Customer Reviews

The Object of My Affection Is in My Reflection: Coping with Narcissists

5 star:		(23)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Having finally left a man with Narcissistic Personality Disorder after twenty LONG years of emotional abuse, I've lived and learned the necessity of educating oneself on this disorder in order to cope. Some books are too clinical, some are too trite. This book is a summary of all the essentials one needs in recognizing the narcissist in a personal relationship or in the workplace. It's precisely on point in identifying their tactics and manipulations and also the impact of their behavior on their victims, and they leave victims everywhere, from the home to the office.

If you think you are dealing with a narcissist and need a primer, this book is an easy read summarizing the clinical studies of the experts. If you need to hear the words and see the reasons why narcissists don't change, you will find them in this book.

The Object Of My Affection Is In My reflection: Coping With Narcissists

This book focuses on narcissism, a personality disorder. If you have individuals in your personal and /or professional life who are self-centered, self-absorbed, have a sense of grandiosity, engage in pathological lying, and demonstrate a sense of entitlement, you must read this book. The book is divided into four parts. The part one discusses the root of Narcissism, which is generally a parent. The part two gives tips on identifying the Narcissist and it summarizes the impact of Narcissism on personal and professional relationships. The part three informs that Narcissists often suffer from addictions and it is difficult to diagnose as well as treat Narcissism. The part four provides strategies for surviving Narcissistic relationships.

If you believe you have a Narcissist in your life, I recommend that you read one more book, "The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists" by Eleanor Payson. This was my first book on Narcissism.

As a psychologist in private practice for over 25 years I have found Rokelle Lerners' book very helpful. Her style is easy to read and understand for therapists as well as clients. A must read for anyone who deals with narcissists!

Feeling I once again needed more info and skills to deal with a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), I ran across this book on amazon.com, and chose it because of the customer reviews. It not only did not disappoint, but it exceeded my expectations. Each book on NPD I had read had something to offer, and was helpful in some way. However, this one, from my perspective, is outstanding. Being clear and concisely comprehensive, it gave me further insight into the whys of this disorder, described my lived experience, confirmed "what works and what doesn't work" that I had painfully discovered over many years, brought light to and articulated the effects on a partner of someone with NPD, helped reduce my negative emotions as well as strengthen my inner self, and provided practical strategies . . . for family members, work colleagues, and therapists of persons with NPD. Thank you, Rokelle!

WOW!!!Excellent! Excellent! Excellent! I have educated myself extensively on NPD, and THIS is the book I could not put down! If you are 'under the spell' of living with one with NPD, the first step is to become aware of WHAT it is you are dealing with, and then acknowledge that this disorder is so perplexing that perhaps you DO need help to cope with the NPD individual in your life. Please...Go ahead and do yourself a 'life-altering favor'...do not hesitate to purchase this book! It will give you a complete array of tools that you need to reclaim your life, your values, your power, and your sanity. And if you have chosen to stay in this relationship, this "life experience" does not have to be a "life sentence" with 'no parole'. You CAN reclaim your life! The information in this book is amazingly helpful, incredibly detailed, and the author has such an abundance of insight into the NPD personality. For the first time in many, many years (actually decades), I now feel alive, in control, and HAPPY again. I have actually reclaimed my life, my values, and my soul! This book is like a 'breath of fresh air' for those of us who have been suffocated and stifled for so long.

We DO have options, and this author takes you, by the hand (and with no holds barred) to show you exactly HOW you can begin the process to light up your future and enjoy life once again. The powerful arsenal of the narcissist has remained unchallenged for far too long; now finally a viable arsenal is available for the spouse, partner, adult child, employee, or co-worker of one with NPD, to enable you to reclaim your power! The results of putting even 'some' of the author's ideas into practice - even after only three short days for me - have been both amazing and enlightening! I cannot wait to implement the full array of her very articulate healing advice and suggestions. She just "knows"... But perhaps Rokelle Lerner will never know how grateful I am to her for her insight and her work. I truly cannot thank the author enough for writing this book.

If you plan to purchase one 'life changing' book on addressing your challenge of 'how' to deal with 'daily challenges' of living or associating with one who has NPD, this is definitely the book for you. Your life CAN change in the midst of living with one with NPD...it really can. You can heal!

Great book that gives clear insight into the mind of a narcissist. Most people don't know how hurtful it is to be in a relationship with someone who is self-centered. Understanding this mindset teaches the reader how to spot this personality trait at work and in your personal life. It helps you set appropriate boundaries to avoid further conflict because these are difficult people to deal with and it teaches how to avoid antagonizing a narcissist at work or at home.

This is a very helpful book for anyone trying to understand the depth of the effects of living/working with narcissists. It accurately and often dramatically describes the intensity of struggling for selfhood in the face of narcissists, and gives clear tips on how to manage to hang on to your self. Informative and clear, but not dry or pedantic- this is a real world guide for keeping your sanity in the face of very challenging people.

A friend of mine who is getting his PhD in Psychology recommended that I read this book. I put it off. But when he handed a copy to me, I could not put it down! I read several chapters and then placed an order for 3 copies to give to family members and friends. This is a must-read for anyone who lives or works in close proximity to a suspected narcisst. Rakelle pulls no punches! Her writing style is brutally honest, as I feel it should be for someone dealing with this type of situation. It is a wake-up call! I was able to clearly identify narcissts from the past, as well as what I did right and wrong in those situations. I was also able to let go of some old grudges, where I had not been able to before. Now I feel armed with information on how to deal with my current situation and how to deal with any future narcissts who may cross my path. It really was like pulling the curtain back and exposing the wizard for who he/she truly is. That is liberation, indeed!

For those of you who find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist that you feel you can't leave (whether parent, spouse, boss, etc.), this book is great for helping you handle that relationship while keeping your own boundaries. The difficult part of dealing with someone who has NPD is that 99% of the time, they aren't going to change. This book provided very helpful strategies on how you can make daily interactions less frustrating. It is written well and easy to read!

Found the book to be very relevant and correct. It has many useful lists and tools for helping with next steps and validating current concerns. The author obviously has "practiced" and experienced her information.