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On Caring Paperback – September 28, 1990
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Caring requires effort: Knowing (many things about the other and ourself); Alternating Rhythms (incorporating feedback in our caring); Patience (I like his definition: 'Patience is not waiting passively for something to happen, but it is a kind of participation with the other in which we give fully of ourselves.'); Honesty; Trust (of ourself as well as of the other); Humility; Hope (as an expression of a present alive with possibilities); and Courage.
By caring for the other, we become actualized. By focusing on the process, we show our concern for the future through the care we take with what is present now.
Caring can give order and meaning to life, if the others we choose are inclusive enough. Then these others become what Mayeroff calls 'appropriate others' -- they enable us to be complete, 'somewhat as playing music enables the musician to be himself.' Appropriate others become a center around which our life can be ordered.
Mayeroff believed that through finding and helping to develop our appropriate others, we discover and create the meaning of our life.
There are two reasons I wanted to review On Caring. One, it is a wonderful book that has stayed with me since I first read it years ago. Two, when I read The Faithful Wife by Sigrid Undset, I marveled at how beautifully that book seemed to incorporate Mayeroff's ideas.
I will definitely give a copy to each of my children when the time is right.
I always try to live by these sayings, do unto others as you would have others do unto you and, what you reap is what you sow. To receive love you must give love. It is our life's cycle. At times in our life we are the doers, the givers, at other times takers, receivers.
To be the taker is not selfish but self actualization. It requires humility to accept love, especially when you are not feeling loveable. In these pages Milton Mayeroff gives us a philosophy of life in a nutshell.
It is a small book but nevertheless brings great comfort and peace to the soul.
Other powerful authors are Victor Frankl who wrote Man's Search for Meaning, Man's Search for Meaning Abraham Maslow, Religions, Values, and Peak Experiences and Rabbi Harold Kushner, When Bad Things Happen to Good People. When Bad Things Happen to Good People All powerful words filled with wisdom, life experiences and reality.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I first read this little gem by Mayeroff about forty years ago when I was preparing my doctoral dissertation in spirituality. Read morePublished on October 29, 2013 by Curmudgeon in the Kitchen
Everyone should read this book ..we would have a nicer more caring world. A classic! Parents should have teenagers read this little book.Published on July 25, 2013 by cathy wooley-brown
this is my favorite book on caring. it is easy to read and understand and is enlightening. Read it for yourself.Published on May 1, 2013 by Tonya N. Mochocki
I bought this for a class, but since I have read it I found it to be a very good read. It goes over how people should care about others, and I agree with most of what he lays out. Read morePublished on April 10, 2013 by L. Dawson
Boring, Boring, and Boring, however if you can get through reading the book the information seems a little more like common sense information.Published on February 6, 2013 by Vanessa Smith
Must admit that I was a colleague of Milton Mayeroff at the time he was writing the book and would meet him in the faculty coffee room to discuss it with him. Read morePublished on January 15, 2013 by Chas V