Customer Reviews

One Big Happy Family: 18 Writers Talk About Polyamory, Open Adoption, Mixed Marriage, Househusbandry, Single Motherhood, and Other Realities of Truly Modern Love

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

There is nothing more that the human animal longs for than acceptance. This can be hard to come by if you find yourself unable to march to the beat of the common drummer. I have long known that heterosexual, monogamous marriage was not for me. I have long admired families who have chosen their own roads over the ones they are shown. I have long wanted to hear of the stories of those who have found happiness and love not in following but instead in seeking. Finally those stories are here.

That is what this book is all about. One Big Happy Family is about the pursuit of love and family and wholeness with a blind eye to social convention. These writers made me feel at home. They helped me to remember that there is no "right" way to live and to love. They reminded me that living honestly is always more important than living in chains. And they taught me that although others may not accept me, my acceptance of myself is far more gratifying.

These are people who are present in their own lives, active in their own pursuits of love, and accountable for the paths they have chosen or crafted or discovered. We should all be so lucky.

Read this book. Find your way.

This is a really quick read and I've already recommended it to several friends - and would recommend it for anyone who has ever felt like their family or their idea of family is out of step with the "norm." The overwhelming sense that I brought away from this reading was that: every family is different, every approach is different, and every family is beautiful. Whether or not that is what the editor and authors intended, I do not know. But it was nice to feel like the polyamorous LGBT life that I am currently leading does not preclude me from starting my own hodge podge family a few years down the road.

Probably the most negative thing that I can say about this collection - and the only reason why it does not get five stars is that a solid group of the stories had this air of... smugness about them. As if, the way they had worked it out was the most ideal form of a family. Which is quite possible true (for them), but not something that needed to come across in their writing. One that was particularly guilty of this was Penn-Nabrit's "How Homeschooling Made Our Family More of What We Wanted it to Be" (which was my least favorite of the works in this anthology).
Jenny Block's "And Then We Were Poly" was, in typical Block fashion, funny and engaging though not without it's own sense of "this is the best way to do things."

The most interesting and heart warming ones, I thought, were "Woman Up" by asha bandele, "The Enemy Within" by Dan Savage, "This Old House" by Rebecca Berry, and "My First Husband" by Liz Monroy. (Though Monroy's piece left a few holes that I wish she had covered - for example, why was it so important for her to divorce him because of an apartment?)

All and all, an interesting, heartwarming read. It will make anyone outside of the American "nuclear family" "ideal" a little less alone in the world.

Finally there's a book out there for those of us who don't match the 1950's stereotypical family "norm." My partner and I are buying a copy for our parents who have never really understood or accepted our long-term relationship and decision to adopt. We are a 21st century family, and this is a 21st century book that will change your mind about what constitutes a family. Thanks Rebecca for once again leading the way - Black, White and Jewish was the start of my journey towards wholeness.

One Big Happy Family is a fascinating collection of essays about family. Part of what makes the essays so compelling is the fact that they force the reader to confront what well may be "the conspicuous other" in his or her own voice. That doesn't mean there will be a universal acceptance of all the myriad forms of family presented - quite the contrary. I am certain that many readers may be shocked at some of the family structures presented, which is fine. We need not approve or agree with all the ways our fellow citizens choose to create family, but it is important to hear their voices in the description of those creations. All too often we hear of families, not from the families' members, but from others describing them. These second and third- hand descriptions lend themselves to inaccuracies. Could someone else, even a well-meaning someone else describe your family as well as you or one of the other members? Get a copy of One Big Happy Family and read first-hand accounts on the enormous diversity of families-written by those families' members; it's a "must read" and I'm certain you'll be fascinated!

It is an honor to be part of this stellar collection with so many gifted, insightful writers! Rebecca has done a terrific job of painting a picture of how diverse love can be and how many, many ways there are of building happy, strong families. As a mom in a homeschooling, interfaith, open adoption, transracial family, this book really speaks to my experiences!

I can understand why the one reviewer mentioned being disappointed by the book after the "tease" of the intro poly story. If that's what you're looking for, this isn't the book for you. (You might try reading the rest of the story in Jenny Block's book "Open" but it isn't that graphic really either.)

This book *is* a great sample of lots of different types of family. I enjoyed reading about them even if I wouldn't want to live in them. Other reviewers have mentioned specifics about the different family styles covered so I won't go into that.

I will say that the best thing I got out of the book was that it's a great introduction to some really interesting writers. After reading this book, I went on to read the rest of Jenny Block's story in her book Open, asha bandele's The Prisoner's Wife and Something Like Beautiful, Not Buying it by Judith Levine and that's just the beginning. This book was a great way to get a taste of different authors before sinking the time (and/or money) into a full book by them.

I highly recommend this book!

I really enjoyed this book. I read it in one sitting. With the exception of one entry, the entries were all very well written and engaging.

There were some family types missing (mega-families, foster families, older child adoption)that I think would have made things more interesting but the families included were all good choices so I can't complain too much.

I give this book 5 stars!

Dena

This book was truly an amazing collection of essays about what it means to be a family. The 18 essays created 18 perfect examples of what family is truly about: love. It just goes to show that whether in a polyamorous relationship or a single mother dealing with raising a child on her own, where there is love, there is a family. There were many interesting relationships explored in this book, including a great one about two sister's that end up in couple's therapy, but one type of situation I felt was missing was the relationships between stepparents and stepchildren. Other than that, it was truly a great, and refreshing read.

I feel cheated. Maybe it was the good reviews or the excellent teaser, "And Then We Were Poly," by Jenny Block, but I feel I was lead astray. I got this book downloaded to my Kindle for a weekend treat, and I'm sorely dissappointed. About 25% of the book was exciting and thought provoking, but the rest was a bit like watching Aunt Gertrude's slide show of her 1970 vaction to Japan. It was a bunch of writers droning on about their own life experiences - which may be profound to them, but in this reality TV / Shock Jock world, little of it was what I'd call unique or interesting. The best part of this book is the first story of Jenny Block. Read it for free and continue shopping for something with a bit more meat.