Customer Reviews

Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!: Young Adults Speak Out About Sexuality and Christianity (Where's the Faith) (WTF: Where's the Faith?)

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

As a married woman who's only child is 18 months-old, young adult sexuality isn't a very big concern of mine right now---hasn't been for some time. I'm married. No matter what your religious beliefs, I'm "go" for sex.

But I remember very clearly a time that wasn't the case. As someone who grew up in the southern, evangelical, conservative Christian tradition, I was taught that sex outside of marriage wasa sin against God, no exceptions. End of discussion.

Moreover, other than one extremely awkward youth group sex talk, I don't remember my church ever discussing sex, sexuality, body image, or abuse. What I do remember is this. One Sunday night the boys were separated from the girls and we got "the talk", from a group of volunteer Sunday school teachers. The message was clear: Sex before marriage is a sin. And you'd better be really careful even touching your boyfriend at all because once you go getting him fired up, well, look out. Somehow I internalized that this particular sin was a "poobah" sin. Sex outside of marriage was right up there with murder on my mental sliding scale of sin.

I didn't have was anything like Oh God, Oh God, Oh God! And looking back on it, I would have greatly benefited from a thoughtful discussion about the topics covered in this book, both with my church peers and at home. It opens up the channels for honest and difficult conversations about Christianity and all things sex-related.

Oh God contains a series of essays written by young, Christian adults who reflect on their younger selves as they struggled with understanding the role of sex, sexuality, body image, and abuse in relation to their faith. The writing in the book is excellent, but it is secondary to the affirming, positive messages I found there.

First, let me say what this book isn't. It is not a didactic, "these are the rules", book about Christianity and sex. Neither is it "anything goes," God is love, "Jenny bar the door" book. Instead, Oh God, is a compilation of thoughtful essays written by those who struggled mightily with the theological consequences of their choices.

Oh God ignores every taboo. Two chapters reflect on different church-based sex and sexuality programs and provide insights into what types of curricula develop healthy Christian attitudes about sex. Another chapter is a thrilling essay by a young woman who used "feminism" as an excuse to hook up with any guy who would bite, and the psychological harm that casual sex can inflicted upon her. There is a discussion about growing up gay in the church, about porn addiction, and about in vitro fertilization. I'm pretty sure that covers most of the topics we're taught not to talk about in church. But the answer posed by this series is "why?". Why don't we talk about these issues in church?

I was moved most by the thoughtful discussions of faith and body image. It was not long after I entered college that I realized I had a body that was for anything other than sports. About that same time, I began restricting my diet and obsessing about exercise in order to sculpt the "perfect" female body, i.e., to look like the women in the magazines. Thankfully, I was interrupted by friends and family before I developed life-threatening anorexia, but many women, and even some men, are not. Why isn't the church talking about something that can kill our youngest members?

Never at any time during this body obsession phase did I consider the theological implications of my starvation. Perhaps it was because my faith was so flip-floppy at that time, but it never dawned on me that religion had anything to say about body image. Oh God makes it abundantly clear that Christianity has a lot to say about body image, all of it good. I would recommend this book for young women solely for this reason. I came away armed with specific, precise reasons to teach my child that he should love all of himself--mind, body, and soul.

I will recommend this book to my church and I will use it with my kid when the time is right. I also recommend it to my Christian friends who have children who are at the age to talk about this stuff (*which is pretty young, by the way). It only takes a few hours to read it cover-to-cover. I really wish I'd had a resource like this when I was bumbling through my teens and twenties. I just groped around in the dark. (Yeah, that pun was intended.)

This book consists of ten intensely honest and engagingly readable essays written in the first person, on multiple topics related to the intersection of sexuality and faith. As an older adult, I was grateful for the description of modern collegate sexuality and I am grateful that the book doesn't stop at the supposed "happily ever after" of marriage, addressing infertility, IVF, and fidelity. The book also addresses issues that one might not expect to see in a book about sexuality and christian spirituality: eating disorders, sexual abuse and a call for appropriate teaching about our embodiment. I plan to base a young adult sexuality retreat on the book, using the discussion questions provided with each essay. Kudos to Chalice Press for publishing a this much-needed book as part of a series written by and for young adults!

