Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques, Popularity, and Jealousy [Paperback]

Rachel Simmons (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 19, 2004

The national bestseller Odd Girl Out exposed a hidden culture of cruelty that had always been quietly endured by American girls. As Rachel Simmons toured the country, these girls found their voices and spoke to her about their pain. They wanted to talk-and they weren't the only ones. Mothers, teachers, counselors, young professional women, even fathers, came to Rachel with heart-wrenching personal stories that could no longer be kept secret.
Here, Rachel creates a safe place for girls to talk, rant, sound off, and find each other. The result is a collection of wonderful accounts of the inner lives of adolescent girls. Candid and disarming, creative and expressive, and always exceptionally self-aware, these poems, songs, confessions, and essays form a journal of American girlhood. They show us how deeply cruelty flows and how strongly these girls want to change.
Odd Girl Out helped girls find their voices; Odd Girl Speaks Out helps them tell their stories.

I'm always the odd girl out
No one talks to me
I try to be friendly and speak out
But I'm invisible, see?

You know, gossip is a natural thing in high school. I'm one of those girls that will
do it right in front of you. I'll whisper at my friends and look at you the whole time.
Then we'll all cut up laughing. You know we're talking about you.

My best friend and I started being friends with this other girl. But she was fat. It was hard because she always wanted to go down the slide second and she would crush us. We didn't want to tell her she was fat, so we decided to drop her. Her mother called my mother and
told her we were being mean. But we just couldn't be friends with her anymore.

-from Odd Girl Speaks Out

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

This sequel to the controversial bestseller Odd Girl Out compiles pseudonymous accounts of bullying, backstabbing and other nastiness that girls say they have suffered or perpetrated on other girls, intercut with brief commentary from political scientist Simmons. Simmons argues that for "thousands of years, women have been barred from showing aggression," although feeling jealous, competitive or threatened are "natural, appropriate" responses to the world we live in. Furthermore, because "girls are taught that expressing anger directly is wrong, many girls (and women) have no choice but to resort to secret acts of meanness." Although there is nothing "secret" about most of the nastiness the girls in this book describe-they're very verbal in their abuse, very obvious and deliberate in their shunning of other girls-there are more fundamental problems with Simmons's model. Since she finds aggression universal, there's no need to look for the happy girls. She does not include accounts from kind young women, even though their insights into living a good life might be instructive. Still, this anthology's target audience is the girl in trouble, and Simmons has some decent advice: e.g., don't take offense right away, don't assume you have an exclusive relationship with anyone, don't try to IM (instant message) your way through a fight, don't accept a bad relationship, get involved in positive activities, be kind when ditching an old best friend, etc. It's not much different from what teen advice manuals have always offered, but some readers may find Simmons's presumption-of-wickedness approach more disarming than the conventional, presumption-of-goodness literature.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Booklist

Sara Shandler's Ophelia Speaks(1999) responded to Mary Pipher's watershed title Reviving Ophelia (1994) with teens' own comments about the difficulties of growing up in a "girl poisoning" society. Now Simmons releases a collection of teens' words that builds on her own groundbreaking work, Odd Girl Out (2002), about the secret culture of aggression among adolescent girls. In this collection, Simmons draws from her workshops with teens, offering anecdotes, poems, and letters written by teens as well as her own insightful commentary. The chapters are loosely organized and examine bullying from a variety of angles: the voices of the bully, the victim, and the not-so-innocent bystander all speak here. Simmons also explores the more subtle hurts that come from shifting friendships and simmering jealousies. A section about "finding your inner strength" closes the book on a hopeful note. Parents, teachers, and social workers will find this revealing, but the book's most obvious audience is the young adults who will find support, direction, and even a community in their peers' words. Gillian Engberg
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 14 and up
  
• Paperback: 199 pages
• Publisher: Harcourt; 1st edition (January 19, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0156028158
• ISBN-13: 978-0156028158
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.3 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 0.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #319,784 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Rachel Simmons is the author of the New York Times bestseller Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls, and The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence. As an educator and coach, Rachel works internationally to develop strategies to address bullying and empower girls.

After graduating from Vassar College, Rachel won a Rhodes Scholarship from New York in 1998. She attended Oxford University, where she began her study of female aggression.

The founder of the Girls Leadership Institute, Rachel currently serves as a consultant to schools and organizations around the world. She has worked as a classroom teacher at Miss Hall's School in Massachusetts and the Roedean School in Johannesburg, South Africa.

Rachel is the host of the upcoming PBS television special, "A Girl's Life," and writes an advice blog for girls at TeenVogue.com.

Rachel has appeared on Oprah, Today, and other major national programs. Odd Girl Out was adapted into a highly acclaimed Lifetime television movie. Rachel lives in Brooklyn with her West Highland Terrier, Rosie, who is currently taking private workshops with Rachel to learn how to stop bullying other dogs.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

46 of 48 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Girl Bullying Is a Big Deal, April 20, 2004

By 

Carmen Matthews "The Serene Samurai" (San Diego, California) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques, Popularity, and Jealousy (Paperback)

When someone say's to you, "Oh! They're just jealous. Give them time. They will come around, 'Do you question your sanity?'"

