Only a Mother Could Love Him: My Life with and Triumph over ADD [Hardcover]

Benjamin Polis (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 29, 2009

For all parents who have ever cried in despair over their hyperactive, impulsive, and seemingly uncontrollable child; for every teacher who’s ever vented frustration at a student who just won’t pay attention; for every kid who has ever asked himself, Why does everyone hate me?–help is here. Only a Mother Could Love Him is a remarkable look inside the mind of a person with ADD/ADHD. Ben Polis attended six different schools, served over three thousand hours of detention, and drove his family into counseling. But through great determination and the use of self-taught concentration techniques, Ben not only graduated high school but also attended a competitive university.

Ben describes what it’s really like to feel those constant impulses, to get all that medication, to desperately want to be “normal.” In addition, he offers lots of valuable advice to parents, including

• finding what forms of discipline will work–and what will never work
• surviving the daily homework struggle
• medicating or seeking other methods of treatment
• teaching your ADD/ADHD child to read

Only a Mother Could Love Him is a much-needed salve for parents and kids who feel isolated, depressed, and confused. From schoolwork to exercise to drugs, Ben Polis has important insights to share–and a message of hope that will warm the hearts of those suffering the most.


From the Trade Paperback edition.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Diagnosed at age eight with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), Australian Polis bullies classmates, downs a power line with a fishing spear on a family vacation and is suspended for stunts like molding a face that resembles a penis in art class. "ADHD kids just don't understand the concept of being subtle," he observes. The first two-thirds of this book, written when Polis was 19, recall his harrowing school days and family life in Melbourne. The last third, written more recently (he's now 23), is more a primer for parents of ADHD kids, particularly boys. Now better able to cope, Polis discusses how and when to use medication, how to teach ADHD children to enjoy reading, and other related issues. Many of Polis's former teachers and classmates are surprised that he graduated from college and is now an author. "It only took six schools, five thousand detentions, three hundred days of suspension and a case of Ritalin," he says dryly. He also had a supportive family, good private school teachers and a caring psychiatrist. There are many guides to managing ADHD, but this powerful inside account is unique.
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From Booklist

The title conjures grandmothers whispering together, for it suggests being born in an era when such terms as special needs child didn't exist. Yet Polis, now 19, was such a child, a hard-to-manage boy with attention deficit disorder. His story, one of great hope, tallies the many different schools he attended and the thousands of hours of detention he served as a boy whom teachers labeled problem and who couldn't read a short sentence until he was 11. But he went on to graduate from high school, attend a university, and write this book to supplement medical texts on ADD/ADHD by showing how he overcomes everyday problems in everyday situations. If his early history of distractibility and impulsiveness includes such horrors as, at age four, crushing a neighbor's dog during an ill-fated Evel Knievel stunt (one of several behaviors that drove his entire family into therapy), it yields to strategies for success that will help health-care professionals and lay persons alike, no less here than it has in Polis' homeland, Australia. Whitney Scott
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 208 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books (September 29, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345471881
• ISBN-13: 978-0345471888
• Shipping Weight: 12.5 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,776,279 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Among the top two ADHD/ADD books, October 14, 2003

By 

John Faughnan "John G Faughnan" (St. Paul, MN USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Only a Mother Could Love Him - My Story - How I lived with A.D.D. and Overcame It! (Paperback)

My wife and I are both physicians who've managed children with ADD/ADHD, but our professional experience is dwarfed by our personal experience.

In this domain we are experts.

There are two books that stand out amongst all the hundreds we've scanned and the dozens we've studied. One is 'The Explosive Child' by Ross Greene.

The other is this book. It's not the best organized or structured book; it's a bit scattered and tangential. It's speculative in places and not "evidence based". The writer is not as polished as Greene, the style is more like a business book than an academic book. All which is to say that the author writes like he really does have ADHD.

No matter, the book works. It's the best source of ideas and insight we've come across in years. I'm particularly intrigued by the focus on deficits in working memory; I think he's right about the importance of this particular disability and it's not been a major topic of research until recently.

It's also very optimistic and encouraging for parents and family. A quick read, I'd recommend buying copies for teachers and grandparents.

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent advice for parents of ADHD kids, November 2, 2003

By A Customer

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Only a Mother Could Love Him - My Story - How I lived with A.D.D. and Overcame It! (Paperback)

now that I have read this book, i can wholeheartedly recommend it to other parents. Our two sons have ADD and have exhibited some (but not all) of the behaviors described in this book. Fortunately we did not have the problems with violence he describes. However, one of our sons became a champion wrestler and I think this was an excellent outlet for him. As Benjamin says, individual sports are very important for the ADD student.

He describes problems in school that accurately reflect our sons' school careers. Excellent grades on tests, next to no homework done, so low GPAs. Like Benjamin, our older son is doing extremely well in college, because he is studying things that deeply interest him (physics) and not things that don't (english literature).

Two things I would change in terms of advice to other parents. Benjamin says that kids should not be medicated daily. We have seen a specialist at NIH who says that the latest evidence shows that daily doses of ritalin or equivalent are actually beneficial. the brain seems to develop new neurotransmitter capabilities if the dosages are kept constant.

the other has to do with reading. Our sons were not interested in reading until we discovered which topics interested them. Our oldest is sports-crazed, so he learned to read box scores at age 5. the first words he read were Philadelphia and Chicago. We bought lots of sports magazines and books and watched sporting events with him to reinforce what he learned in reading. Our younger son was very interested in comics, so we bought every Calvin & Hobbs book. We read them to him over and over and later he learned to read them himself. Great vocabulary builders! Now both are voracious readers. We kept the house awash in books on many topics. If they indicated an interest, we got books on that topic. so they learned to enjoy books.

So, thanks to Benjamin for an inside look at a world that is very difficult for a non-ADD parent to fathom. We wish you well, Benjamin, and all the other parents who are out there dealing with this problem! Your children can definitely grow up to be successful, though it may not feel like at when they are in third grade!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Only a Mother Could Love Him, November 27, 2003

By 

sewwhatsnew@hfx. "Sew Whats New.Com" (Nova Scotia, CANADA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Only a Mother Could Love Him - My Story - How I lived with A.D.D. and Overcame It! (Paperback)

I recommend this book wholeheartedly to anyone needing information on ADHD. My 13 yr. old grandson lives with us and I was at my wits end over his school work and unpredictability. I found this book and just devoured it. It was not long before I could see thru the eyes of my grandson and truly understand some of what he is feeling.

The opinions stated in this book are not always mine, but I found a lot of his insight just so valuable and sometimes humorous. I have highlighted many passages and keep it by my bed so I can remind myself that I am not going crazy. Ben tells it like it is.

Ben Polis is a brilliant young man who should be applauded for his courage in writing this book and sharing his life with us.