For contemporary women, motherhood has become as polarizing a proposition as it is a powerful calling. For some women this tension is manifest in a debate over whether or not to have children. For others it concerns whether to stay at home with their children or stay in the workforce. Still others feel abandoned altogether by the supposedly pro-family and pro-mother social justice movement that is feminism and are at a loss when it comes to reconciling their maternal instincts with their political beliefs. With Opting In, Amy Richards addresses the anxiety over parenting that women face today in a book that mixes memoir, interviews, historical analysis, and feminist insight. In her refreshingly direct and thoughtful approach, Richards covers everything from the truth about our biological clocks and the trends toward extending fertility, to parenting with nature and nurturing in mind, to our relationship with our own mothers, to what feminism’s relationship to motherhood is and always has been. Speaking from the vantage point of someone who is both a parent and one of our leading feminist activists, Richards cuts through the cacophony of voices intent on telling women the “appropriate” way to be a mother and reveals instead how to confidently forge your own path while staying true to yourself and your ideals.
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"With Opting In, Amy Richards does an impressive job of showing just how many ways there are for modern women to make motherhood work for them. Richards powerfully reminds us that although these are seemingly isolated "domestic" negotiations, women open up the work-life balance not only for other women, but for men and for generations of young people to come."—Veronica Chambers, author of Having It All? Black Women and Success
"Opting In is a brave, rational, thoughtful book chock full of important information and ideas that every woman—married or not, mother or not—should make it her business to know and think about."—Cathi Hanauer, editor of The Bitch in the House
“To a world that either obsesses over children or excludes them, Amy Richards brings the revolutionary possibilities of shared intergenerational lives—not easy, mind you, but possible. If her example and writing had been around earlier, even I might have had children." —Gloria Steinem
“Amy Richards is always showing a new way forward for her generation of feminists and has done so once again with Opting In—a smart, savvy exploration of real-life, real-time motherhood that is sure to resonate.”—Naomi Wolf
“Amy Richards is one of the few women in the country who can talk about the politics of mothering in a way that doesn't make me bored or irate. Opting In is intellectually rigorous, personally authentic, insightful, and brave—and frankly, how often can you say that about books on this subject? Richards is remarkably honest and thought-provoking, and her ideas stay with you long after you’ve put the book down. Read Opting In and challenge yourself about what you think and the decisions you're making, then talk about it not only with other women but with the men in your life as well.” —Rosalind Wiseman, author of Queen Bees & Wannabees
“A movingly written book, Opting in: Having a Child without Losing Yourself beautifully dissects the feminist relationship to motherhood, creating a framework for modern career women to embrace motherhood while maintaining their aspirations and ambitions.” —Sylvia Ann Hewlett
“In Amy Richards's insightful OPTING IN, knotty twentieth-century feminist debates about family, sex, and motherhood are reexamined through sharp twenty-first century eyes. This informative book is always reasonable, readable, and refreshingly open-minded.”—Alix Kates Shulman
"Richards ... makes a convincing case for the necessity of living our politics if we want to see change... welcome advice." —Rachel Fudge, Mother Jones
When Amy Richard's graduated from Barnard College in 1992, she did not know that her summer project would be the beginning of her career as a feminist activist, writer, and organizer. Amy expected to use her degree in Art History to work in a museum or gallery. Instead, after she organized Freedom Summer '92, a cross-country voter registration drive, Amy went on to co-found the Third Wave Foundation, a national organization for young feminist activists between the ages of 15 and 30.
For a decade, Amy led Third Wave as it grew from a small grassroots organization into a national institution. At Third Wave, Amy created and sustained the organization's program areas'grant-making, public education campaigns and a national membership'and initiated projects such as "I Spy Sexism," a public education and postcard campaign encouraging people to take action on the injustices that they witness every day, and "Why Vote?," a series of panel discussions on funding for the arts, education, reproductive rights, and affirmative action. Through this leadership, Amy became a spokesperson and leading voice for young feminist issues. This launched her on the lecturing circuit and brought her invitations to appear in videos, books and media interviews offering her perspective on current events and especially youth and feminist culture. Amy has appeared in a range of media venues including Fox's The O'Reilly Factor, Oprah, Talk of the Nation, New York One and CNN. Amy was publicly distinguished as a leader in 1995 when Who Cares magazine chose her as one of twenty-five Young Visionaries. She has gone on to win accolades from Ms. magazine, which profiled her in "21 for the 21st: Leaders for the Next Century,' Women's Enews, which in 2003 named her one of their 'Leaders for the 21st Century,' and the American Association of University Women, which recently chose her as a 2004 Woman of Distinction.