The phrase "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" describes a policy of the United States Military regarding gays and lesbians serving in the armed forces. The phrase has carried over into other realms of life, including the church - generally to describe the place of gays and lesbians in the church. But, one could just as easily carry this phrase over to apply to sex in general. In the church, we don't talk about sex, and we would just as soon you not bring it up. Sex is private, even dirty. It would appear that St. Augustine's ghost continues to hover over the church, always carrying a copy of his Confessions for ready reference.

And yet, sex is part of life. A quick look at our culture's movies, tv shows, advertisements, and music, would suggest that sex dominates society. It's there, right in front of us, and yet the church seems to take little or no notice, except perhaps to tell our teens (and the gays in our midst) to just say no! Despite our "best efforts" to ignore the situation, it doesn't seem to be going away. This is especially true for our younger adults and youth. The "just say no" movement seems to have little effect, in part because it really doesn't deal with the realities faced by young people today. Indeed, many aren't quite sure what sex is - as Bill Clinton famously illustrated.

Into the midst of this blissful ignorance comes a book with a title that is sure to provoke both interest and concern. The phrase "oh God, oh God, oh God," might sound like a prayer, but few would take it that way. We know what it means. Edited by Heather Godsey and Lara Blackwood Pickrel, two Disciples of Christ young adults and clergywomen, this book brings together a series of essays that deal with topics rarely broached in the church, at least not without a degree of controversy. On this score the editors write revealingly: "When love, sexuality, and embodiment are brought up within the context of faith, the church, or spirituality, a corporate shudder travels throughout the body of Christ, and with that shudder comes confusion, resentment, and isolation. It is as though a large portion of ourselves must be left at the door as we enter into communities of faith" (pg. 1).

The editors and the authors of this volume, however, have chosen not to leave the questions at the door, and so they wrestle openly and honestly with issues such as sex education in the church, chastity programs, pornography, infertility, in vitro fertilization, homosexuality, fidelity, and concerns about body image. These are issues that rage in our society, and yet the church remains silent, or if it speaks, it usually speaks in tones of judgment and disapproval. When such tones dominate the conversation, then the conversation goes underground or it simply doesn't happen.

The editors and writers understand that not talking can leave people isolated and alone, and it can even be dangerous to one's physical, emotional, and spiritual health. As such, this is a book designed to provoke discussion (and discussion questions are found at the end of each chapter).

I need to provide a sense of perspective on my reading of the book. First, I am no longer a young adult. I expect that I'm probably old enough to be the father of many of the authors. I've been married for twenty-six years and have a son who is in college. Those who write, and the audience for whom they write, represent a different generation from mine. But, as a pastor and as a parent, I cannot, in good conscience, remain blind to the issues that this generation deals with, some of which my generation never even contemplated when we were young adults, such as that availability of pornography on the internet. Young adults today are also marrying later in life, which presents any number of issues that may not have presented themselves to a majority of those who make up the church today.

As for the second bit of perspective, this past summer I participated in a session at the 2009 Disciples of Christ General Assembly that introduced the series in which this book is found. The series that focuses on young adult issues carries the title WTF (Where's the Faith). The series, which is intended to be provocative is edited by Christian Piatt (one of the essayists in this volume) and Brandon Gilvin. Both are young adults, with Brandon being an ordained Disciple minister and Christian being married to one. In the session at the General Assembly, the editors and some of the contributors to the volume, talked about the importance of the book, and the risks they were taking in writing these essays, which are frank, at times unsettling, and certainly challenging - even for those of us over 50. Consider, however, the risk being taken by young clergy woman telling her own story of "hooking up" while in college - that is sleeping with someone with no commitment beyond the moment (and often induced by drinking). And yet young adults need to know that they're not alone, and that some behaviors can be destructive. This is a book that calls for the church to exhibit grace and love in ways it is often unprepared to offer without a great deal of divine presence.

