Customer Reviews

Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics: Lifestyles for Self-Discovery

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Dr. Sinetar begins with her best foot forward in this book: "My bias is this: ordinary people can and do become whole." A quote from another source comes to mind here as well: "Mystics aren't special kinds of people, all people are special kinds of mystics." Here, Sinetar deals with two of these people, the "mystic-type" and the "monk-type." These terms need some unpacking, and she does it beautifully.

I cannot say enough about this insightful and unique book. I am one who discovered this volume after beginning the "pulling away/entering into" process, and found support, comfort, and rationale for both what I was doing and what was happening to me between its covers.

The five stars are personal; not everyone can use the information in this book, for not everyone is called to these particular paths (though all are called to some path). Still, it does away with the elitism often found in spiritual books that says contemplation and intentional living is for the "special," the "chosen." As we know, all are "chosen" in this sense, and thus all are invited to a more intimate and personal relationship with the divine, with God. This book describes two of those "kinds" of people, those who simplify their lives externally so that the internal life can be made free and clean and whole, and those who enter ever more deeply into the heart of contemplation and mysticism (a much overused word these days) to encounter God as God self-reveals. Neither of these paths are chosen by everyone (and vice-versa), but those who do feel that tug should pick up this book, out of solidarity if nothing else.

The title seems a bit fluffy, though, and I have found myself simultaneously recommending the book and apologizing for the title. I suppose that's what I am doing now, too. Buy it, read it, pass it on (mine will be the one with the cover worn off from use...)

In this fine book, Sinetar normalizes the experience of becoming psychologically whole. It asserts that Abraham Maslow's idea of self-actualization, the state of psychological wholeness or completeness, is our species' most natural state. That the process of integrating inner truth with lived experience is not the domain of the chosen few as conventional psychology has suggested. It is more ordinary than that.

Sinetar conducted a nationwide survey of adults who have pulled away physically and/or perceptually from conventional life, to live their lives guided by the rhythmns of their inner wisdom. Two primary groups of self-actualizing adults were uncovered from this research. The social-transcendent, or monk type - those responding to an inner call to birth into their most authentic self. And the self-transcendent, or mystic type - those merging their personal psychology with their life's journey, to find their way back to the 'Absolute Reality' from which they believe they've come.

In this eloquent, original work, Sinetar not only adds light to the field of spiritual psychology, but does so poignantly, through the words and experiences of those individuals whose lives have been documented for this book. These highlighted human journeys light the way for fellow travellers. They demonstrate that the humble and humbling task of living life guided from within is not only a path worth travelling, but the only truly satisfying one there is.

In 'Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics', Sinetar skillfully and knowledgeably sheds light on a too often neglected dimension of the human experience, that of the self-actualizing adult - the monk and mystic in us all. This book will satisfy a reader's desire for a depth and breadth of understanding of this everyday human experience.

Registered Clinical Counsellor, Certified Yoga Teacher

I love Martha Sinetar's unpacking (as another reviewer put it) of the terms "monk" and "mystic," and her body of work about self-actualizing people is unmatched.

What has always troubled me about her writing is this: She suggests that self-actualization requires a certain amount of self-direction, and she describes people who have carved out self-governed lives so that they can pursue their development. She profiles (in relative depth) self-employed people (carpenters, artists) and people who pursue religious vocations.

Sporadically, she very briefly introduces the notion that this kind of contemplative/right livelihood path is also available to people working as corporate managers and executives -- the people who happen to be her consulting clients. She never really explains how this plays out.

So, does she have any insight into the way a more "engaged" monk or mystic might live? Or, does she simply hope to hide a belief or observation that self-actualization requires "dropping out" to a certain extent.

I'm exploring the issue myself, and I sense that she ducks the question.

I found that this book "made sense" of my entire life, and I do agree the title is misleading. I gasped when I read a paragraph last night about the child who "survives" a schizophrenic parent. I have been in counseling for the past 45 years and no one could provide that "answer". The rest of the book speaks to me by giving me an understanding of the path I've chosen and for which I've been critized. She has a gift which she presents in this book to really understand the difficulties that individuals face when attempting a self-actualizing lifestyle.

Don't be misled by the title: this is a book about "living a self actualizing" life.

It can be (and was for me) the catalysis for major, significant life style changes. It inspires one to have "the courage of your convictions" and to live one's inner truth in the daily round of life.

I got Marsha Sinetar's book, 'Ordinary People as Monks and Mystics', when it first came out in the mid-80s. I had just had my first monastic experience as a visitor to a monastery, but was in no way interested in church and formal religion. However, I was interested in personal spiritual development, and Sinetar's book struck a very strong chord that resonated to the depths of my soul. She developed her ideas through case studies, both among her clientele and various subjects she sought to interview who took different paths toward this unique lifestyle.

History holds many people who have 'gone it alone' in spiritual development, such as anchorites, stylites, desert hermits and the like. These people were connected to community and to larger ideas spiritually, but in many ways these people had an individual streak - this is the kind of thing represented in Sinetar's work. However, these people are not 'saints' or 'scholars' or religious figures - they are 'ordinary' people, working and living self-sufficient lives physically and spiritually. She uses the term 'self-actualising' to describe the type of person she means, and backs this up with some psychological and spiritual terminology and structure, but does not go overboard in this regard.