As Amy moves into her thirties and away from her commitment to Third Wave, she makes her living as a lecturer, writer and consultant. Amy was the interim director for Twilight: Los Angeles, a film by Anna Deavere Smith, where she oversaw a national educational program that addressed race in America . She has also consulted to Scenarios USA on the distribution of their teen educational videos, to Gloria Steinem on her writing and political commitments, and to the Columbia School of Public Health on the long-term negative health consequences of welfare reform. Amy is also the voice behind Ask Amy, the online advice column she launched at feminist.com in 1995.
Manifesta: Young Women, Feminism, and the Future, Amy's first book, which she co-authored with Jennifer Baumgardner, was published by Farrar, Straus and Giroux in October 2000. Amy and Jennifer completed their second book, Grassroots: A Field Guide for Feminist Activism, and together they also created Soapbox Inc: Speakers Who Speak Out, a lecture agency for 'speakers who speak out.' Amy's writings have also appeared in The Nation, The LA Times, Bust, Ms. and numerous anthologies, including Listen Up, Body Outlaws and Catching A Wave. Insight Guides recently hired Amy to write a shopping guide to New York City. She is also very involved with the organizations on whose boards and advisory committees she serves, Third Wave, Ms. Magazine, Choice USA, the Sadie Nash Leadership Program, feminist.com and Planned Parenthood of New York City.
Her most recent book, Opting In: Having a Child Without Losing Yourself, about feminism and motherhood, was recently released by Farrar, Straus, and Giroux.
The perfect reader or audience for this book is going to be a new mother in her 20s or 30s and preferably someone who hasn't heard of the Association for Research on Mothering, Adrienne Rich or the plethora of published lay and academic books on mothering and parenting. This is a great book and the new reader to said topics will enjoy the breadth of what it covers and the style. Richards (and her co-author of two other books Manifest and Grassroots) both write in an easy to read style.
This book pretty much rehashes countles other books and studies and includes personal points and nonscientific examples (her friends/colleagues, and strangers). It was a really easy read, but at times, I was again rolling my eyes at the self-congatulatory statements that she made. I don't have my copy here at work, but for instance making the comparison that kids from a single parent household share attributes with people of color was a bit of a stretch. She meant to say that she shared a sense of not belonging to mainstream society as a white woman who was raised by a single parent and that she had an affinity for folks of color or something like that. Nonetheless, this particular section of the book reminded me of limosine liberals trying hard to prove through street cred.
There was nothing new here; however, I will suggest this book to women who are unfamiliar with the more academic area of study or other women who haven't read Breeder, Mothers Who Think, Perfect Madness, The Mommy Myth, Ariel Gore, Ayun Halliday, and too many others to list.
Richards book does give an overview of the literature and I'm sure that a reader will be encouraged to look through the list of sources and bibliography in the back. But, for me, someone who has been officially parenting for 11 years and other parenting prior to this, the book did not present any new material.
Richards is a good writer and I enjoyed reading her story and thoughts. But this to me was a good afternoon read from the library, nothing more. The book is a bit rambling and unstructured, and I got really impatient with it at times. She goes on for a long time about why women chose to stay at home or work, and while I agree with many of her thoughts (for example: that staying home can have at least as much to do with dissatisfaction with their own careers or lives as it is for the sake of the kids), I think it's amazing that she never brings the cost of daycare into the discussion.
I preferred "The Mommy Myth" as a history of views on motherhood and the tough choices that women have to make once they have their first child.
Richards book is carefully researched with a plethora of women's voices on motherhood. Richards is the Third Wave feminist version of Doctor Spock. Her writing is a vital contribution to the feminist movement as it underscores the importance of choice in motherhood. Richards draws on personal experiences, and interviews with other mothers, to demonstrate that whom we co-parent with is just as important as how we parent. Richards acknowledges the difficulties of balancing personal and professional, and hi-lites research that demonstrates how our personal decisions impact the political movement of feminism.