Open Hearts: Renewing Relationships with Recovery, Romance & Reality (Paperback)

~ (Author), Debra Laaser (Author), Mark Laaser (Author) "Before you begin to explore your relationship, before you rebuild health and intimacy, you need to understand the history of the family you came from-your..." (more)
Key Phrases: gentleness break, quest contract, fighting rules, Higher Power, Step One, Twelve Steps (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A hopeful, helpful guide to transforming our most intimate bond" -- John Bradshaw

"Guides us on a tender journey to fulfilling the highest potential of a loving relationship" -- Claudia Black

Product Description

Open Hearts: Renewing Relationships With Recovery, Romance and Reality by Patrick Carnes, Ph.D., Debra Laaser and Mark Laaser, Ph.D. (Gentle Path Press, 1999)

When a couple first comes together, the knee-weakening, heart-stopping, pants-dropping passion exhilarates. But turning that hunka hunka burnin love into an intimate bond comes no more naturally than learning to ride a bicycle or use chopsticks. What we are socialized to assume should be spontaneous and effortless requires patience and learned skills. Worse, should any problems erupt (you know, little things like kids, money or sex), we fear the relationship and we are irrevocably broken. We need help.

Open Hearts teaches those relationship skills. What makes it different is it is drawn from the lives of couples shattered by the ultimate betrayals of sex addiction. It takes principles learned in clinically treating couples shellshocked by shame and pain. Then it mixes them with spiritual steps drawn fr! om the authors own recovery to find healing hope in the hell of unimaginable hurt.

Though written by two noted psychologists, Open Hearts is not technical, but gentle and uplifting. Thats because authors Pat Carnes and Mark and Deb Laaser share how they found their way to joyous and fulfilling intimacy. Whats more, while these concepts originated in the recovery movement, they can transform any couple seeking renewal or trying to restore a broken relationship.

Open Hearts starts with basic truths:

„h We can only work on a relationship when were in that relationship. Running away never solved anything.

„h If we have not resolved childhood developmental issues, we will seek out partners we think will resolve them. Always.

„h Its perfectly healthy to fight. We just have to learn to do it better.

„h As partners were often stuck in coupleshame. But working through it leads to true intimacy.

Open Hearts is a book a couple does together. It takes techniques Carne! s and Laaser developed in their psychotherapy practices and weaves them into a series of individual and joint exercises. It looks at tough issues: shame, anger, money, betrayal, sex, parenting. It encourages fun: drawing up a family motto, expressing spirituality together, taking gentleness breaks. It works.

Now these three authors address coupleship to show how a relationship, no matter how imperfect or new, can be transformed and restored to loving intimacy.

Join us in a gentle path to a renewed relationship.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 218 pages
• Publisher: Gentle Path Press (December 15, 1999)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1929866003
• ISBN-13: 978-1929866007
• Product Dimensions: 10 x 8.1 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #74,966 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

38 of 39 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Gently healing your intimate partnership using the 12 steps, August 6, 2006

By	Leah Sullivan "grateful presence" (Pasadena, CA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This is a lot of value for a very small price. You can embark on a life changing journey utilizing these pages.

This is a book that makes large, emotional issues approachable for couples, and makes sense out of the often baffling conflicts and complexities of intimate relationships. It is largely based on a twelve-step recovery program, RCA, Recovering Couples Anonymous, but is written for any couple's use, as long as the desire to reach for something better is sincere.

The first few chapters explore important issues and concepts, and my husband and I have gained a lot of confidence in the book from reading these chapters aloud to one another. We gained a number of valuable and helpful insights as well, about ourselves and one another.It is written in a realistic, insightful and respectfully caring style, that we found encouraging.

The rest of the book is in a workbook format, with exercises that are geared to helping a couple understand themselves and the entity of the relationship and bring all the pieces together in an honest way that can, I believe, lead to healing. The exercises are accompanied by guiding explanations.

I have not worked these exercises yet, but my husband and I intend to do so when we're through with the readings.

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars healing for couples recovering from sex addiction, September 23, 2008

By	Jan "Butterfly Nana" - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

Patrick Carnes is a "founding father" in this field and does not disappoint. He displays complete understanding and guides gently on the path to wholeness for couples. Double WOW!

0 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Hm, looks like a publisher mishap..., May 5, 2008

By	Nicholas J. Kittleson "www.romancingalaska.com" (Anchorage, Alaska) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

When I got the book, I noticed that some of the pages were backwards and upside down. Looks like the publisher made a mistake in binding one section. It doesn't bother me that much but I thought I would let Amazon know so the info can be passed onto the publisher.