Sinetar talks about people as monks and mystics, but concedes that many of the people she would describe as monks would never use that term applied to themselves, and have different ideas of what mysticism and mystical experience is than 'spiritual masters' of the past. However, there are keys similarities to the monastic temperament that she identifies in many people - self-sufficiency is but one quality; other qualities include stability, simplicity, and a sort of detachment from the cares of the world. In the mystical side, Sinetar looks at issues of transcendence and connectedness, which may seem at odds at first glance from the detachment of the monk, but in fact goes hand-in-hand with the idea.

Sinetar does not tie this study to any particular religion - she draws on experiences and experts East and West, and works with general principles for lifestyles and practices. By and large, most of her subjects do not follow formal systems (Benedictine or Buddhist monastic traditions, for example), but rather rely on the self-taught or self-realised for their disciplines. Some engage in formal church/religious communities, and some don't. All seek self-fulfillment and a greater unity with the world, particularly the spiritual in the world.

This is a really a how-to book, although the more advanced and disciplined reader will find applicable pieces in the text. There are many insights into personality and praxis that those familiar with spiritual disciplines will appreciate, although beginners might be a bit overwhelmed at times.

This is a book I re-read on a periodic basis, and will continue to use throughout my life, as I seek my own wholeness and unity.

This book deals with those individuals who leave the common, collective world in order to seek wholeness (self-actualization in modern jargon.) The goal is the same- obedience to the law of each person's higher nature. These people withdraw from distraction and the control of others in order that they might confront their Self.

Two paths are outlined, but they are not at all mutually exclusive. The first is the path of social transcendence, of deliberate detachment and independence from social influences to varying degrees. The author equates this with the path of the monk. However, given the fact that these people must provide their own structure and discipline independent of a traditional order, I would describe them more as in the tradition of the hermit.

The second path goes further, for it is that of self-transcendence. Here it is not merely society that is transcended but one's own petty ego. This is the path of direct union with something higher. It is difficult to express but recognizable by such figures as Plotinus, Dante, Blake, Swedenborg, Whitman, Bucke, etc. While those on the path of the monk often would not recognize themselves as such (they might not even see themselves as spiritual), those who are on the mystic's path invariably recognize that they are mystics.

I am glad that I didn't discover this book until I had already lived the paths described on my own. In this way I immediately knew what the individuals interviewed for the author's study were talking about. I identified immediately. It was an enriching independent confirmation of my own life's experiences. This was especially refreshing given the almost universal tendency of this society and its watchdogs to insist that withdrawing from society is a dangerous, if not deviant, thing to prevented at all costs. Of course, there is nothing more dangerous to modern, mass society than the self-actualized man or woman...

This book was a watershed in helping me to honor the deep wisdom found in everyday experience and simplicity. It dignifies individual lives and stories in a way which is very transforming. The integrity individuals may develop when rooted in such dignity provides real hope that our culture may be refounded in wisdom and find its way beyond the current addiction to prosperity and materialism masquerading as self-discovery.

As a life coach, I work with my clients to help them find what works for them in their lives and why. The irony of life coaching is that it is very difficult to coach yourself because you don't have that "observer" point of view.

I am a mystic in Dr. Sinetar's book. I can see now why I've always had interests in etymology and genealogy - I want to go back to the source. There were many revelations I learned about myself and this book helped me with one of the areas where I had difficulty - self-acceptance. I am forever grateful.

I do agree that this is not a book for everyone. I would recommend this book to people who have a spiritual nature and/or who know their need for "quiet time".

This is not particularly a book of guidance for monastic or mystical spirituality, but a psychologist's tribute to what she considers "self-actualizing" lifestyles of personal fulfillment (among the author's other books is "Do What You Love And The Money Will Follow"). At times she shows an awareness that her perspective is not fully coherent with the traditions of monastic or mystical spirituality, for instance when she acknowledges that St. John of the Cross would not describe his spirituality as "self-actualizing," which is an understatement since John of the Cross insists on the necessity of dying to all one's own will and desires and needs, in order to be empty of oneself and able to be filled with God, the one permissable desire. I would encourage people to regard "Ordinary People As Monks And Mystics" as basically descriptive, and look elsewhere for substantive spiritual advice about such a lifestyle, to wise guides with deep experience in your own particular tradition.

As I read this book I called to mind the people the Rule of St. Benedict, the major foundation document of western monasticism, calls "Sarabaites," a "detestable" (his word, not mine--I am a solitary myself and have no desire to be harsh) kind of monk who is without obedience, guidance, and the discipline of monastic community: "their law consists in their own pleasures and desires: whatever they think fit or choose to do, that they call holy." A good question for the journey is, how can we laypeople best avoid the spiritual vanity of a self-constructed "holy" life or a preoccupation with self-fulfillment, and how can we most humbly and authentically, like little children, love God and neighbor?