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17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
An Important Work for Christian Youth and Young Adults, February 10, 2010
This review is from: Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!: Young Adults Speak Out About Sexuality and Christianity (Where's the Faith) (WTF: Where's the Faith?) (Paperback)
As a married woman who's only child is 18 months-old, young adult sexuality isn't a very big concern of mine right now---hasn't been for some time. I'm married. No matter what your religious beliefs, I'm "go" for sex. But I remember very clearly a time that wasn't the case. As someone who grew up in the southern, evangelical, conservative Christian tradition, I was taught that sex outside of marriage wasa sin against God, no exceptions. End of discussion. Moreover, other than one extremely awkward youth group sex talk, I don't remember my church ever discussing sex, sexuality, body image, or abuse. What I do remember is this. One Sunday night the boys were separated from the girls and we got "the talk", from a group of volunteer Sunday school teachers. The message was clear: Sex before marriage is a sin. And you'd better be really careful even touching your boyfriend at all because once you go getting him fired up, well, look out. Somehow I internalized that this particular sin was a "poobah" sin. Sex outside of marriage was right up there with murder on my mental sliding scale of sin. I didn't have was anything like Oh God, Oh God, Oh God! And looking back on it, I would have greatly benefited from a thoughtful discussion about the topics covered in this book, both with my church peers and at home. It opens up the channels for honest and difficult conversations about Christianity and all things sex-related. Oh God contains a series of essays written by young, Christian adults who reflect on their younger selves as they struggled with understanding the role of sex, sexuality, body image, and abuse in relation to their faith. The writing in the book is excellent, but it is secondary to the affirming, positive messages I found there. First, let me say what this book isn't. It is not a didactic, "these are the rules", book about Christianity and sex. Neither is it "anything goes," God is love, "Jenny bar the door" book. Instead, Oh God, is a compilation of thoughtful essays written by those who struggled mightily with the theological consequences of their choices. Oh God ignores every taboo. Two chapters reflect on different church-based sex and sexuality programs and provide insights into what types of curricula develop healthy Christian attitudes about sex. Another chapter is a thrilling essay by a young woman who used "feminism" as an excuse to hook up with any guy who would bite, and the psychological harm that casual sex can inflicted upon her. There is a discussion about growing up gay in the church, about porn addiction, and about in vitro fertilization. I'm pretty sure that covers most of the topics we're taught not to talk about in church. But the answer posed by this series is "why?". Why don't we talk about these issues in church? I was moved most by the thoughtful discussions of faith and body image. It was not long after I entered college that I realized I had a body that was for anything other than sports. About that same time, I began restricting my diet and obsessing about exercise in order to sculpt the "perfect" female body, i.e., to look like the women in the magazines. Thankfully, I was interrupted by friends and family before I developed life-threatening anorexia, but many women, and even some men, are not. Why isn't the church talking about something that can kill our youngest members? Never at any time during this body obsession phase did I consider the theological implications of my starvation. Perhaps it was because my faith was so flip-floppy at that time, but it never dawned on me that religion had anything to say about body image. Oh God makes it abundantly clear that Christianity has a lot to say about body image, all of it good. I would recommend this book for young women solely for this reason. I came away armed with specific, precise reasons to teach my child that he should love all of himself--mind, body, and soul. I will recommend this book to my church and I will use it with my kid when the time is right. I also recommend it to my Christian friends who have children who are at the age to talk about this stuff (*which is pretty young, by the way). It only takes a few hours to read it cover-to-cover. I really wish I'd had a resource like this when I was bumbling through my teens and twenties. I just groped around in the dark. (Yeah, that pun was intended.)
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12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Reclaiming sexuality as a gift of God, February 6, 2010
This review is from: Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!: Young Adults Speak Out About Sexuality and Christianity (Where's the Faith) (WTF: Where's the Faith?) (Paperback)
This book consists of ten intensely honest and engagingly readable essays written in the first person, on multiple topics related to the intersection of sexuality and faith. As an older adult, I was grateful for the description of modern collegate sexuality and I am grateful that the book doesn't stop at the supposed "happily ever after" of marriage, addressing infertility, IVF, and fidelity. The book also addresses issues that one might not expect to see in a book about sexuality and christian spirituality: eating disorders, sexual abuse and a call for appropriate teaching about our embodiment. I plan to base a young adult sexuality retreat on the book, using the discussion questions provided with each essay. Kudos to Chalice Press for publishing a this much-needed book as part of a series written by and for young adults!
