Customer Reviews

The Only Child: Being One, Loving One, Understanding One, Raising One

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Darrell Sifford's book "The Only Child: Being one, Loving one, Understanding one, Raising one" is magnificiant! I first read this book for personal interest and now am again reading it for a psychology project. Sifford gives an indepth, yet light-hearted, look at the lives of only children. Being an only child myself, I was able to relate to much of this book and when finished I felt more complete. This book truley gives justice to only children and both their triumphs and struggles. Not only does this book provide many self-enlightening stories, but also dedicates chapters to raising and marrying an only child. I reccomend this book to anyone who is an only child, parents an only child OR marries an only child. Sometimes the best way to understand why people are who they are is to look at them from a different light. Sifford shows that it is OK for me to be me, perfectionistic as I may be. Some say one is a lonely number but when living as an only child it may be seen as the best number of all, and Sifford proves that.

I was hugely disappointed by this book. The premises are excellent, and I read it in the hope of gaining some insights into parenting my daughter (who will be an only child). I did not receive anything of the kind! There were chapters about a jailbird who was an only child, an only child who was molested by her mother, only children with eating orders, and MUCH attention paid to only children who grew to become perfectionist workaholics. I wasn't sure whether to cry or to laugh out loud! The approach to parenting was outdated (particularly with gender stereotyping) and I can't think of one piece of advice that was helpful to me. I read the first half, and only skimmed the second half, paying close attention to the parenting section...but came away with nothing. I feel sorry for the author that he needed such a public outlet for his feelings about being an only child...and I'm a bit embarrassed for him.

I grew up as an only child as this book accurately reflects the thoughts and feelings I had growing up and now today as an adult. I found myself laughing and sometime crying because I had many of the same experiences and the author. The book was given to me by my spouse and helped me look at myself and the things that I do which may adversely affect others.

The author has both depth and simplicity. Many examples are used to bring even better clarity to readers. The author includes enough personal experiences to be realistic and authentic. Points of view shared include female and male ideas. One of my daughters-in-law is an only child. From this book I have gained a greater understanding of her relationships to her family of origin and her expectations of her husband and of me. I read the book with gratitude and ah-ha! moments.

I read this book because I am an only child and am curious about the literature on being and/or having an only child. I was disappointed in this book because Sifford takes his experience (an only child by choice whose parents loved him and praised him to the nth degree) to prove a lot of the stereotypes (i.e. an only child is lonely, spoiled) while showing little or no examples of children who grew up in different households. For example, there are 9 chapters (of 12) which uphold the stereotypes and 1 chapter which does not. Even within chapters, he gives maybe 1 or 2 examples of children who grew up differently from him out of hundreds which support his point of view. I wish he had been more balanced in presenting the book.

Ugh. I bought this book b/c my child will be an "only," and I hoped for some input on how to avoid some of the stereotypes attached to only children. Instead, the author seemed intent on using this book as his personal journal through which he explored his own issues from childhood. [yawn] It got pretty annoying pretty fast.

The author starts out by trying to say that the stereotypes about only children aren't necessarily true, and he gives a good argument that sometimes children develop traits for reasons other than their lack of siblings. He suggests that some stereotypes exist because -- once it's discovered that a child is an only -- people stop looking for OTHER reasons that a trait or a situation might have developed.

Unfortunately, after this promising beginning, the author blathers on interminably with a series of "I have <whatever> characteristic, and it's because I was an only child." And we have to read about his perfectionist tendencies and how he wept on his wife's shoulder about how he struggled with them. [yawn]

All in all, I thought this book was useless, except maybe as a catharsis for the author's own shortcomings. [sigh] It certainly didn't offer any practical advice for raising an only child or addressing some of the pitfalls they face.

As an "only child" raising an only child, I found this book very insightful and thought provoking. It gives the parents of an only a lot of issues to think about and evaluate. If you are looking for a specific fix for a specific problem, this is not the book for you. However, if you are raising an only child and want to know what issues you need to address, this is a book for you. Also, I think that being an only makes you realize how sensitive and important the issues this author discusses are. If you're not an only child yourself, you may not be aware of how these issues will affect and define your only child.

This book is very good at identifying the feelings and the subsequent behaviors associated with being an only child. I felt a sense of relief when the author characterized the wide range of pluses and minuses of being an only child. After reading this book, I feel I can accept myself for who I am and therefore, feel more comfortable with myself. I was disappointed in this book, not for it's contents but more for the arrangement, sentence structure, and grammar. The flow of reading was below average because there were unnecessary commas in sentences as well as separation of paragraphs when it was not necessary. The whole book seemed more like a personal journal where a person rambles with thoughts and feeling without much organization.

The contents was good but the flow of reading was disappointing. There were commas where it didn't need it, there were new paragraphs when it wasn't necessary, and it the book seemed more like a personal journal where thoughts and feeling are written down without any organization. On the admirable note, the author did identify some key aspects of being an only child and has called to attention the pluses as well as the minuses. I do recommend this reading for any only child and whoever plans to marry one or have one.