end. Suddenly there weren't just vampires and werewolves (that the author established very well by then - you practically expect them to be living next door) but zombies and a long dead creepy dating back to ancient Egypt. It was like the book suddenly took a turn into the campy horror that it was making fun of all along. I thought that was a curious way to end a book that was extremely well-written and refreshing otherwise.

As his physical and mental conditions and emotional needs are deteriorating and other changes occur, Christopher Csejihe believes he suffers from a rare disease. Though he seeks a cure, Chris is more obsessed over learning who killed his wife and child even if that ugly incident seems tied to his current degenerating condition.

However, Chris has other problems as two weird groups of individuals use him as the rope in a deadly tug of war. At the same time, the medical research community wants to turn him into a guinea pig. To survive, Chris must first understand and second accept that he has ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE and one foot in the world of the undead because his disease is actually the stages of a mortal transforming into a vampire. Two rival covens want him either to join them or die.

ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE is a very entertaining vampire tale that works because the cast (natural and supernatural) appears genuine. Thus, the audience accepts vampirism and other paranormal creatures as a sort of sixth kingdom with several genres and species. The story line is fast-paced, filled with growing tension and suspense, and a fabulous surprise of an ending. Still, it is the ironic narrating of Chris quoting the romanticists like Yeats, Sappho, and E. John that turns this horror novel into a wonderfully humorous satire that spoofs itself yet provides a serious classic horror style undertone. W. Mark Simmons has written a winner that will please the full spectrum of horror fans, who will realize that this is not Kansas anymore, just an excellent tale.

Harriet Klausner

Christopher Csejthe's life is over. He lost his beloved wife and daughter in an automobile accident and now he has some weird disease that no one has ever seen before. He can't eat, he can't sleep, he had to quit his job as a teacher because he can't stand the sunlight so now he spends his nights as a disc jockey for a small local radio station waiting to die at any moment. When two strange women show up and try to convince him to travel with them to Seattle, Christopher is having none of it - until some strange monster tries to attack him at work. Suddenly, Christopher doesn't find himself so ready to die.

What he discovers in Seattle is that he is a vampire, well, sort of. Christopher has the reflexes and instincts of a young vampire, but has not yet transformed completely. He is an anomaly and there are those who want him dead and there are those who want him studied. Christopher himself just wants to get away from all of these freaky people who believe in crap like vampires and werewolves and stuff. With careful plotting and a random break in at the compound, Christopher is able to escape, but he doesn't get far. It turns out that there are many other vampires looking for him. Vampires who believe that Christopher can lead them to THE vampire - Count Dracula himself...

One Foot in the Grave was a very unusual vampire book that I greatly enjoyed. I loved Christopher as a character, he was witty, sarcastic, and completely unwilling to believe that he was now one of the powerful undead. It was also endearing to see him make so many mistakes and to know that he had weaknesses and could be manipulated, but he was still trying to be "the good guy." The plot had many unexpected twists and turns and the author really keeps you guessing until the last page of the book. The only complaint I had was that Christopher changed pretty abruptly (and not for the better in my opinion) near the end of the book and suddenly there are all of these other characters that play important roles. This was kind of weird, but I still really enjoyed the book. If you have the good fortune to come across a copy of this book at a reasonable price snatch it up - you will enjoy yourself!