Open to Desire: The Truth About What the Buddha Taught (Paperback)

~ Mark Epstein (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Helping readers to reconcile their conflicting thoughts about desire from both a Buddhist and a psychological point of view, Mark Epstein’s well-received book now arrives in trade paperback.

It is common in both Buddhism and Freudian psychoanalysis to treat desire as if it is the root of all suffering and problems, but psychiatrist Mark Epstein believes this to be a grave misunderstanding. In his controversial defense of desire, he makes clear that it is the key to deepening intimacy with ourselves, each other, and our world.

Proposing that spiritual attainment does not have to be detached from intimacy or eroticism, Open to Desire begins with an exploration of the state of dissatisfaction that causes us to cling to irrational habits. Dr. Epstein helps readers overcome their own fears of desire so that they can more readily bridge the gap between self and other, cope with feelings of incompletion, and get past the perception of others as objects. Freed from clinging and shame, desire’s spiritual potential can then be opened up.

From the Back Cover

Praise for Open to Desire:
"A masterpiece. . . . It teaches us how not to fear and repress, but to rechannel and harness the most powerful energies of life toward freedom and bliss."
—ROBERT THURMAN

"A fascinating look at the urge for pleasure, with the goal of helping readers accept the sensation of wanting into their lives in ways that are helpful both spiritually and psychologically."
—BODY & SOUL

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Gotham (January 5, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1592401856
• ISBN-13: 978-1592401857
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #151,768 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 24 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Thank you Dr. Epstein, August 19, 2006

By	A Grateful Reader (Wishing for A Humane World) - See all my reviews

I recommend this book to anyone who has ever desired for something that he or she could never achieve. Though I found this book in Religion/Buddhist section of the bookstore, I will encourage non-Buddhist to read this book as well because this books deals with the basic cause of human suffering.

This book has brought enormous amount of peace to me during a very difficult phase of my life.

I am a neo-Buddhist and for the past two years, I had been working on the "cessation of attachment" to objects. I felt that I was almost there.

Then I met a remarkable woman who simply swept me off my feet with her beauty and intelligence. As it happens in life, I will never be able to "have" her. All my self-training on "cessation of attachment" were forgotten. I was missing her so badly that one evening I developed symptoms of a heart attack and had to be admitted in the hospital.

It was at the time of despair and heartache when I found this book. This book has afforded my the best psychotherapy I could ever imagine. This book has taught me to separate my desire from craving. I have learned to preserve and not feel guilty for my desire and fight, to some extent, defeat the craving I had for my friend. I have learned to acknowledge and respect my friend as "whole person" and not only the perspective of her that I see.

I recommend this book to every man and woman of this earth.

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Eastern/Western Buddhist philosophy, August 20, 2006

By	HH "1ove1y" (Northampton, MA) - See all my reviews

Open to Desire offers great insight to a novice on clarifying eastern Buddhism's view on non-attachment for the western mindset.

To the west, non-attachment to individuals and things is cold and uncaring. However, Dr. .Epstein makes it clear that desire is acceptable and healthy. It is when you breach that desire to an unhealthy state of clinging that manifest into a negative connotation.

Overall, Dr. Epstein makes it clear that through discipline and restraint that you can fully embrace and accept love--and fully be open to desire.

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Buddha Goes East, Epstein Goes West, November 28, 2008

By	L. Wilcox (Christchurch NZ) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

The Buddhist attitude to Desire is uncontroversial. Desire is the enemy. The Buddha taught that all life is, ultimately, Suffering. Whatever we gain we will lose. We are born only to end up in old age, misery and death. We desire the pleasurable things in life and conveniently forget what the final result will be. Blinded by Desire, we are dragged through life after weary life.

In the Pali Canon, more than 10 times as long as the Bible, this teaching is repeated innumerable times. Desire leads to suffering and death. (I am not making this up to annoy people: feel free to check for yourself.) Theravada monastic writings, in a figure of speech repeated monotonously for centuries, warn that if you feel the stirring of sexual desire, you should free yourself from it with the same urgency you would feel if your hair caught fire.

The author's only argument for his own diametrically opposed view is the existence of "Tantric Buddhism." There are two problems with this.
1. Tantra has nothing to do with Buddhism. It was a semi-magical popular spirituality adopted by Hinduism and some forms of Buddhism, most famously in Tibet. If the Buddha knew of an early version of Tantra (which is not impossible) he would have rejected it. His own words, preserved for us in Pali, contain not one single reference to Tantra or anything resembling it.

2. Tantra is just Not about joyous acceptance of desire and sexuality. It is about developing meditative concentration to a point where sexual pleasure can be transformed into highly refined meditative states: anger can be treated in the same way. This is a fiercely technical process, is pursued very gradually, and takes many years. Tibetans compare Tantric practitioners to the peacock which (according to folklore) can eat poisonous snakes without harm. Tantra is about transforming forces that are seen as inherently dark, dangerous and destructive.

This book was enjoyable to read, but "The Truth About What the Buddha Taught"? Please! When we enounter teachings as severe and demanding as those of the Buddha it's tempting to alter them to suit ourselves. 10,000 pages of the Pali Scriptures are there to bring us back to reality.