Oh No She Didn't: The Top 100 Style Mistakes Women Make and How to Avoid Them [Hardcover]

Clinton Kelly (Author)

Book Description

Release date: October 12, 2010

Muffin tops. Scrunchies. Suntan hose. Slut shoes. Visible panty line.

Who hasn’t had the unfortunate experience of witnessing—or (gasp!) actually wearing—one of these fashion disasters?

The atrocities Clinton Kelly has seen—it’s a surprise he hasn’t gouged out his own eyes. Mom jeans? Fancy fingernails? Tracksuits? In the same straight-talking style that has made TLC’s What Not to Wear a smash hit for eight seasons, the cheeky media personality and author of Freakin’ Fabulous shows women how to outfit themselves with confidence and style as he pokes fun at fashion "don’ts." From the most obvious faux pas (Texas tuxedos) to borderline offenses (peekaboo boobies), Clinton offers detailed and entertaining critiques of our top one hundred sartorial slip-ups. He turns his keen eye to wardrobe, color, cut, cleanliness, hairstyle, accessories, and even posture. And because he loves you, he presents easy alternatives and practical suggestions for creating fabulous outfits that will make you forget you ever wore socks with clogs.

Clinton also explains how to use trends to your advantage at any age, from deciding which ones work for you to understanding how to wear them to keep your look relevant. Because if you’re not comfortable in the sequined mini, everyone around you will know it.

A delightful mix of hilarious dish and expert fashion advice, Oh No She Didn’t will turn anyone from fashion victim to fashionista in no time.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Clinton Kelly is best known for cohosting TLC’s hit makeover show What Not to Wear and The Chew on ABC Daytime. Originally from Port Jefferson Station, New York, Clinton now resides in New York City and Connecticut. 

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

INTRODUCTION

THE ATROCITIES I’VE SEEN

I mean, seriously, sometimes I’m surprised I haven’t already gouged out my own eyes. Truth be told, I did come pretty damn close once. I was in Pittsburgh, at the airport, or maybe it was Cincinnati. Doesn’t matter, really. There I was, just minding my own business, reading the newspaper and waiting for my flight to board, when a couple of women approached me.

“Are you Clinton?” one of them asked.

This question always kind of bugs me. You know it’s me. Just say hello and go back to your quadruple mocha latte. “Yep,” I replied, and looked up to see two of the most horrific outfits imaginable. Both women—both—were wearing horizontal-striped turtlenecks tucked into high-waisted Mom Jeans with white cross-trainers.

“We love your show!” said one.

“We watch it all the time!” declared the other.

I smiled and said thank you, because I’m a gentleman. But inside my little head, I screamed to the heavens with all my might: Why, God! Why do you hate me so much!

Maybe I get a tad exasperated from time to time, but certainly you can understand why. I’ve spent the good part of a decade explaining, with as much patience as I could muster, why you shouldn’t pair socks with sandals, why you might want to avoid tube tops after the age of forty, why elastic-waist pants are evil incarnate. But, evidently, not everyone is listening.

Still, I continue on with my mission to make America a more beautiful place. I’m like that Native American dude from the commercial who cries when he sees people litter. Except, I’m not crying. It’s more like I’m laughing at you. In fact, he’s laughing at you too. We’re having gin and tonics right now, and I was just telling him that your outfit was revolting. And you know what he said?

“And how.”

And how! Couldn’t you just die? I almost peed my pants a little.

© 2010 Clinton Kelly

Product Details

• Hardcover: 208 pages
• Publisher: Gallery Books (October 12, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1439163162
• ISBN-13: 978-1439163160
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.2 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (101 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #346,568 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Clinton Kelly is the co-host of TLC's popular show What Not to Wear, a spokesperson for Macy's, and a motivational speaker who has successfully talked thousands of women out of wearing stirrup pants. He received a master's degree in journalism from Northwestern University and has worked as an editor at several noted fashion publications, including Marie Claire, Mademoiselle, and DNR, a weekly men's trade magazine. Originally from Long Island, he lives in New York City.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

57 of 57 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars "The atrocities I've seen." October 27, 2010

By E. Bukowsky HALL OF FAMETOP 50 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

If you hate politically incorrect humor, do not read Clinton Kelly's "Oh No, She Didn't." It will infuriate you and, if you regularly commit "the top 100 style mistakes" that Kelly derides, you may find yourself wincing and/or rushing home to change. However, if you don't care that much about your appearance, always look great, or really want to know what Kelly thinks, you can relax and approach this book as the riotous spoof that, on some level, it is meant to be. Not knowing Mr. Kelly through his reality television show, "What Not to Wear," I cannot be sure that he is not a mean-spirited cur. However, I do know that "Oh No, She Didn't" reduced me and a colleague to fits of helpless laughter.

Complete with full-color portraits of ladies wearing less than flattering undergarments and unwisely baring their assets, flip-flops being immolated (I hate flip-flops), someone blithely hailing a cab wearing what appears to be her pajamas, hirsute legs with panty hose, and other scary sights, "Oh No, She Didn't" is a photo album for non-fashionistas. Who cares that Kelly thinks calf-length skirts pigeonhole you as belonging to a "religious cult"; that tent dresses resemble "two curtains sewn together at the top and sides, with holes for the arms and head"; that turtlenecks choke you and generally make you look short and squat; and that frosting is for cake, not hair? No one can stop you from wearing t-shirts with silly logos, horizontal stripes (even though you have a bit of a paunch), or cross-trainers if you feel like it. We live in America, after all, land of the free and home of the brazen.

Some will say that Clinton Kelly is mean, profane, opinionated, intolerant, and sarcastic, and they would be absolutely justified in their assessment. Whatever you think of Kelly as a human being and regardless of your opinions about his style tips, you may get a kick out of the wildly irreverent "Oh No, She Didn't."

51 of 55 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Laugh Out Loud Funny October 8, 2010

By E. DeArdo

Format:Hardcover

Anyone who has seen TLC's "What Not To Wear" knows what to expect from Clinton--acerbic comments about the "before" wardrobe and a take-no-prisoners approach to the creation of the new wardrobe, all done with affection. This book, which chronicles the 100 top fashion mistakes women make, is in the same vein.
Now, if you're reading this book, you probably care about what you wear and how you present yourself, so hopefully you won't find that you are making too many of these mistakes! But in any case, Clinton gives valuable fashion tips, tailoring advice, and even make-up tips courtesy of Carmindy, the show's makeup artist. These are interspersed with comic takedowns of women who wear PJs to the supermarket (written as a screenplay), women who wear flip-flops outside the beach or pool setting, the dress that looks like a dish towel, and scary nail polish colors. So even if you find yourself being skewered for wearing that Disney World Minnie Mouse t-shirt, you'll be laughing.

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Yeah, it was a little mean December 9, 2010

By AmbersFinder

Format:Hardcover

I am sure that the snarky tone of the writing in this book was meant to be humorous, but because it is so unrelenting it just seems mean. I can only guess there are two audiences for this book: those who dress badly and want to be made to feel bad about themselves and those who dress stylishly and want to make fun of others. Many of the faux pas styles mentioned in the book I agree with and some I think he is wrong about, but they all seem to be delievered with the message that if you break the rules you are not a worthwhile human being. Here is a list of things he doesn't like:

the color pink
the color black
the color white
the color beige
a white shirt with a black pair of pants
solid colors of various colors worn on consecutive days
colored suits
rainbow mother rings bought at the mall
earings that match necklaces
You get the idea.

All of the people who wear these things get the same scathing treatment that he gives to those who wear visible thongs.