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Omelet: A Tragedy of Bill Shake-a-speare [Kindle Edition]

David M. Brown
5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)

Kindle Price: $3.49
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  • Length: 192 pages (estimated)
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Book Description

To read or not to read....

If the Bard is sacred to you, either avoid this parody--a scene-by-scene mangled echo of "Hamlet"--at all costs or download it for your guilty e-reading pleasure whatever the cost (fortunately, it's just $3.49). 35,000 words.


POLTROONIUS: A few principles to guide thine acts is all. Here's the first. When in mixed company, don't babble, but be bold; restrained, not cold. When in company kind the like bewhich befriend, do not incur a devil pitch for stirrup to thy switch in sooth for brine. Be familiar, not a chum; courteous, not a crumb; or rather several crumbs but not a cake because that will...not a cake, no not, and never bundling bake. Never.

LIARTES: Father...that's good...I've got to get on that ship...that's great advice...

POLTROONIUS: Do not confer with ruthless curs for that will seem unsound. Do not a comely maiden ever pork upon the ground. Do not besmirk a jolly jerk his fumbling awkward frown. When beaten in a boxing match, avoid another round. If a king should lose his head, pray up his soul—then snag his crown. Rarely write a letter unless a courier's around. Nor promulgate a premise that could evolve into a menace. If your teeth turn bad, your gums all red, hie thee to a dentist. Neither a borrower nor a saver-and-loaner be, unless you've got collateral—and a big fat fee. Most of all, to thine own self be true, and it must followeth as dusk follow dawn that thou canst not then be false to—

LIARTES: Look, look, I have really, really, have really got to go!

Product Details

  • File Size: 383 KB
  • Print Length: 192 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B0063T8WOI
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,021,645 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Sendup of Hamlet! May 21, 2015
Verified Purchase
Omelet is a very funny sendup of Hamlet that is nearly as rich as the source material. The wordplay is superb and clever, and like the best comedy, its humor catches you by surprise. I usually don’t find myself laughing out loud, but this caught me off guard on many occasions. This play is crying out to be performed! It would be a lot of fun as an audience member, but it would be really incredible to actually learn these lines and perform them. When college drama clubs discover this, it will go viral.
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