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Oral Sex: Talking and Listening Your Way to Passionate Intimacy

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"Communication" has always been my mantra from the very start of Freddy and Eddy. It was the main issue between Freddy and myself as we were experiencing going through a lull in our love life, and just life in general. I found that over the years as we ventured into this world of "sexual discontent" between people, that communication was lacking or removed from the entire relationship. We wondered how we could get more couples back on the straight and narrow to open their mouths and just speak to one another and listen with as much true passion. Hence, Oral Sex was written.

Within the Introduction, the authors Jordan Paul, Ph.D and Brenda Freshman, Ph.D make a connection to create a blend with an issue of such importance as communicating within a relationship and sexual activities. They aptly name this chapter "Becoming a Cunning Linquist".

Cunning: Skill or adeptness in execution or performance.

Linquist: A person who speaks several languages.

-The American Heritage Dictionary

The first chapter, "Having a Heart On" is all about the Heart Connection. Within this chapter they include everything with regards to having the "Light On" for both of you to connect and also what happens when the "Light Is Off" and the disconnection that will follow. During the time that your heart wavers from on to off, you realize that one main feeling courses through you; Fear. Through learning from exercises of compassionate listening and taking on personal responsibility you will see how you can take action to return to your heart.

Within Chapter 2, "The Nuts and Bolts of Holistic Sex", you will find how the body, mind and spirit intertwine together to make sex the most intimate experience ever. Here each segment will be broken down so that the reader can grasp how each part, whether it be the body (scientifically and physically), mind (beliefs of masculinity and femininity) or spirit (living in the present) is shown by example within a quote or testimony.

Chapter 3, "Oral Sex for Fun, Pleasure and Healing", brings communication to the front, and shows how it can be expressed in so many great ways. Having fun means going back to the basics and using what we all have within ourselves to "pleasure" oneself. This means using; Sensual Hearing, Pleasurable Sight, Sensual Taste and Sight, and Transcendent Touch. This chapter will examine the Common Belief versus the Heart-Connected Belief for each of these senses. The authors give their own personal experiences while weaving in stories to express each sense. Healing is a part of this wonderful time, and there isn't anything more beautiful than the story of "No Strings Attached".

Chapter 4, "Falling in Love" is a walk down the road of what we all should have done to practice the basics of communication. Everyone can relate to the "chance meeting, first date, getting to know each other, discussing safe sex" and finally determining the fine line of "just dating" and a "significant other". When I read this chapter I laughed at myself that I was lucky that I got as far with Freddy, since I strayed a bit from following this path. Although, I do remember when we got married, my stepfather said to both of us that "communication" is all I have to give you for advice". And that sticks to me and my heart every day.

Within Chapter 5 of "Staying In Love: Part 1 Intimacy and Sex", you will read how intimacy within a relationship is a staple for it to survive. You will see how sexual intimacy moves from "getting" to "giving" and how it changes the way you look at one another and grow to the next level in your relationship. I have seen how couples who have grown more apart over the years, due to not committing to have their hearts connect and letting their needs be filled with "receiving" instead of "giving". Throughout ones' relationship other issues may appear such as Sex and Parenting, Sex and Disability and Sex and Aging. Reality says that they may all appear at least once in your committed relationship.

Lastly Chapter 6, "Staying In Love: Part II Intimacy and Freedom, expands on the topic of Chapter 5. Losing your personal freedom is a fear that seems to rear its' ugly head once in awhile in relationships. Why is it that people think that a relationship has anything to do with freedom? Are we not respecting each other as an individual, (what made us attracted to each other in the first place)? The combination of Fear and Freedom can only lead a couple down a path that may lead to some very undesirable place, such as Infidelity. Is that bad? Or is it a learning curve.

Oral Sex - Talking and Listening Your Way to Passionate Intimacy is a well written book that showcases how we all need to use the most important aspect in a relationship - COMMUNICATION. With a slight tongue-in-cheek, yet informative attitude, they offer great advice and insight as what ALL couples will face down the road of life together. Hopefully they will be heart connected.

Do I like Oral Sex, you asked. "Well," blushingly I answer, "of course I do, and this book is incredible, too! "

We are beings of mind, body, and spirit, and our most rewarding relating comes when all three are in harmony, flowing lovingly through open hearts. There are so very many books about sex that deal only with the body, or with the body and mind. There are tantric volumes that deal with the spirit and the body. "Oral Sex" fills the gap, weaving body, mind and spirit together, creating a tapestry of opportunity where open hearted comunication about the most intimate physical loving can grow into a deeper spiritual and emotional bond betwen lovers.

