Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself (Paperback)

by Amy Richards (Author)
Key Phrases: marriage agreement, diaper divide, feminist parenting, New York, Betty Friedan, United States (more...)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly
In this spirited response to the controversial 2004 New York Times Magazine's cover story The Opt-Out Revolution claiming that America's most educated women are choosing motherhood over careers, feminist activist Richards (coauthor, Grassroots) reminds readers of the real strides the women's movement has made in allowing women to choose and juggle both. The initial uneasiness in reconciling motherhood with feminism (e.g., dependence vs. independence) has largely been eclipsed, notes Richards, despite the misleading headlines. From diaper-changing stations in both men's and women's restrooms to the Family and Medical Leave Act, flextime and on-site childcare in the workplace, feminism's investment in parenting is undeniable, she writes. Her work incorporates her own experience raising two sons with her unmarried partner while maintaining an important identity in women's causes such as cofounder of the Third Wave Foundation and Soapbox. Scrolling through solid feminist history, she cogently examines issues involving mothers such as to work or not to work; the mania over one's biological clock; nonsexist child-rearing; balancing household work; and nurturing friendships with women and one's own mother. Overall, Richards strongly urges women to educate themselves about the achievements of the first waves of feminists and to advocate actively in their community for self-worth and dignity for all. (May)
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Review
A movingly written book, Opting in: Having a Child without Losing Yourself beautifully dissects the feminist relationship to motherhood, creating a framework for modern career women to embrace motherhood while maintaining their aspirations and ambitions. -- Sylvia Ann Hewlett, Economist, Author of Off-Ramps and On Ramps: Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success, President of the Center for Work-Life Policy

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Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (April 29, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0374226725
• ISBN-13: 978-0374226725
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.4 x 1.3 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #153,551 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Compendium Read, July 14, 2008

By	J. Aragon "Feminist Educator" - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

The perfect reader or audience for this book is going to be a new mother in her 20s or 30s and preferably someone who hasn't heard of the Association for Research on Mothering, Adrienne Rich or the plethora of published lay and academic books on mothering and parenting. This is a great book and the new reader to said topics will enjoy the breadth of what it covers and the style. Richards (and her co-author of two other books Manifest and Grassroots) both write in an easy to read style.

This book pretty much rehashes countles other books and studies and includes personal points and nonscientific examples (her friends/colleagues, and strangers). It was a really easy read, but at times, I was again rolling my eyes at the self-congatulatory statements that she made. I don't have my copy here at work, but for instance making the comparison that kids from a single parent household share attributes with people of color was a bit of a stretch. She meant to say that she shared a sense of not belonging to mainstream society as a white woman who was raised by a single parent and that she had an affinity for folks of color or something like that. Nonetheless, this particular section of the book reminded me of limosine liberals trying hard to prove through street cred.

There was nothing new here; however, I will suggest this book to women who are unfamiliar with the more academic area of study or other women who haven't read Breeder, Mothers Who Think, Perfect Madness, The Mommy Myth, Ariel Gore, Ayun Halliday, and too many others to list.

Richards book does give an overview of the literature and I'm sure that a reader will be encouraged to look through the list of sources and bibliography in the back. But, for me, someone who has been officially parenting for 11 years and other parenting prior to this, the book did not present any new material.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Eh, July 21, 2008

By	Emily Baker (Boston MA) - See all my reviews

Richards is a good writer and I enjoyed reading her story and thoughts. But this to me was a good afternoon read from the library, nothing more. The book is a bit rambling and unstructured, and I got really impatient with it at times. She goes on for a long time about why women chose to stay at home or work, and while I agree with many of her thoughts (for example: that staying home can have at least as much to do with dissatisfaction with their own careers or lives as it is for the sake of the kids), I think it's amazing that she never brings the cost of daycare into the discussion.

I preferred "The Mommy Myth" as a history of views on motherhood and the tough choices that women have to make once they have their first child.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Personal Indeed Political, June 1, 2008

By	E. Lee Taylor (St. Petersburg, FL) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

Richards book is carefully researched with a plethora of women's voices on motherhood. Richards is the Third Wave feminist version of Doctor Spock. Her writing is a vital contribution to the feminist movement as it underscores the importance of choice in motherhood. Richards draws on personal experiences, and interviews with other mothers, to demonstrate that whom we co-parent with is just as important as how we parent. Richards acknowledges the difficulties of balancing personal and professional, and hi-lites research that demonstrates how our personal decisions impact the political movement of feminism.