Customer Reviews

Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself

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The perfect reader or audience for this book is going to be a new mother in her 20s or 30s and preferably someone who hasn't heard of the Association for Research on Mothering, Adrienne Rich or the plethora of published lay and academic books on mothering and parenting. This is a great book and the new reader to said topics will enjoy the breadth of what it covers and the style. Richards (and her co-author of two other books Manifest and Grassroots) both write in an easy to read style.

This book pretty much rehashes countles other books and studies and includes personal points and nonscientific examples (her friends/colleagues, and strangers). It was a really easy read, but at times, I was again rolling my eyes at the self-congatulatory statements that she made. I don't have my copy here at work, but for instance making the comparison that kids from a single parent household share attributes with people of color was a bit of a stretch. She meant to say that she shared a sense of not belonging to mainstream society as a white woman who was raised by a single parent and that she had an affinity for folks of color or something like that. Nonetheless, this particular section of the book reminded me of limosine liberals trying hard to prove through street cred.

There was nothing new here; however, I will suggest this book to women who are unfamiliar with the more academic area of study or other women who haven't read Breeder, Mothers Who Think, Perfect Madness, The Mommy Myth, Ariel Gore, Ayun Halliday, and too many others to list.

Richards book does give an overview of the literature and I'm sure that a reader will be encouraged to look through the list of sources and bibliography in the back. But, for me, someone who has been officially parenting for 11 years and other parenting prior to this, the book did not present any new material.

Richards book is carefully researched with a plethora of women's voices on motherhood. Richards is the Third Wave feminist version of Doctor Spock. Her writing is a vital contribution to the feminist movement as it underscores the importance of choice in motherhood. Richards draws on personal experiences, and interviews with other mothers, to demonstrate that whom we co-parent with is just as important as how we parent. Richards acknowledges the difficulties of balancing personal and professional, and hi-lites research that demonstrates how our personal decisions impact the political movement of feminism.

Richards' book shines as a beacon of hope to frazzled, overstressed mothers: having a life outside of motherhood is entirely possible! It's about priorities, balance, and knowing your limits.

Richards balances personal anecdotes with well-known feminist commentary. She cites the changes society has undergone to allow mothers and their parenting partners more flexibility in the workplace and beyond.

A must-read for mothers, mothers-to-be, fathers, partners, EVERYONE!

Richards is a good writer and I enjoyed reading her story and thoughts. But this to me was a good afternoon read from the library, nothing more. The book is a bit rambling and unstructured, and I got really impatient with it at times. She goes on for a long time about why women chose to stay at home or work, and while I agree with many of her thoughts (for example: that staying home can have at least as much to do with dissatisfaction with their own careers or lives as it is for the sake of the kids), I think it's amazing that she never brings the cost of daycare into the discussion.

I preferred "The Mommy Myth" as a history of views on motherhood and the tough choices that women have to make once they have their first child.

Amy Richards's Opting In is a marvelous piece of writing that addresses the sometimes interesting dichotomies of being both mother and feminist, and how those two identities should be one and the same rather than polarizing camps. With an eye toward established theory while at the same time quite willing to see the humor in absolutist thought, Richards has written a book that is both entertaining and thoughtful, with each chapter better than the last.