Whether you are starting a brand new relationship or hoping to enrich or reviatlize a relationship that has already weathered a few storms, embracing open hearted communication about sex will create a loving and intimate environment where both partners can grow and blossom.

Oral Sex is the perfect foreplay, to bring your loving to new heights of intimacy, honesty, and love. And isn't that what we all long for, after all.

YES!YES!YES! (I'll have what she's having.)

The Title "Oral Sex" may put some people off from allowing themselves to pick up this wonderful book- that would be their unfortunate loss, multiplyed by the loss of their own loved ones and friends who may also hunger for this remarkable books profoundly beautiful lessons. If you hunger for deeper intimacy and an even more loving connection- READ THIS BOOK!

The authors have done a superb job of speaking clearly and creatively about how to really experience the deepest joy of life that comes from true intimacy in connecting with that one special mate. With humor and a creative genius they have taken a mix of common sense & practical, modern human psychology along with the wisdom of the ages as embodied in Buddist or Tantric and other ancient schools of thought to give a guide that will only deepen the loving connection between committed couples. No couple that takes this easy to read book seriously will be disappointed. Any couple that allows these talented teachers work to assist them will reap the greatest rewards possible of more joy, greater fullfillment and a more deeply loving committment. Read this book, turn off the TV, and tune into the most fulfilling and gratifying phase of your life.

Creates stimulating communication through compassionate understanding. Transcends basic intimacy to create a powerful loving connection on all levels. Sexually liberating!

Despite the name, this book is not about cunnilingus or fellatio. In fact, in a book titled "Oral Sex" those subjects are hardly mentioned.

As you can see by the section "What Do They Ultimately Buy?", most people who click on this page buy some other book. You should, too.

The reviews of this book I feel are a touch overrated. The premise of this book is great and, truth be told, the first chapter is absolutely terrific and has altered how i strive to communicate with my spouse. With each succeeding chapter however I found the anecdotes used to illustrate the book's points to be more and more glib and poorly illustrative. The final chapter which discusses Freedom and Intimacy I unfortunately felt sold the idea of marriage pretty short. The anecdotes used to illustrate their ideas in this final chapter I found either a) did not prove their point well or b) were hard to believe and disturbing in their degree of self absorbed behavior (i.e. kyle and susan--- which I can only hope were not being held up as models of behavior we should be striving for). Improving the illustrative anecdotes in this book would better serve the underlying themes the author is trying to promote which are very valuable.

"I love this book...from the provocative title to the repeated use of double entendre it is inspired...catchy, surprising, easy reading, funny and right on. Take it from someone who was married for a long time, this is a much needed resource for everyone looking for an authentic relationship and satisfying sex.

Most men I meet labor under the illusion that they are terrific lovers and are actually clueless! They rarely ask significant sexual questions and don't seem to know how to really listen. If they're curious at all, it generally has to do with a veiled (or not-so-veiled) request for reassurance about their sexual performance. As they get older this becomes even more of an issue for them.

I'm so weary/wary of men who are insecure about their sexual adequacy. Most of the women I know - and we talk openly about this - don't care much about sexual performance. What they care about in a man is warmth, humor, acceptance, curiosity, caring, and connection. All of which requires him being comfortable in his own skin (including his foreskin).

Believe me, giving him Oral Sex will be the gift that keeps on giving both for you and for him.

Joy Peterson M.A., MFT Psychotherapist

I came across this book through a friend and it seems like it was really a godsend. Things with my husband had changed so much from when we had first married. So when my friend handed me a copy of "Oral Sex" and told me that she thought it would help us get back on track, I thought I was going to read a book that would tell me all we had to do was have more sex. Instead, the book taught me how to open up and talk to my husband about what I was everything I was feeling. While it took a lot of practice, my husband and I are talking now like we never did before. More than anything we're having more fun than I can ever remember having. I really applaud Dr. Paul and Dr. Freshman for creating the sort of workbook that should be handed to all couples after they walk down the aisle!

Author Jordan Paul was my therapist years ago. From him I learned that communication is the way to achieve peace of any kind. That means talking AND listening. This book reinforces this belief in a simple, clear and enjoyable way. You'll have so much fun reading it, you won't realize how much you're learning!