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Must Read for Christian Young Adults -- and Church Leaders, February 9, 2010
This review is from: Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!: Young Adults Speak Out About Sexuality and Christianity (Where's the Faith) (WTF: Where's the Faith?) (Paperback)
The phrase "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" describes a policy of the United States Military regarding gays and lesbians serving in the armed forces. The phrase has carried over into other realms of life, including the church - generally to describe the place of gays and lesbians in the church. But, one could just as easily carry this phrase over to apply to sex in general. In the church, we don't talk about sex, and we would just as soon you not bring it up. Sex is private, even dirty. It would appear that St. Augustine's ghost continues to hover over the church, always carrying a copy of his Confessions for ready reference. And yet, sex is part of life. A quick look at our culture's movies, tv shows, advertisements, and music, would suggest that sex dominates society. It's there, right in front of us, and yet the church seems to take little or no notice, except perhaps to tell our teens (and the gays in our midst) to just say no! Despite our "best efforts" to ignore the situation, it doesn't seem to be going away. This is especially true for our younger adults and youth. The "just say no" movement seems to have little effect, in part because it really doesn't deal with the realities faced by young people today. Indeed, many aren't quite sure what sex is - as Bill Clinton famously illustrated. Into the midst of this blissful ignorance comes a book with a title that is sure to provoke both interest and concern. The phrase "oh God, oh God, oh God," might sound like a prayer, but few would take it that way. We know what it means. Edited by Heather Godsey and Lara Blackwood Pickrel, two Disciples of Christ young adults and clergywomen, this book brings together a series of essays that deal with topics rarely broached in the church, at least not without a degree of controversy. On this score the editors write revealingly: "When love, sexuality, and embodiment are brought up within the context of faith, the church, or spirituality, a corporate shudder travels throughout the body of Christ, and with that shudder comes confusion, resentment, and isolation. It is as though a large portion of ourselves must be left at the door as we enter into communities of faith" (pg. 1). The editors and the authors of this volume, however, have chosen not to leave the questions at the door, and so they wrestle openly and honestly with issues such as sex education in the church, chastity programs, pornography, infertility, in vitro fertilization, homosexuality, fidelity, and concerns about body image. These are issues that rage in our society, and yet the church remains silent, or if it speaks, it usually speaks in tones of judgment and disapproval. When such tones dominate the conversation, then the conversation goes underground or it simply doesn't happen. The editors and writers understand that not talking can leave people isolated and alone, and it can even be dangerous to one's physical, emotional, and spiritual health. As such, this is a book designed to provoke discussion (and discussion questions are found at the end of each chapter). I need to provide a sense of perspective on my reading of the book. First, I am no longer a young adult. I expect that I'm probably old enough to be the father of many of the authors. I've been married for twenty-six years and have a son who is in college. Those who write, and the audience for whom they write, represent a different generation from mine. But, as a pastor and as a parent, I cannot, in good conscience, remain blind to the issues that this generation deals with, some of which my generation never even contemplated when we were young adults, such as that availability of pornography on the internet. Young adults today are also marrying later in life, which presents any number of issues that may not have presented themselves to a majority of those who make up the church today. As for the second bit of perspective, this past summer I participated in a session at the 2009 Disciples of Christ General Assembly that introduced the series in which this book is found. The series that focuses on young adult issues carries the title WTF (Where's the Faith). The series, which is intended to be provocative is edited by Christian Piatt (one of the essayists in this volume) and Brandon Gilvin. Both are young adults, with Brandon being an ordained Disciple minister and Christian being married to one. In the session at the General Assembly, the editors and some of the contributors to the volume, talked about the importance of the book, and the risks they were taking in writing these essays, which are frank, at times unsettling, and certainly challenging - even for those of us over 50. Consider, however, the risk being taken by young clergy woman telling her own story of "hooking up" while in college - that is sleeping with someone with no commitment beyond the moment (and often induced by drinking). And yet young adults need to know that they're not alone, and that some behaviors can be destructive. This is a book that calls for the church to exhibit grace and love in ways it is often unprepared to offer without a great deal of divine presence. This is a book that the church should take seriously. The editors, the authors (who represent a variety of mainline Protestant communities), and the publisher need to be commended for taking the risks necessary to get the conversation going. Now, it's up to us - the church - to offer a safe place for the conversation to commence.
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