Only Child: Writers on the Singular Joys and Solitary Sorrows of Growing Up Solo [Paperback]

Deborah Siegel (Editor), Daphne Uviller (Editor)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 26, 2008

What is it really like to be an only child?

In this insightful and entertaining collection, writers including Judith Thurman, Kathryn Harrison, John Hodgman, and Peter Ho Davies reflect on a lifetime of being an only. They describe what it’s like to be an only child of divorce, an only because of the death of a sibling, an only who reveled in it, or an only who didn’t. As adults searching for partners, they are faced with the unique challenge of trying to turn their family units of three into units of four, and as they watch their parents age, they come face-to-face with the onus of being their families’ sole historians.

Whether you’re an only child, the partner or spouse of an only, a parent pondering whether to stop at one, or a curious sibling, Only Child offers a look behind the scenes and into the hearts of twenty-one smart and sensitive writers as they reveal the truth about growing up–and being a grown-up–solo.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Kathryn Harris (The Kiss), John Hodgman (The Areas of My Expertise) and the New Yorker's Janice Thurman (Isak Dinesen) are just three of the noteworthy writers who contributed to this collection of essays on growing up sans siblings. Editors Siegel and Uviller have gathered the 20 original pieces into general themes: childhood, family relationships, the desire-or lack thereof-for a sibling and the unique joys and perils of being an adult "only." The gems of this volume are the authors who trade analysis for storytelling, such as magician and author Teller's life-affirming "New Year's Eve 1997," Peter Terzian's "Postcards to Myself," Rebecca Walker's "Blood of my Blood" and Alysia Abbott's "A Pair of Onlies." Though other entries are weighed down by too much therapy-speak, some provide resonant psychological insight, as in Sara Reistad-Long's: "Having Mom and Dad waiting in the wings had made me appear enviably confident, but I suspect that when my supporting cast takes its final bow, I'll stumble more than most." Though the book's topic proves too narrow to sustain its nearly 300 pages-as Thomas Beller notes, it's "hard to know how to separate the only from the childhood"-many only children, as well as those who sometimes wish they were, will find much to appreciate in this volume.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

“Some of the onlies loathed their solitary state . . . Others reveled in the spotlight . . . But most of the entries fall somewhere in between–contented but bittersweet.”
—New York Times

“The dueling characteristics of the only child–lonely or independent? precocious or smart-mouthed? clingy or loyal?–[are] the makings . . . of a collection of twenty-one essays by various writers exploring the pleasures and paucity of a life without siblings.”
—New York Observer

“(H)onest, insightful and entertaining…these diverse essays play exceedingly well together.”
—Time Out New York

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press (February 26, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0307238075
• ISBN-13: 978-0307238078
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.6 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #307,950 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Treatment of the Topic, January 2, 2007

By 

Spinspin (Big Apple USA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Only Child: Writers on the Singular Joys and Solitary Sorrows of Growing Up Solo, 1st Edition (Hardcover)

What a terrific collection of essays! The editors, only children themselves, and their contributors have tilted the subject this way and that, shining light on the many facets of being a singleton. But the treatment isn't overly ponderous--it can be downright funny. Uviller's own essay begins with the story of a teenage sexual escapade that is a thoroughly enjoyable side-splitter. Then the slapstick takes on real meaning as the author deftly re-imagines her parental interactions through the lens of a larger family. An article by Lynn Harris is also full of funny moments amid a very straight-forward treatment of the microscope-effect that I remember so well from my own singleton childhood.
This is not another "how to" book about parenting, thankfully, but any parent who was an only child or may parent one will find something useful here. So many of us have moved beyond that part of life where birth order was of daily importance to a new place where it again matters. Part III of the book deals specifically with the parenting angle. My favorite was Nimura's "Mother of Two," about the roller-coaster ride of watching the emerging sibling relationships she'd never experienced as a child.
The 19 different voices in this collection keep the topic fresh and interesting. I highly recommend this book!

14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars wonderful, January 23, 2007

By 

Elisha Cooper (chicago) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Only Child: Writers on the Singular Joys and Solitary Sorrows of Growing Up Solo, 1st Edition (Hardcover)

This is a wonderful collection of essays. Buy it, buy it, buy it. Even if you are not an only-child or have never thought about the issues of only-childhood, buy it. Buy it because of the writing. The writers in this book could be writing about navel lint, but that would still be a collection I would get.

The essays are both poignant and hilarious, and often both. In fact, the two seem twined. Of particular note is the essay by Daphne Uviller, writing about `Laurie' the sibling she never had, whose absence both enabled her early sex life, and made her value her friends and husband during the passing of her father. Janice Nimura's essay is smart and touching, John Hodgman's made me laugh out loud. Tom Beller's essay is lovely.

There's a certain irony to having assembled a group of only-children writers. This book is packed with twenty-one entertaining siblings, one cool family.

20 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars An Only reviewing a book on Onlies...., July 3, 2007

By 

Katherine Cail "kcail" (louisville, ky) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Only Child: Writers on the Singular Joys and Solitary Sorrows of Growing Up Solo, 1st Edition (Hardcover)

I am an only child myself, and have an only child daughter. I bought this book as the begining my introspection into my own experience as an only child.

Let me say this-- this book will relate to only children very well except for the following points:
1) The majority authors appear to be native (born/raised/etc.) New Yorkers. I feel there was a lack of variety in writing experience from other parts of the country.
2) I had a hard time relating to growing up in NYC stories- appartments, flats etc. I'm a midwestern girl who had space (luckily).
3)Nearly all the authors went to shrinks and therapists at some time in their life to deal with their parents.
4) All of them had traumatic dating experiences on par with the best soap operas.

I feel that people from sibling households who read this will think we Onlies are a bunch of whiney, wet-noodle loosers who are weak.

As I said, I am an only and while I can identify with the writers (and some are very dry, amusing and occasionally bitter) I cannot say that I regret my only status at all. Sure, life has rough spots for anyone, but the way I was raised- I turned out O.K., traveled extensively from where I'm born, didn't need a therapist and I have a great husband and friends.

We are not melodramatic, spoiled people.

It's light reading, but I wish the editors had solicited essay from a wider cadre of Onlies- like non-professional writers from across the country.

I give the book a 3 1/2 really...

Kathy Cail