Customer Reviews

Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides

5 star:		(49)
4 star:		(11)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

If you are even looking at this title, chances are you are planning a non-traditonal event. If you consider yourself an "offbeat" type, want to plan an unusual wedding, and are not offended by pg13 language, then this would be a great pick. (there is some liberal use of the f-word in here ;) )
The one drawback for me is that this book is about 75% focused on the wedding of the author and her personal story. It's hilarious and comforting at the same time. Still, I was hoping for more diversity in terms of weddings described, and more "how-to" suggestions, which are limited to little blue boxes every few pages or so.
Still, this is a great antidote to all that stuff that says you need a white dress, etc!
(interestingly, the cover photo is a stock photo. The author describes a fabulous outfit (not white) she commissioned from two local desgners; I wish that had been on the cover instead!)

this hee-larious, poignant, candid, awesome book is an absolute must for anyone needing inspiration and/or permission to go at their wedding the way they want with limited guilt from the usual suspects. when i crossed the line from "ultimate-vision-of-this-really-cool-thing-i-get-to-plan-and-be-the-star-of" to "reality-on-a-budget", it got intense: the guest list was becoming too large for the venue, my mom declared she would not drink out of the jelly jars we were planning to provide for libation receptacles, and one too many emails came from a bridal dress behemoth asking me to on come in and have a look at more poufy white dresses and, while supplies lasted, get a free heart pendant for the trip. (???)

we thought the time between our christmas eve engagement and planning a july 2007 garden wedding at my folk's place would be a snap. catering business friends were found with relative ease; books were ordered; magazines were bought, cut up, and taped onto construction paper for inspiration; wedding shows dutifully attended; spreadsheets created; advice freely asked and given... and i found my spirit becoming thoroughly crushed--asking myself, "isn't this supposed to be fun? i've got the man with whom i want to spend the rest of my life, my party dress, and a photo booth rented, so what's with the rest of this? who cares about renting freakin' linens and coordinating table runners? and...is the yard too lumpy with too steep an incline to seat people on those rental chairs we looked at? quick! sequester the elders on the deck so they don't fall off the bluff and/or break a hip!"

while too many well-intentioned wedding books sidestep the true purpose of a wedding, ariel brings back the humanity and the, "it takes a village" approach to this too oft commercialized, desensitizing industry. she focuses on the dearly loved communities two people are bringing together to celebrate this really awesome thing--AND have a party, look fabulous and gratefully accept gifts even though it can feel a little awkward for an offbeat couple. she provides her own wonderful chronicle alongside other brides' tales down the aisle, plus scads of great quick tips in each chapter. be prepared for copious amounts of f*-bombs dropped and particularly raw prose in some places--it's absolutely delicious.

for me, much of the book's cred is based on her ability to put her cards on the table and demonstrate that she came out all the better for her offbeat efforts. she urges the reader to figure out what they want, budget for what's important (e.g. photographer) and improvise on the not-so-important (matching cups? nooo--muglies!). most importantly, she talks about the (mostly) ups and (some) downs of asking for the help of your peeps (alternately, knowing how/when to graciously put your foot down and say "no"), as this is an amazing way to 1.) get things done 2.) let new and unexpected things pop up in the midst of it all, and 3.) forge new and/or greater bonds with the people you are asking to participate not only in the events/tasks leading up to your wedding day, but hopefully the rest of your lives.

ultimately, this book gave me an overall feeling of empowerment and being okay with our coupled nuttiness. yes, planning an offbeat wedding can be much more involved, complex, and emotional than paying someone else to do it for you, but it's also a great opportunity to involve your respective circles of loved ones and make it that much more meaningful. ariel seems to say, "put the energy out there and it will come back to you in the most meaningful, unpredictable ways." once i unleashed the creative, offbeat delegate in me, amazing things started happening...
my grandpa, unbeknownst to us, began cruising the grocery store sales for cake mix and is already planning his spring/summer garage sale strategy for whatever we'll still need; people have taken me aside to dish that they are saving jelly jars for our beverage table; we decided to get a personalized, stemless "MOB" [mother of the bride] wine glass for my non-jelly jar mom; my fiancé's dear friends who are carpenters agreed to help us build an arch we could move to our own garden after the ceremony, people have quit bugging me about my decision to keep 'all that is printed' in lowercase, and...we have chosen to have specifically non-dairy food options since the majority of my family is lactose intolerant (for the lactose-riddled dishes, we have selected to put bowls of Lactaid with a spoon and a "milk pills!" sign, much like the look of dinner mints, but not). why? because it's important to us and it's our day to plan the things that matter to us. and, most people will have likely forgotton their dairy supplements, so we're really doing everyone a favor there...

I picked this book up because Seal Press is known for its amazing, feminist literature and because I work in the wedding industry. While it's true-- as the other reviewer mentioned-- that it focuses on one woman's account of her wedding process, it was so helpful to see one real story through to its completion. There are plenty of helpful and inspiring tips thrown in, but the point of this book is not to be an instructional for planning an offbeat wedding (because that would be antithetical to its spirit) but instead to inspire you to think outside the wedding magazine, reach into your own life and your own experiences, and to craft an event that resonates deeply with you.

As soon as I discovered Ariel's blog, I knew I had to read her book. I was recently engaged and hadn't put much thought into what I wanted in my wedding, but I knew that I wanted it to be awesome, fun, unique, and as low-budget as possible. I didn't know where to start, and Ariel's book seemed like the best jumping-off point.

