Sometimes a conflict is more than a simple disagreement--it's a virtual clash of worldviews, and the disagreement appears impossible to resolve because it seems inconceivable to consider the issue from any perspective other than the one you know to be correct. Thus, the title of the book... One of Us Must Be Crazy... and I'm Pretty Sure It's You.
In this companion to Fight Fair! (a treatise on "winning at conflict without losing at love"), Tim and Joy Downs capture the heart of marital differences. This time they concentrate less on how to fight fair, and more on making sense of the differences that divide us. With marriages coming under attack from seemingly every angle these days, conflict is seen as grounds to end a marriage, rather than an opportunity to grow closer to each other and to God. One of Us Must Be Crazy... and I'm Pretty Sure It's You is a unique and manageable resource for equipping couples to learn the true nature of their conflicts and deal with them in a way that will actually help their marital fulfillment. By interacting candidly and honestly with such issues as security, loyalty, responsibility, caring, order, openness, and connection, Tim and Joy Downs have created a resource that might simply make all the difference in your world.
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Conflict is common to all marriages. What MOST marriages don't have is a blueprint for resolving conflict when it occurs. Tim and Joy not only share with you THE most effective blueprint, but they will give you the practical tools and coaching needed in marriages today. Buy and apply this book! It'll revolutionize your relationship.
Dr. Dennis Rainey
President
FamilyLife
"Conflict either makes love better or causes it to turn bitter. Tim and Joy Downs' book is a GPS for couples who want a safe and passable route through the maze of married couple conflict."
Dr. Tim Kimmel author of Grace Based Parenting
About the Author
TIM DOWNS is a Phi Beta Kappa graduate of Indiana University in Graphic Design. After graduation in 1976 he created a comic strip, Downstown, which was syndicated by Universal Press Syndicate. His cartooning has appeared in more than a hundred newspapers worldwide. In 1979 he joined the staff of Campus Crusade for Christ, where he founded and directed the Communication Center, a communication training facility. He continues to serve as a speaker and writer. He and his wife, Joy, have spoken at FamilyLife Marriage and Parenting Conferences since 1985. He is author of First the Dead, Less Than Dead, Chop Shop, Head Game, Plague Maker, Shoo Fly Pie, and Finding Common Ground, which was awarded the Gold Medallion Award in 2000. He is also co-author of Fight Fair and The Seven Conflicts: Resolving the Most Common Disagreements in Marriage along with his wife Joy. Tim lives in Cary, North Carolina, with his wife and three children.
JOY DOWNS is a 1979 graduate of Indiana University in Journalism. After graduation, she joined the staff of Campus Crusade for Christ where she served as a radio writer and producer and helped direct the Communication Center, a communication training facility of Campus Crusade. Joy and her husband, Tim, have spoken at FamilyLife Marriage and Parenting Conferences. Together they have co-authored two books entitled The Seven Conflicts: Resolving the Most Common Disagreements in Marriage and Fight Fair!: Winning at Conflict without Losing at Love. Joy lives in Cary, North Carolina, with her husband and three children.
Product Details
Paperback: 176 pages
Publisher: Moody Publishers; New Edition edition (June 14, 2010)
Tim Downs is a Phi Beta Kappa graduate of Indiana University. After graduation in 1976 he created a daily comic strip, Downstown, which was syndicated by Universal Press Syndicate (Doonesbury, Calvin & Hobbes, The Far Side) from 1980 to 1986. His cartooning has appeared in newspapers and magazines worldwide. Tim has written eight novels in the mystery/suspense genre, beginning with Shoofly Pie (2003) and Chop Shop (2004). His third novel, PlagueMaker, was awarded the Christy award as the best CBA mystery/suspense novel of 2006. His fourth novel, Head Game, was released in January of 2007, followed by First the Dead (2008), Less than Dead (2008), Ends of the Earth (2009), and Wonders Never Cease (May 2010). His hobbies include woodworking, design, and writing about himself in the third person. Tim lives in Cary, North Carolina, with his beautiful wife Joy. They have three grown children.
Did I tell you my husband was weird and I am the normal one in the relationship? I know this to be true. It is evident in almost every discussion, or uh!, argument disagreement we sometimes have.
There are conflicts in all aspects of life. We face them daily at work, at the grocery store, in traffic, and with the people who reside with us most closely within the confines of our homes. Disagreements with your spouse can seem to be the most unsettling. We wonder how this individual we are married to can think such things that vary so much from our view?!? What should or could be a simple disagreement can at times became what seems more like the initiation of a nuclear war. There are times I just know he is wrong and I am right. There needs to be no further discussion, because I know! He must be crazy to think anything less...right? Well, right?? This is why I am sure One of Us Must Be Crazy... and I'm Pretty Sure It's You (him, not me!).
One of Us Must Be Crazy... and I'm Pretty Sure It's You, written by Tim and Joy Downs, is a companion book from the original Fight Fair! In the Fight Fair! Book, the authors teach a couple how to make peace in moments of discord without losing the marriage in the win. All marriages are made differently and it is the differences that merge and meld a couple into a unified entity. Fight Fair! did focus on how a couple could remaining love and keep a marriage intact, by fair fighting or fair disagreements. One of Us Must Be Crazy... and I'm Pretty Sure It's You goes a step beyond fighting fairly to focus on how couples may understand their differences and use them to see the differences as values and not fighting points. The authors note that this latest book release is about "making sense of the differences that divide us."
I was amazed at the authenticity I found within the covers of this book. I was able to resonate with some of the stories told and compare them with events in my own marriage. It really does seem as if something tries to hack away at the walls of protection of a marriage daily. The world and secular means are just the beginning. I read this book thinking of it from a personal aspect only. My plan is to reread the book over the next few weeks with a fresh eye from the point of view of a couple and to discuss with my spouse some of the aspects the authors present. I feel like this book could be used as a conversation starter for many married couples to help them grow or become closer to one another and to God. This book is a resource that will not be just shelved after it is read...I will return to it for the value of what it contains within the pages. I think it is a worthwhile read and resource for any married couple to have.
I wish I could say this book was great, but I think maybe I am getting to the point where these sort of books aren't the "cure all" that they claim to be. It was a good book, and my husband and I made a great effort to read it together, but we found ourselves thinking it wasn't doing anything but giving us an excuse to critique it. Maybe we just didn't need to read it :)
Was looking for a book on conflict resolution and purchased this one to have a look. This book is GREAT! It carefully explains why disagreements happen. I do not read very often but I couldn't put this book down.
