Customer Reviews

Open to Desire: Embracing a Lust for LifeInsights from Buddhism and Psychotherapy

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

As a western buddhist, I have been intrigued about how Buddhism works with or teaches us how to understand our pruriant desires. However, aside from Tantra, there is a very limited amount of Buddhist material concerning how the mind deals with sexuality and our desires. Mark Epstein has done an amazing job in bringing these two areas together. The book uses the Buddha's Four Noble Truths as a vehicle to explain in detail how our desires and cravings become toxic to our relationships, and the ways to end this pattern. Written from a therapuetic and spiritual point of view, the book is neither dogmatic, nor self-help. As a lazy reader, I know when I found an enoyable book and an easy read when I spend more time reading than usual. This book fits the bill as easy to read, chock full of important insights, and truly a gift. I hope there will be a workbook of exercises or meditations that will follow.

I am a meditation teacher (since 1968), and I am really enjoying this book. It is brave of Mark to go against the doctrine of Buddhists to complain bitterly and mindlessly against desire. I find his writing enriching, for he is speaking as a meditator, a lover, a father, an analyst, and a wonderer - someone who is willing to just LOOK at what is going on. And opening to desire makes meditation juicier and more electrifying.

Since the late 60's, most of my friends have been Buddhists or Yogis, and in the early 70's I noticed how deadened many of them were becoming, as they worked inwardly to kill their desires. You can watch over the years as meditators lose vitality as they cultivate a detached, dissociated, suspicious attitude toward the flow of life. Then they become fascinated by and dependent upon authoritarian "masters" to tell them what to do.

Lorin Roche, author of Meditation Secrets for Women and Meditation 24/7.

Not as "user-friendly" as some of his other books I've read. The first two-thirds of it felt like a text book, like kind of an academic stretch to sew together some dissimilar fabrics that kept wanting to fray. I read it in tandem with a friend who is a Buddhist, a long time psychologist and PhD, then we discussed it. She liked it and thought it brought her some knowledge she could use in her practice. Although I understand the concept and I don't disagree, I don't feel I gained much from the read overall. Maybe too academic for my artist soul.

I recommend this book to anyone who has ever desired for anything that he or she can never achieve. Though I found this book in Religion/Buddhist section of the bookstore, I will encourage non-Buddhist to read this book as well.

This book brought enormous amount of peace to me during difficult times.

I am a neo-Buddhist and for the past two years, I had been working on the "cessation of attachment" to objects. I felt that I was almost there.

Then I met a remarkable woman who simply swept me off my feet with her beauty and intelligence. As it happens in life, I will never be able to "have" her. All my self-training on "cessation of attachment" were forgotten. I was missing her so badly that one evening I developed symptoms of a heart attack and had to be admitted in the hospital.

It was at the time of despair and heartache when I found this book. This book has afforded my the best psychotherapy I could ever imagine. This book has taught me to separate my desire from craving. I have learned to preserve and not feel guilty for my desire and fight, to some extent, defeat the craving I had for my friend. I have learned to acknowledge and respect my friend as "whole person" and not only the perspective of her that I see.

I recommend this book to every man and woman of this earth.

This book was recommended by Gestalt practitioners and was used as the basis of a workshop on Desire and Passion. Epstein uses examples from his own life to illustrate a central Buddhist myth throughout the text. The main point: clinging causes all suffering and the practice of non-clinging is the path to creating and deepening relationships of all sorts. When one is open to his/her own desires without expectations of others to fulfill them, our own desires become our teachers.

I was really impressed by this book. Epstein explains the possibility of feeling desire but not succumbing to cravings. He draws on Buddhist principles to explain the difference between desire and craving. Desire is acknowledgement of something you want, without clinging, while craving involves seeking satisfaction (which is rarely, if ever achieved).

I found the various examples he used to be instructive in learning how desire can become an obsession, and ways for being mindfully aware of desire and still enjoying it in your everyday life. The lession here isn't that you need to get rid of desire, but rather acknowledge it in such a way that understand its effects on you.

I highly recommend the book. It will help you see how you treat others and yourself and recognize the impact desire has on you.

Epstein's latest book argues that, according to both Buddha and Freud, it is not desire that we need to abandon, rather it is attachment that needs to be resolved in our daily lives. He presents this argument in an unabashed and intimate manner, which sets a very different tone from the clinical though spiritual style of his previous books.

Many buddhists believe that desire is an enemy of spiritual growth but Epstein says that not only should we not be afraid of desire, it is actually a good thing and is a possible path toward enlightenment. He says that intimacy is not a barrier to spiritual growth and that desire can be used to experience some of the lessons that Buddhism teaches about bliss and emptiness. To support his case, Epstein uses an impressive range of sources, ranging from the Ramayana to case studies of patients. At times the breadth of the sources, such as clinical case histories juxtaposed with tanta, detract from the clarity of his arguments.

In the buddhist community saying that desire is not the enemy is like wearing a Clinton t-shirt to a republican convention. Well not exactly, but you get the idea. So he is taking a bit of a risk here which adds, dare I say it, passion to his arguments, making this book a more interesting read than typical pedagogical books in the area. Epstein reverts to his usual style at the end of the book by talking about how one can work with desire in a positive way. He suggests we do this by just "being" with the desire and not clinging to it or rejecting it. Overall an excellent book on buddhism and psychology (mainly Freud) and how these two disciplines deal with desire (but be warned it is quite a bit different from my previous books both in style as well as content, if that is what you are looking for)

This book failed on a number of levels.

If you are already studying Buddhism, you might find this topic of reconciling worldly desire with "The Path" to be interesting and possibly useful. While this topic is a good one, this particular book is a flop.

First of all, the message of the book was ambiguous. But the most interpretation I have of it is this: Use desire to gain insight; the insight you gain gives you an orgasmic level of bliss, yada yada yada. This is great - but it's already been said elsewhere! (and more elegantly!)
This book contained nothing new related to Buddhism, except a sexy repackaging. The book is completely redundant insofar as learning more about The Practice. It gives no clear advice on how to further one's practice. (aside from having Tantric sex with someone (assuming you can find a partner)... in which case there are plenty of other books on that topic. )

If you know very little about Theravada Buddhism, you still might think Epstein's take on desire is interesting. However, like I said above, you can just read any other book about mindfulness, insight meditation, or Theravada Buddhism, and you will find that material much more clear and useful. Suggestions to you are "Mindfulness in Plain English" (which you can cut-and-paste for free off the Internet!) and "Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness."

In short, it's an interesting topic but a bad book. Epstein is vague, rambling, seemingly contradictory, and, if my interpretation is correct, completely redundant. He does not build on Buddhism, nor does he challenge it: He simply sexes it up, "eclecticizes" it, and resells it in a diluted and confusing form. (I think Epstein had good intentions, but I think he was just thinking out loud in this particular book.)

If you think I've missed the point of the book, I would REALLY like to know what I missed. I had high hopes going in! What is the thesis? How does it differ from or improve existing Theravada instruction?

Excellent book on Buddhism and desire from Mark Epstein. Epstein illuminates what seems to me a broader, more cogent, and more useful interpretation of the Buddhist position on desire.

This is one of the greatest books I have ever read but it is evident how it migt not appeal to some. In a sense, this book is like a poem. Poems are just a jumble of words and if the meaning is not found, one could easily walk away. Do not be persuaded not to read this because of a bad review because the person who wrote that review, clearly is clearly not Open to Desire.