It was perfect. Ariel's writing style is fun, accessible, and peppered with moments of humor and insight that kept me reading straight through until I reached the last page.

For those who complain that this book is mostly a personal memoir: yes, it is. If you are looking for an advanced handbook on postmodern weddings, look elsewhere - but good luck finding it. The very definition of "offbeat" makes it difficult to come up with ideas that will work for everyone. It's best to just present a series of stories and ideas and let the reader take from it what they will. This is exactly what Ariel has done. Yes, it's a memoir - but it's a very good one.

Offbeat Bride will probably appeal more to people like me, who are not already steeped in a counter-cultural lifestyle and don't even know where to begin planning a wedding that reflects their personal sense of style. If you already know what you want, and don't need any validation or reassurance, then you can skip it. (But it's still a very fun read.)

Invariably, people like Ariel will fall under criticism for being "too offbeat" or "not offbeat enough." Hair in buns? Outrageous! No suggestion of brides wearing pants? SCANDALOUS! One bride's offbeat is another bride's ho-hum, certainly - but that's just the nature of being offbeat in the first place. Offbeat Bride is the story of one bride, interwoven with many others, and the things that they did to make their weddings special. Their choices shouldn't be seen as the be-all end-all of offbeat - in fact, they're just the beginning.

This is the -BEST- wedding book I have come across since getting engaged. Written with a quirky sense of humor that's likely to make even the most stressed out brides giggle, it's helped me focus on getting what WE want from our party - not necessarily what's traditional or what everyone else expects/wants. Yes, you're normal if you haven't dreamed of your wedding day since you were four!

My fiancé and I are planning a simple celebration at a botanical garden. We're trying to make it ecologically friendly, while being very budget-conscious (being just out of college!). There are more than a few books about eco-weddings out there, but most of the ones that I've read don't seem to focus much on low-cost green weddings. Offbeat Bride, while not focusing too much on the green aspect, does cover streamlining/simplifying/"green-ing" your party on a budget.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough! I'm lending it to all of my engaged/soon-to-be-engaged friends. If you get one wedding book (for ideas or for planning), get THIS ONE.

I'm an American living in Japan, and though I have friends here, it has been difficult to find someone to discuss the ins and outs and minute details of my wedding with. It is so easy to lose yourself in all the wedding glitz and without my close friends here to act as mirrors, I felt myself slipping, forgetting who I am and what the real me would want for my wedding.

Then I ordered this book.

It instantly snapped me back to the reality of who I am and what I want. It gave me great ideas, inspired my creativity and most of all, it supported my offbeat-ness in a land that has only pretty recently considered western style weddings to be on-beat (making them THE thing to do).

I know it sounds cheeseball, but seriously, this book is like having a good friend that I can tote around in my bag, when all of my good friends are across the planet.

This book is more for getting fired up about planning a wedding that feels real to you and your spouse-to-be than it is step-by-step instructional.

I've never laughed out loud at a wedding book, and I laughed so often while reading this I startled my fiance. It's full of anecdotes from other brides and Stallings recounts her own wedding procession, from non-proposal to post-wedding emotions.

While she didn't have finger-wagging naysayers shooting down her indie visions, other brides in her book did, and give you suggestions and advice on dealing with the people who love you who think they should be running your wedding.

If you are looking to get married and have a meaningful celebration with family and friends, this book opens up the possibilities. And it's not too indie-snobbish, either. As Stallings says on her fantastic web site http://offbeatbride.com, "Your wedding is not a contest...I don't think your wedding needs to be more offbeat. It just needs to be honest and authentic, and if what you want is a white dress and a more traditional ceremony, I think that's f*****g awesome."

I read this entire book the same day I got it. It was such a relief to have someone tell me that it's OK...it's OK not to have the big white lacy ruffled dress and the big white tiered & tasteless cake and the big white crowd of 400 people. Of course I already knew that in my head but her stories and perspective made me feel much calmer about the whole thing. I laughed out loud several times and will be donating the book to the library when it's all over. Meanwhile I'll keep repeating to myself, if it doesn't have meaning to us, we don't have to do it.

Best book ever. No, really. Such a lifesaver. The wedding process has not been a smooth one for me, and I was really at my wits' end until I got this book. I'm still fighting the good fight, though, and Ariel kind of made it possible. It's really hard, in our culture, to plan a wedding and be a feminist-- even a mild-mannered one. I have ammunition, and a renewed sense of humor about the event. It helps you feel better about wanting what you want and draws a HUGE line between bridezilla behavior and merely wanting to be a project manager-- I'm definitely the latter... though I'm not sure my mother (who wants me to have a traditional ceremony) woud agree... BUY THIS BOOK. Even if you're going traditional, BUY IT ANYWAY.

My friend sent me this book knowing I was having quite the conundrum reconciling my "offbeatishness" with my fiance's desire to have a "real wedding". Thanks to Miss Ariel for sharing her own tale of how she pulled off a wedding that was unique, fun, and real! The irreverent manner in which she describes some of the most ridiculous wedding traditions is laugh-out-loud funny, and she offers practical tips and advice for saving money and personalizing the whole sordid affair. The book IS mostly about her own wedding planning process, which is perfect if you don't want to preached to about what should and shouldn't be done, and be forewarned that some of the language could be a bit strong if you're a choirgirl. I now have the confidence I need to have the best of both worlds - I get to show off all those funky things about me that He loves, and He gets an old fashioned church wedding complete with groomsmaids and bridesmen!