A feisty, heartening, eloquent anatomy of being on one’s own.
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Book Description
Editorial Reviews
From Publishers Weekly
Holland ( Secrets of the Cat ) seemingly never got over her divorce of some years ago. In a book so melancholic it's a downer, she reflects on the single state, offering such banalities as "Doing is important. We are what we do." On the occasions when she does take an upbeat position, invariably she counters it with an "on the other hand" observation: she notes that solitaries have more opportunities for expanding their social circle, for example, then admits meeting people who aren't troubled is a problem. Solitaries--i.e., women without men--often don't understand the machinery of their surroundings, determines Holland, so she instructs them on how to repair a lock and change a fuse; because she thinks they don't eat properly, she offers recipes for dishes like tamale pie. Solitaries, Holland assumes, flounder, need ways to "fasten themselves to the world," want guidance on how to make the afternoon pass. Those with time on their hands, however, would do better not to look to Holland to fill it.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
From Kirkus Reviews
Holland (Hail to the Chiefs, 1990, etc.) wages an uphill battle against loneliness for widows, divorc‚es, and the aging. The author, divorced, has lived alone and put away scraps of thought about her situation for years. Now she ties them together, opening with some wise saws from Samuel Johnson, William Cowper, and self-helper John Bradshaw, who tells her, ``We cannot have an identity all alone. Our reality is shaped from the beginning by a relationship.'' Holland finds that statistics show that, by age 65, 45 percent of women live alone, and that ``a woman's standard of living plunges by about 70 percent after divorce, while her husband's jumps by 30 or 40 percent. Add children, and we're talking serious penny-pinching.'' The author shows her female readers how to save money by installing new cylinders in door locks (it costs about $100 for a locksmith to do it), and reveals the dread mysteries of a house or apartment's electrical system. Sometimes one's health comes second to lifting the blues, as in this recipe: ``For severe depression and occasions of grief and loss: NO DINNER: Bring home a bag full of apples, nuts, cheese, crackers, grapes, oatmeal cookies, muffins, and popcorn. Put these out in bowls here and there, anywhere except where you usually sit down to eat. Pick at in passing.'' Holland talks about work, play, anxiety, and offers some alternatives about how to live ``merry and fruitful, loving and brave,'' and how to become ``full citizens with our thumbs in our pockets, whistling.'' Which really is pretty Whitmanesque--and not a bad way to go. A gift book that may help, disturb, and delight--though the generalities at times are like elevator stairs gone flat. -- Copyright ©1992, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.
--This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
One's Company: Reflections On Living Alone,
By Sher (Grand Rapids, MI USA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: One's Company: Reflections On Living Alone (Paperback)
I'm currently holding a Barbara Holland festival--again. I've bought seven of her books, and the one I usually revisit first is "One's Company." Living alone can give you some serious things to think about. It hadn't occurred to me, for instance, that I might ever want to change a lock; here was an older sister taking my situation in hand and walking me through it with details I'd need to know: which way does the keyhole fit? What are all those scored lines and why do I need to pay attention to them? If you've ever had to ask someone where a certain tool is, and then endure their doing the project for you (possibly damaging something upon installation, which you will have to look at a dozen times a day for years), you are relieved at that point to take over and find your own way with the necessary tasks of life.Okay, it must be obvious that I'm three books into the Holland-fest; my language is taking on a tinge, isn't it? But I love the way she writes as much as I love the way she thinks. Oh, ask me about "Endangered Pleasures" or "Wasn't the Grass Greener?" I'm wallowing in Holland's books right now, and just wish I could thank her heartily for writing them. I like to think we'd sit at the table for hours.
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
---Unconventional, Memorable and Well Worth Reading---,
By
This review is from: One's Company: Reflections On Living Alone (Paperback)
Barbara Holland died on September 19, 2010. She was an acquaintance and lived in our area, but not very close to us. Barbara was a guest speaker at our small neighborhood book club meetings several times, twice in my home. She had authored about 15 books on a variety of subjects. Her writing was very unique.Our small group loved having her attend our meetings. She spoke about her books and enlightened us about what she was thinking when she wrote the particular book under discussion. She enjoyed her cigarettes and a glass of something good to drink, she favored scotch. She was witty, very bright and kept us entertained with her many stories. She would autograph our books and sometimes bring extra copies of her other titles which we could buy. Her visits made for some of our most memorable meetings. I ran into her occasionally, but had no other contact with her. I was thinking about her recently and decided to read One's Company, Reflections on Living Alone. Barbara had written the book in 1992. I was overwhelmed by what she had written. The book is all about dealing with living alone. Who will fix the broken appliances, bring you hot tea when you have a cold, or just care about you? How sad it would be to go home to a lonely house and wished someone you loved was there to greet you. Yes, you will find the amusing quips which Barbara delivered so well, but you'll also feel her loneliness. It made me think of so many people that live a solitary lifestyle. It never occurred to me until now that we should have invited Barbara to all of our book club meetings. Maybe she wouldn't have come, but maybe she would have been pleased, and accepted the invitation. I guess I'll never know. Her story is entertaining and sad, but I learned a lot and I'm so glad that I took the time to remember Barbara and read ONE'S COMPANY.
4.0 out of 5 stars
Read It and Understand...,
By Amelah (PA) - See all my reviews
This review is from: One's Company: Reflections On Living Alone (Paperback)
Having found this book, I let it sit for awhile, reluctant to open it, expecting to read yet another painful book on how to conduct my life. Instead, I was surprised to find a book that resonated with my life experience, putting into words that which I could not describe. What relief!Through keen observation & wit, Ms. Holland does an excellent job of describing the difference between voluntary & involuntary loneliness and the results of such imprisonment. The chapter on food and shelter is so astute, I've been quoting passages from it: explaining to others (who also insist that they are lonely) of the kind of loneliness that comes from dining alone vs. ordering takeout & sitting in the safe confines of my small space, preparing a meal for one, and food that tastes of sadness. Finally! Someone who understands what I've known for a long time! I also enjoyed Ms. Holland's perceptive humor re. fears of food that may cause or prevent illness, as determined by the fickle watchdog groups: "They keep changing the rules. We have to stay alert, and read the papers daily to update our food phobias." Ain't it the truth, tho'? Gave me a good chuckle. As much as I love her philosophical musings, I did not really connect with the chapter on anxiety, trivializing all fear to fear of the criminal out there. The illusion of safety in numbers can provide a false sense of security. So I disagree with Ms. Holland's assessment here. And the chapter on fixing doorknobs is a waste of paper. Skip over it. It felt like Ms. Holland had a sudden urge to turn her book into a "how-to" manual. I felt like Ms. Holland really understood some of the visceral pain of loneliness (which is Not the same as Solitude), and put into words that which is usually undefinable. One could choose to be alone on Thanksgiving, if they don't want to deal with their relatives, & feel satisfaction in finding something to do to nurture their soul. But when One finds themselves alone, when all those relatives are no longer alive, it's a very different kettle of fish. And Ms. Holland's book becomes a strange sort of balm for that experience. I just wish she offered up more pro-active solutions. Maybe I was looking for a self-help book afterall ;)
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