Customer Reviews

The Old Testament (Everyman's Library)

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OMFG this book is so freakin' boring. Do you have any idea how long this thing is? I do 'cause I looked it up: it's freakin' 1448 pages long. That's like Chaucer long, dude. I was so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so bored.

It starts off okay because there's like the Adam & Eve stuff and that's an okay story, yo how much would it suck if there was only like one chick in the whole world and she was kindof a bitch? That would suck, man! - and then there's the whole "Let my people go" bit which is cool because in my head that whole part is narrated by Cameron, Ferris Bueller's friend from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," but by the time you get to Leviticus stuff starts getting seriously honestly pretty weird. Did you know that you're not allowed to go anywhere near a woman on the rag because she's an abomination? And that's tough because I ride the subway, right? Who freakin' knows how many chicks might be abominating all over the place up in the subway? And from there things just get terrible. Numbers sucks just as bad as it sounds like it's going to, and don't even get me started on Deuteronomy. No seriously, don't; I quit halfway through Numbers.

You know what's a good book is "The Ruins" by Scott Smith. It sounds dumb because it's about like killer plants but it turns out to be pretty cool. You should read that.