This is a book that the church should take seriously. The editors, the authors (who represent a variety of mainline Protestant communities), and the publisher need to be commended for taking the risks necessary to get the conversation going. Now, it's up to us - the church - to offer a safe place for the conversation to commence.

Fresh, remarkably honest and deeply personal; Oh God, Oh God, Oh God addresses multiple and varied insights into what it means to be both human (i.e. a sexual being) and Christian.

An issue so often and easily swept under the rug when concentrating on spirituality, this book addresses complications that arise when people attempt to reconcile their faith, the faith community and their own emotions and physicality.

Oh God opens the door to frank discussions about sexuality from a Christian perspective on everything from body image, abuse, homosexuality, infertility, societal pressures and constant bombardment of sex in the media. Christian sexual education; what works and why the traditional model does not. (Quite a lot for one book) This book is a wonderful starting point for open discussion on what is one of God's greatest gifts to us as children of God, our sexuality; our ability to make an act that in any other part of the natural world is simply procreative, not just a physical but mental, emotional and spiritual exchange.

In OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD! young writers share their personal stories and struggles as they try to reconcile sexuality with spirituality. Each of the ten chapters offers new insights. At the end of each chapter, thought-provoking "Discussion and Contemplation" questions are asked.

I particularly liked "The Silver Ring and the Ring of Fire," as it showed why the True Love Waits movement is inadequate for helping young people deal with their sexuality; the chapter raises questions that our kids must answer for themselves. In another chapter, a writer tells how her experience of sexuality education through the church has had a lasting, profound influence on her life.

I was pleased that the book contains chapters dealing with infertility and in vitro fertilization. These topics are not generally considered sexuality issues, but they also deserve attention and thought.

OH GOD, OH GOD, OH GOD! would be a great study book for adults of any age.

This book is a gift to the church and to young adults who faithfully wrestle with issues of sexuality. How I wish I'd had it when I was in my early and mid twenties! (The first chapter on the inadequacy of the True Love Waits approach hit particularly close to home.) But I'm glad to have it now as a tool for ministry. The book bridges the disconnect that is often carefully maintained in the church: bodies and sexuality are gifts from God, but good churchgoing folk don't talk about them, and we certainly don't act on their impulses.

I'm struck by the willingness of the authors to lay bare their own inner and interpersonal struggles, some of which are still fresh. Their chosen vulnerability flies in the face of the fear that breeds either silence about or rigid positions on issues of sexuality. It models difficult but needed conversation, which is necessary for youth and young adults to go forward with an integrated, faithful, healthy understanding of bodies and relationships.

Thank you for your courage in writing and publishing this book. Thank you too for drawing in a wide range of subjects related to sexuality, making it obvious how much of the human experience we quarantine when we treat sexuality as a taboo topic.

As both a young adult and a minister to youth I have been looking for a book like this for a long time! It speaks honestly and openly about issues that are meaningful to developing who we are in today's world and holds nothing back when it comes to dealing with issues of how we experience our faith and our sexuality. The questions at the end of each chapter were great for reflection and for my own growth! It will be great to use as during a study group soon! I highly recomend this book to everyone!!!!

Some topics are just not talked about. Well, at least not at Church, or in "polite company". No wonder young people feel so alone and confused about God's role in their decisions. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God! makes such conversations easier and challenges the church "show up" for the conversation. The discussion questions are great conversation starters and each section is an easy read. The best part of the book is the honesty with which the writers share their own story. Thank you for a book that remembers God made all of us, even the parts that make us blush. It is about time we stopped feeling guilty for being so wonderfully made and talk about the honest questions lost on the tips of our tongues.

It's about time someone talked openly about sex and faith. Using essays written by young adults, this book does just that. Hopefully, the editors will soon come out with another volume giving us even more to talk about!

The book tries to cover all the challenges modern Christians face about sexuality. However, it does not cover many issues. Many writers did not present where their beliefs come from. Therefore, the book is not very valid as presentation of Christians viewpoint. On the the bright side, these stories are very personal. They can be viewed as windows to understand others' difficulty.