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I Only Roast the Ones I Love: Busting Balls Without Burning Bridges [Hardcover]

Jeffrey Ross
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)

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Book Description

September 15, 2009
Jeffrey Ross is one of the world’s most foremost practitioners of insult comedy. Having escaped from his family’s kosher catering business, he spent years in the comedy circuit and mastered his craft of delivering hilarious and often offensive insults. Mixing silliness and sincerity, Ross explains the overall history of the roast and explains the art of delivering a stream of “festive abuse” while eliciting laughs. Taking readers on an entertaining journey through his own career, he shares roasts straight from the Friar’s Club and the ever popular Comedy Central television events and provides a narrative of his favorite roasts of friends and family, including:

Flava Flav: “You really are the ugliest man in America. I mean, how do you roast charcoal?” William Shatner: “Man, you have really let yourself boldly go. If Scotty tried to beam you up now you’ d break the f*n’ transporter.” Courtney Love: “Courtney Love, you’re like the girl next door…if you happen to live next to a Methadone clinic.”

Featuring tips on timing, what’s going too far, and dealing with hecklers, Ross shows readers how to channel their inner roastmaster—and emphasizes the all-important Friars’ Club motto: We only roast the ones we love.


Frequently Bought Together

I Only Roast the Ones I Love: Busting Balls Without Burning Bridges + No Offense: Live from New Jersey + Greg Giraldo: Midlife Vices
Price for all three: $43.62

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Editorial Reviews

Review

"If insulting somebody is an art form, then Jeffrey Ross is Pablo Picasso!" -- Chicago Tribune

"I Only Roast the Ones I Love is one of the funniest, most compelling, touching, and controversial books I've ever read. If you love the art of people onstage saying funny insults that make your whole life's work seems like a bunch of crap, then this is the book for you." -- Chris Rock

"Jeffrey Ross has a face for books, and I'm glad he's finally come to terms with that." -- Chelsea Handler

"I Only Roast the Ones I Love is Jeff Ross's most insulting work yet. An indispensable guideto making certain everyone you know hates you. Very, very funny. Jeff's writing is the reason I learned to read." -- Jimmy Kimmel

"Do yourself a favor...get Jeff's book, curl up next to the fireplace...and throw it in." -- Bob Saget

"When Jeff asked me to give a quote for his book, my first thought was to get Jeff Ross to write it. He's incredibly funny and I'm incredibly busy." -- John Mayer

"I've cooked a few meals in my day, but trust me, nobody knows how to cook someone's goose like Jeffrey Ross. He will teach you how to baste and bake all of your family and friends until every relationship is burnt beyond recognition. Ross is a flame-thrower at both ends." -- Rachael Ray

"Don't judge this book by its cover just because Jeff's face is on it." -- Sarah Silverman

About the Author

Jeffrey Ross is the current New York Friars’ Club Roastmaster General and was a roaster for Comedy Central’s Roast of Pamela Anderson in 2005. Ross has appeared on television shows, such as The Late Show with David Letterman, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O’Brien, and many others. He’s also a regular on The Opie and Anthony Show and has also appeared on HBO’s Six Feet Under and Showtime’s Weeds. In film, he has appeared in Stuck on You and The Aristocrats. His first hour-long Comedy Central special No Offense: Life from New Jersey aired August 2008. Jeffrey Ross, the meanest man in comedy and “one man verbal assault unit” (MTV), offers anecdotes and deconstructs the makings of a great roast—based on his own career as the Friars’ Club Roastmaster General. 21

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 304 pages
  • Publisher: Gallery Books; First Edition edition (September 15, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 143910140X
  • ISBN-13: 978-1439101407
  • Product Dimensions: 8.7 x 5.5 x 1 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #423,603 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Funny, witty and heart warming. Fred Smith  |  9 reviewers made a similar statement
I ended up spending the day I bought this book reading it from start to finish. Matt M. Jones  |  3 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars More Than Just a Funny Book October 5, 2009
Format:Hardcover
To be honest, I haven't read a lot of books written by comedians. I used to pick them up and flip through the pages and I'd see...a lot of white pages. A lot of empty space. Sometimes a successful comedian's book would simply be a list of zingers and one-liners, a transcript of their act.

