Customer Reviews

Once More With Love

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I have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to divorced, courting, and re/wedded couples since 1981. I am (a) 71, (b) a stepgrandson, stepson, and ex-stepfather and stepbrother, (c) an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America, (d) a contributing editor to 'Your Stepfamily Online,' and (e) the author of six personal-growth and family-relations books.

I recommend "Once more With Love" to courting partners who want a perceptive introduction to important surface issues in re/marriage. The "/" notes it may be one partner's first union. I do not recommend this book to any mate, student, or family professional seeking to understand and avoid the core causes of re/divorce - specially when prior kids are involved.

Like most authors in this genre, Bobbi Coyle-Hennessey misses four core hazards that (I believe) every re/married partner needs to know:

1) why and how to assess and reduce co-parents' psychological wounds from childhood (vs. divorce);

2) the origin and impacts of blocked grief in adults and kids, and how to spot and reduce it;

3) co-parent unawareness of five key topics: (a) normal personality formation, composition, and function; (b) keys to high-nurturance families and relationships, (c) effective communication skills, (d) healthy 3-level grief, and - for co-parents - (e) stepfamily realities and norms and implications. and...

4) little effective re/marital and co-parenting help (i.e. courtship coaching, classes, informed counseling, co-parent support groups) available in most communities and the media.

In my clincal experience since 1979, these factors will often block the best-intentioned adults from following well-meant re/marital advice in this and similar books. If ignored, the factors inexorably promote choosing the wrong people to re/wed, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time. That promotes subsequent stresses and psychological or legal re/divorce. Awareness, acceptance, and discussion of these and related) factors - specially before re/wedding - can reduce three of these stressors, and help to achieve healthy re/marriages and high-nurturance stepfamilies.

For more perspective on this review, see:

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