Customer Reviews

The Open Adoption Experience - A Complete Guide for Adoptive and Birth Families

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

When my husband and I first decided to adopt a child, our adoption counselor asked that we read The Open Adoption Experience. We felt that we were "prepared for anything" after reading the book and continuously referred to it during the adoption process. It helped us to forge strong bonds with our birthfamily. Our son, Thomas, was born four years ago. As he grows and circumstances change, I find myself referring to this book time and again. Just today, I picked up the book to find learn about issues surrounding the impending birth of Thomas' first birth sibling. Open Adoption has been full of WONDERFUL surprises. This book, takes much of the stress and fear out of the open adoption experience.

I found this book to be extremely helpful in learning about all that is involved in open adoptions. I am a birthmother, and found that this book addressed the concerns and feelings of both the adoptive parents and the birth parents. I only wish I had read it earlier on in my pregnancy, when I had just begun to consider adoption, as it is a very helpful book not only for those already involved in open adoptions, but for those who are considering adoption also, as it contains a whole section on meeting and getting to know each other. Overall, a great book to read for all involved in open (and semi-open) adoptions.

I found this book really helpful, and wished that I had discovered it sooner. Besides just being a good primer on open adoption, it has very useful sections about "Readiness for Open Adoption", "Choosing Each Other", "Getting to Know Each Other" and parts titled "Birth and Placement" and "The Relationship Grows and Changes" - which discusses what to expect during the first year, and as the relationship grows and changes over time. It also discusses how open adoption affects the children in the families - adopted or otherwise. It also includes what to do/how to handle the situation when the Birthmom cancels the adoption plan. Overall, I thought it was a great book, as it had a good balance between the birth parents' perspective and that of the adoptive parents.

When we were first considering adopting, this book answered all our questions about openness in the adoption process. The book gave us the knowledge and the confidence to actively seek an open adoption. And now that our adopted son is almost a year old, it's advice is still as relevant as ever. The book explains in accessible language, with compelling real-life examples, how an open adoption can benefit an adopted child, and how adoptive parents can help to make an open adoption work. Indispensible reading!

Melina and Roszia's book is a must-have for anyone interested in open adoption. Particularly helpful for professionals and the birth and adoptive parents involved in an open adoption, "The Open Adoption Experience" covers every aspect of an adoption in which birth and adoptive parents seek to establish and maintain ongoing relationships. I highly recommend it.

If I were adopting today and had read this thoughtful book, I would jump at the opportunity for an open adoption. The information on pre-adoption and placement aspects is persuasive for both adoptive and birth parents, especially since the author is non-judgmental. When you think about it, open adoption seems ideal for both parties involved. Really a utopia. I get goose bumps thinking about it. And yet. . . yet. . . The U.S. has gone from one extreme of adoption practice (secrecy) to another, openness. Unfortunately, the adversarial relationship between advocates and critics of openness in adoption is exacerbated by lack of empirical research. It is this lack of empirical evidence that should caution prospective adoptive parents about this new extreme practice. Lois Ruskai Melinas book was published in 1993, but we have now at least one large longitudinal study on openness. Harold D. Grotevant and Ruth G. McRoy report in their study, Openness in Adoption, Exploring Family Connections (Sage 1998): The clearest policy implication of our work is that no single type of adoption is best for everyone. These authors warn that the long-term impact of openness for all parties in the adoptive kinship network is not known and longitudinal research is necessary to answer this question. We now have a generation of children who grew up in open adoptions, and we need to find out from them, now that they are adults, how they perceived the practice in their lives. We do not have such a comprehensive study of their experiences, but only anecdotal records. Even if some adoptive and birth parents like openness, this does not mean that the practice is good for the children. Some research also indicates that birthmothers who see their children suffer more than those who do not see them.
I am an adoptive mother of a secret adoption and was always opposed to secrecy, but since we met our wonderful birthmother 29 years later (she found us) Im even more opposed to it, seeing what secrecy has done to her. I think I would have loved to have had an open arrangement with her, yet she says that she could not have coped with openness. It would have driven her insane to visit her baby and not be able to take her home. She would greatly have preferred a semi-open practice over a secret one. Incredible to me, our daughter, now age 34, would again have wanted a closed adoption because she does not want to think about the confusion her loving birthmother would have created in her childs mind and heart. This issue drives one to distraction because one wants a clear answer to what practice is best, and there isnt one.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

I was a little hesitant about the whole open adoption situation, until I read this book. It really helped me to understand how open adoptiongs work. This is a well written and practical book. If you only read one book on open adoption, read this one!

...then this book would help to answer some questions regarding continuing a relationship with the birth family. Unfortunately, if you are a fost/adopt parent - the issues pertaining to establishing on-going relationships with birth parents who have lost their parental rights (as opposed to someone who has chosen to give up their child) are not very well addressed.

I can't say enough about this wonderful book. It's packed full of examples, covers more than just the pre-adoption and placement aspects, and is incredibly non-judgemental. There's so much information here, more than I expected. It really helped me think through all of the issues related to adoption. It's for both birth and adoptive parents, in fact, two of the birth parents we've been in contact with were excited to hear about it and ended up ordering the book themselves. Reading through this book really helped me conquer my fears about adoption. I'm so glad it was recommended to us. If you're thinking about adoption, even if you're thinking that open adoption isn't right for you I highly recommend taking a chance and buying this book. It's great.

This book was recommended to us as we considered an open adoption. We bought and read this book (and read it again) and found it better than we imagined. It helps an adoptive parent realize the benefits of an open adoption and gives different examples and senarios (since every situation is different). We now have a three month old son and have an open adoption with his birthmom. Things (so far) couldn't be better.