The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own [Mass Market Paperback]

Periel Aschenbrand (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 4, 2005

Periel Aschenbrand loathes Internet dating, Republicans, TV, junk food, and stockbrokers. She is twenty-eight years old, lives in New York and Los Angeles, accessorizes Dolce & Gabbana with a "F*ck Bush" necklace, and wakes up every morning to a double espresso with a "splash" of 2% milk. Predictable and pretentious, right? Wrong.

Periel Aschenbrand is also best friends with a Mormon, waits tables in Spanish Harlem, flirts with New York City cops, enjoys a good lap dance, gets revenge on snotty salespeople in an unconventional manner, and stayed in constant cell phone communication with her mother while protesting in her underwear at the Republican National Convention. "Are you provoking any policemen? You could be put in jail and get physically hurt by crack addicts who would see you as bait."

In a refreshing nonfiction debut that's never sanitized or slick, Periel delivers raunchy and hilarious truths about sex, politics, and how best to inspire the youth of America.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Aschenbrand, who founded the T-shirt business, Body as Billboard, and identifies herself as "half Israeli and half New York Jew," shares some of her thoughts about the world, which-apart from the left-wing slogans-feature the type of humor appreciated by Howard Stern fans. Many of Aschenbrand's opinions pertain to religion. For example, she can't believe a friend is a Mormon: "I was like, insofar as I'm concerned, the Mormon missionaries are like serial killers in that they prey on people weaker than themselves." Christians? The "pope knows that God doesn't exist. That's the secret of his fucking power." At the airport, she won't board her flight because there's a "tall shady-looking fucking Arab who looks like a terrorist" in line. Aschenbrand also explains how she came up with the idea for her T-shirt business. "We should use our tits to make people think," she thought, so she printed up shirts with slogans like "drug dealer" for an organization that raises money to send AIDS medication to children in Africa. Readers may also enjoy Aschenbrand's witty confrontations with her mom over anal sex and her suspicions that her proctologist is aroused by examining her... Or maybe they'll just want to buy the T-shirt.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Periel Aschenbrand identifies herself as half Israeli and half New York Jew. She founded a politically oriented T-shirt company called Body as Billboard, which she hopes will continue to serve those who find it unappealing to be walking advertisements for corporate America. She also has a soft spot for James Baldwin, Monique Wittig, Larry Kramer, Gore Vidal, true crime novels, and pugs.

Product Details

• Reading level: Ages 18 and up
  
• Mass Market Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: Tarcher (August 4, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 158542420X
• ISBN-13: 978-1585424207
• Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 4.8 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 3.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,365,354 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

58 of 65 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Reads like a book deal gone wrong..., September 21, 2005

By 

M. J KILLEEN (Collingdale, PA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own (Mass Market Paperback)

I read this in its entirety one night in an airport while my flight was delayed. I'll assume some literary agent was impressed with what a free-spirited opinionated character Aschenbrand was, and offered her a book deal. The result is mildly entertaining - but an awful lot like reading a blog. It doesn't say much, uses amateurish style, and only occasionally makes you laugh. (I dig the cover, however)

52 of 61 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Still waiting to start laughing., September 29, 2005

By 

Robert P. Beveridge "xterminal" (Lakewood, OH) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own (Mass Market Paperback)

Periel Aschenbrand, The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own (Tarcher, 2005)

With all the good advance press this book got and the initial rave reviews, I'm not sure what I was expecting. Actually, I am; I was expecting this book to be funny.

Tarcher's back-cover copy describes Aschenbrand's debut (which sits somewhere between memoir and attempted standup) as "raunchy and hilarious," when in fact it's neither. There's a very, very big difference between "raunchy" and "obscenity for obscenity's sake." I've never been one to use the old saw about using profanity when you have nothing better to say, but it really does seem to apply here. It's not in the least offensive or shocking (or even amusing, as "raunchy" would tend to imply)m it's just there, taking up space, as if Aschenbrand had a word quota and couldn't find another way to fill it up. As for the humor part, I'm going to guess that some of this is wildly funny if you've been up all night drinking cheap tequila and telling dead baby jokes, but in the cold light of sobriety, I kept waiting for a single chuckle. (I admit, I did find one roundabout page forty-eight.)

I really can't come up with a better word than "awful." (zero)

24 of 31 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Grossed out after the first two chapters, January 3, 2006

By 

Tina McG "Tina McG" (Kansas City) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Only Bush I Trust Is My Own (Mass Market Paperback)

My husband bought this book for me, presumably because he thought it was a humorous political commentary. In fact, this waste of paper and ink now sits in the trash bin. I couldn't make it to the third chapter before feeling like taking a shower. In very short order, I realized this author is not someone I could spend five minutes without feeling like slapping her. She's self-absorbed and writes in immature mall-rat language. This book is a collosal waste of time and seriously misses the humor mark.

She is no J.D. Salinger, that's for sure.