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Occupy Innsmouth [Kindle Edition]

Raymond Jelli
3.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $0.99
 
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Book Description

The lives of three Occupy Wall Street protesters in a generic American city disintegrate when one of them leaves to join the Occupy Innsmouth protest located in the shadowy city of Innsmouth, Massachusetts.


Product Details

  • File Size: 213 KB
  • Print Length: 108 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Raymond Jelli; 2 edition (October 24, 2012)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B009WWJ44A
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,223,708 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

3.2 out of 5 stars
(4)
3.2 out of 5 stars
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Needs some editing December 6, 2012
Verified Purchase
Initially I found this novella engaging. There was a certain amount of topical interest with current events as the author used the rhetoric of the Occupy Wall Street movement as a springboard for an Innsmouth story. However it suffered from a common problem among self published works in the age of rapid e-publication. What was clearly missing was the sharp blue pencil of an editor. The prose was bloated and waaaayyyyyyy too wordy. There was so much redundancy in the text it became a real chore to read. I think the length could have been reduced by at least half and it would have tightened things up considerably. As it was, none of the characters were interesting, none of the dialogue (internal or otherwise) rang true and the one sequence where I'm sure Mr. Jelli thought it was a hoot ended up being an extremely tedious overuse of a certain 4 letter word. Also it was obvious no one reread it for content because word substitutions such as conscious for conscience were common. I am also not the biggest fan of sentence fragments. After an interminable build up, the ending came rather abruptly. There was no particular original spin on Innsmouth but I think with a bit of reworking the author might be able to create an appealing *short* (much shorter) story.
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4.0 out of 5 stars An interesting twist March 7, 2013
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I wasn't sure how the author was going to intertwine the occupy movement with the Old Ones. These two things didn't seem to go together. The story starts you at an occupy movement with young college students protesting the money crisis. One student is the tent sitter. When a flashy man in rich clothes arrives in a bus, he manages to take most of the young adults who were not known well to the other occupiers or who had no known family or friends.

It gets darker when the reader is shown that the bus is taking the occupiers to a cult center in Innsmouth. In some places it was like I was sitting in the movie theater trying to tell one of the girls to not run that way. Or What was she thinking?

Anyway, if you like a some dark fantasy with another species waiting in the background to take over the world, then you'll like this story. It had some really good descriptions. The characters were distinct and interesting.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Snarky, Smart, Fun February 1, 2013
Occupy Innsmouth: it's not deep (come on, did you expect it to be?), but what it IS is a nice little romp with a lot of snark; definitely worth taking a peek at, especially if you like to see various love-to-hate types relentlessly skewered. I enjoyed it and will be keeping track of further offerings.
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3.0 out of 5 stars What is worse, politics or the Great Old Ones ? November 15, 2012
By Vulpine
Got this story on a whim, of course, it has Innsmouth in the title. The intro grabbed me, giving a modern view of the shadow haunted city. Then it went into the story, and it was less Mythos story and more political/sociological view of the 'Occupy' movement. Since I'm more into Deep Ones than the Occupy movement, there were spots I kind of drifted, but then it would swing back to the Mythos side. My one bit of pickyness when/if the author reads it, my copy had the word 'rich' replaced with 'Rick'. Which made for some odd lines about a 'Rickly tailored suit' and such. Obviously a possessed spell checker. Or there's a fashion line I'm not aware of *wink*
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