Not this book!

I've enjoyed Jeffrey Ross on the Comedy Central Roasts, along with what roast footage I could find online, and I have seen him several times at the local Improv. He's just a funny, funny guy. If he works hard at it, he still makes it look like the easiest thing in the world--a true pro. (And just chatting with him between shows has also shown what a genuinely nice person he really is, despite some of the most frigid insults ever thrown from a dias).

So when I saw his book in the bookstore, I picked it up and skimmed through parts of it. I kept saying, "Oh, I remember that! I remember that too!" But it was also fascinating to hear about what he saw during his most memorable moments.

I bought the book and read it immediately. Numerous times I've laughed out loud. Many times I was even touched when he talked about his family while growing up in New Jersey and how he performs for our soldiers in the field and recovering in hospitals. As if that wasn't enough, the show business anecdotes and personal stories of famous people, especially the older generation of comics like Milton Berle and (Jeff's mentor) Buddy Hackett and the new generation of comedians like Jon Stewart, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silvermann, definitely make this book worth reading.

It's a fast, lean read with some laugh-out loud comedy and some wonderful insights into being a Roastmaster General. But, for now, there's only one.

Loved it.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Better than you'd think September 19, 2009
By Linda
Format:Hardcover
This book is a great read and very well written. And yes, it's laugh out loud funny. It's so much better than I thought it would be. No offense to Jeffrey Ross, but he doesn't seem like he'd have the patience to put sentences together so well. Loved the chapter on New Jersey and the background on The Friar's Club.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars funny with heart November 19, 2009
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
I loved this book! Funny, witty and heart warming. Although I had seen the Pam Anderson roast on Comedy Central, I did not know who Jeff Ross was. I bought the book after hearing him pitch it on the Stephanie Miller radio show one morning. He had me and my car pool riders cracking up.

This book provides great insight into how and why someone becomes a comic and the kind of courage it takes to be a comic and to make fun of other people in public without crossing the line and pissing them off. The book is well written and is very funny as well as insightful. I particularly loved the story about how his dad busted Don Rickles balls by playing the same prank on Rickles that Rickles had once played on Sinatra.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book!
I couldn't put this book down. Great, funny quick read! It was nice to see where he started out his career.
Published 2 days ago by Tara W.
5.0 out of 5 stars Very good
Jeff is the king of roasting. All good comedians are smart and crazy as hell. Jeff is allot more than that. Worth the look I assure you.
Published 1 month ago by Paul Williams
5.0 out of 5 stars Funny book from a brilliant comic
I can't recommend this book enough for anyone who is, like me, a fan of Jeff Ross or, for that matter, a fan of comedy/roasts in general. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Scott B
1.0 out of 5 stars I wish I hadn't bought it
neither informative nor funny. a waste of time. The supposed humor woud not past muster in a 6th grade classroom
Published 1 month ago by Wellesley Ma.
5.0 out of 5 stars Hillarious
Great book for any fan of Jeff Ross or anyone that just loves a good laugh at the expense of others.
Published 5 months ago by 4483wahoo
2.0 out of 5 stars This book will really break your balls, all right
Well, I'm not prudish and have been known to speak in a rather racy
style. But the examples shared by this ball-busting author of "I Only Roast
Ones I Love" are too raw... Read more
Published 6 months ago by Loren Ek
5.0 out of 5 stars Jeff Ross affirmed my belief that the best comedians are ever better...
I loved this book. Every single story has a lesson. I read this thinking I would mainly get some laughs from the hilarious Jeffrey Ross. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Alex Gibsun
4.0 out of 5 stars Uneven, But Ultimately Good
I sought out and purchased IORTOIL after having heard the author, Jeffrey Ross, interviewed on the (recently rebroadcast) very first "WTF with Marc Maron" podcast. Read more
Published 8 months ago by True Joy
5.0 out of 5 stars One of my favourite comedy books
I loved this book. It combines comedy wisdom with a behinds the scenes look at the roasts along with some jeff ross autobiography bits. Read more
Published 12 months ago by G. Walker
3.0 out of 5 stars I Only Roast the Ones I Love
Not exactly what I had in mind. I was looking for roast material I could apply to some friends. This is more the authors story.
Published 19 months ago by Reg
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