And, isn't this another way of telling you that you are flawed, that you should feel ashamed of yourself, and that you need to give up being who you are - or else?"

"Odd Girl Speaks Out," is a wonderful book, written with 11-22 year-old girls in mind. But, every woman can get something out of this, because by age 8, and for the rest of our lives, we are socialized with these 3 unspoken rules:
1. Don't Compete;
2. Don't Outdo; and,
3. Make the guys more valuable to you, than girls could possibly be.

We are also socialized to not directly confront conflict, especially with other girls.

And we learn, at an early age, to base our worthiness upon hanging onto our best girlfriends, at the price of our own worthiness.

I'm so glad to have read this book, because each letter, written by the 11-22 year-old contributors, reminds us that Girl Power is not about seeking legislative rights, although I wouldn't want to reverse what our foremothers have given us.

Girl Power also is not about blaming men for what we haven't succinctly communicated to them.

Girl Power is about facing the reality of the darker side of being girls. It is where we stop seeking targets in other women/girls, to make them look worse than we feel about ourselves. Allgirls are socialized to believe that power for girls is limited, and that if the other girl has it, she has taken away all the possibility for her to have power.

What troubled me, though, about this book were 2 things:
1. Never did the author explore how girl bullying is passed on between the mother/daughter wounds, and the decisions that mother make about what society expects of them.
2. Throughout this book, Simmons advocates girls changing schools when things are overwhelmingly difficult. The problem with this is: You are leaving with yourself. Whatever wound you have, whatever disempowering habit you created in reaction to being attacked is something that you will express at the new school, until you overcome your fears, and develop skills to defuse and deflect negative energy that is coming towards you, from others.

That being said, I still appreciate reading this book, and knowing that Simmons is brave enough to turn her own experiences into helping millions of others around the world.

24 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Forget Diamonds-ODD GIRL is a girl's best friend., February 5, 2004

By 

Barbara Seaman - See all my reviews

This review is from: Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques, Popularity, and Jealousy (Paperback)

It's obvious that the ODD GIRL books have helped dry the tears, and restore the equilibrium, of millions among the undeserviedly abused. Thanks to Rachel Simmons, we pick ourselves up from the floor and soldier on.

But there is more. ODD GIRL SPEAKS OUT has the power to unleash a spring of creativity in those who " make art." whether it be writing, music, painting, or theatre.
True story: Several children in a fourth grade class volunteered to write an opera. But they were stumped. One girl happened on a copy of ODD GIRL SPEAKS OUT. She couldn't put it down . She instantly got the idea that "betrayal" could be their operatic theme. All of the kids" got it,' and the more they looked in the book the more great ideas they had for the plot, the characters, the music, the stage sets. : BUBBLING BETRAYAL was the name. It was a big hit, and many in the audiences said that it was like a grown- up opera in its depth and emotion, yet it dealt with the real life experience of kids.
So for those among you who want to write truthfully and from your heart, -first read this book!. ODD GIRL SPEAKS OUT could "light your pilot" as it already has for one fourth grade class.

14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A teen's perspective on an almost four star book, June 17, 2005

By 

Angel of the Future (Morgantown) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques, Popularity, and Jealousy (Paperback)

"Odd Girl Speaks Out" is a book of short stories by teen and preteen girls about their experiences with relationships between other girls. Opening the beginning of each section is commentary by the editor relating to what the section will be about.

What's Good-
1) Certain authors make powerful statements of self realization at the end of their stories. Ex-In "Who My Friends Really Were", the author states, "No longer do I judge or label...And most importantly I want everyone to know that no matter how bad things seem, they do get better...I got better." In "I Was the One Word that Everyone Fears: Alone", the author says, "Through my experiences I became a stronger person. I learned so much about myself and about others."
2) Some authors prefer to express themselves in poetry. Their poetry tells a story just like those who write in article format but is more direct. Those who like to read stories in article format but also enjoy poetry might find this refreshing (like I did).
3) The editor offers commentary about each of the sections of the book and some of it is helpful. Ex-In a snippet about talking to a friend about a problem, she offers three tips definitely worth using: Listen, Stay with the issue, and if need be, Apologize. In a snippet about losing trust in relationships with girls, she says not to give up on girls forever.
4) Certain stories can be inspiration for performing. Ex-"Just to Make You Happy" is written in monologue form and with a few changes is perfect for a drama performance.

What's Not So Good-
1) The story entitled "Friend Trouble". It feels like the whole story is the author complaining about her two friends for various reasons without offering any substance. Also, instead of making up names for her two friends she refers to them as "my skinny friend" and "my fat friend" and herself as "average fat". This is one story I don't recommend reading at all.
2) The editor mentions that for some girls who are constantly picked on, moving can not only be a fresh start but they can also become more popular. What she doesn't stress enough is that if those constantly picked on girls are carrying around heavy grudges, they still might have problems.
3) Sometimes the editor puts too much of herself into her commentary. She mentions a few experiences she had with her own friendships and at one point when she was talking about parents she wrote down what they said and "responded" back. In a book where girls are supposed to speak for themselves, it would be a good idea if she backed off and offered the advice with no emotional attachment.

Final Recommendations-
All in all this is a decent book with decent stories, but I recommend scanning through it first before buying.