Customer Reviews

The Other Half of Asperger Syndrome: A guide to an Intimate Relationship with a Partner who has Asperger Syndrome

5 star:		(21)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

My partner and I are both on the autistic spectrum, and I can't even begin to describe how valuable this book was for me (she hasn't read it yet, but plans to do so soon).

The first half is mainly about diagnosis. That didn't apply in our case, since we were already diagnosed, so I don't feel qualified to comment on that setion. The second half, however, is a gold mine of information on how to address one of the most important parts of any relationship: communication.

Those on the autistic spectrum communicate differently from the "neurologically typical". This book gets right into the "meat" of this matter by clearly and frankly explaining the different ways in which an "Aspie" (one with Asperger's Syndrome) interprets and uses language. It also explains strategies for both parties to use in bridging the communication gap -- rightly observing, by the way, that the Aspie partner needs to make an effort just as much as the non-Aspie partner does.

In addition, "Other Half" notes some other potential problems that may occur in your relationship (e.g., odd compulsive routines and how to deal with them) as well as certain strengths your Aspie partner will probably bring to your relationship that can be difficult to find in others.

If you or your partner have Asperger's Syndrome, this is not a book for you to miss.

This book is extremely helpful and supportive for those who have a Asperger spouse or significant other. It is very straight forward and tells it like it is. It was wonderful to know that I was not the only one who had to manage so many different aspects of our family's lives, but is realistic in explaining why it is necessary.

The book in not depressing, but realistic in the difficulities and benefits of this type of relationship. A good book to help you take charge and make sure that YOU also take care of yourself and know when to ask for some help.

I think this is a must read for anyone who lives with someone with Aspergers. It will really explain many of the things you may already do to support your spouse and why they work so well. This book would have saved me a lot of time and tears when I first got married. A quick read and excellent book.

Unlike "An Asperger Marriage", this book offers explanation and advice in hopes of developing understanding. My wife has found herself repeatedly experiencing "Aha's" as it becomes clear to her that I am not just an odd duck. If you only buy one book about relationships in context of Aspergers Syndrome, THIS IS THE ONE! I hope you find as much help and encouragement as my wife and I have.

This book makes a number of quite valuable and interesting points about Asperger's and coping with it in daily life. I found it a very useful source of insights. Certainly a number of the issues raised in this book strongly resonated with my own experiences.

One positive item about this book is that in being about intimate relationships it necessarily focuses on the issues of adults with AS. Although all writers agree that AS is a permanent condition, I have found this group to be very much underserved in the material I see, in books and on the web, regarding AS, which is overwhelmingly aimed at parents of AS children.

Another positive is that it is quite short, clearly written, and easy to read in only a few hours. The book is done well enough that I would have welcomed more, but shortness will be convenient for most readers. And by keeping the focus narrow, enough information is presented on the topic under discussion that the reader will still find a thorough treatment.

I especially bought this book for my husband, so he will be able to understand me better, but I've read it first.
It was such a relief to read, that the problems we are experiencing in our relationship aren't really my 'fault'! People always assume that I don't care, and treat them the way I do on purpose, because I am selfish, which upsets me terribly. Because nothing could be further from the truth.
Ms. Aston sets the record straight. I believe that her advice and strategies will make a big difference in our marriage. I hope that my kids will read it too, as they need to face the truth as to why it is sometimes impossible for me to tolerate a sleepover with giggly girls (especially when I didn't have a moments peace all day, because my youngest will talk and beg and never leave me alone, until I don't want to see another human being for a week!).
The only problem with this book is, that it is all from the perspective of a normal woman being married to an Aspie husband, because she only interviewed two women with Asperger's, who didn't have any kids. That's a pity, because instead of the normal women having to raise the kids alone, I had to raise five kids pretty much on my own, which must be the most stressful thing imaginable for an Aspie. I don't believe anybody I know appreciates what it meant for me to raise five normal children, who actually turned into extremely capable, normal adults (except for the youngest, who is only 12, but is one of the most happy, self confident kids around).
This book also made me realize, that I must be misunderstanding others frequently, when they say things they don't really mean. Her examples are often funny and made me laugh about the way I am, too. It's good not to make everything too serious, because it makes this book easy to read and enjoyable.

This book is my life support. I was being driven to depression and, probable separation, from my husband of 29 years. My life was so lonely; I thought no one could feel as I did. Finally figured out my spouse has AS, then ordered this book. It has a very positive tone which has given me great hope for my marriage. The author explains why marriage counseling is such a disaster, why the AS parent is disconnected during the teenage years, and, basically, helped me understand the good and the bad of my spouse. Next she gives suggestions on how to talk and respond to your spouse. I can't believe the difference! My spouse is a kind, gentle man who loves me in his own way. I have learned it is not a matter of 'would' not, it is a matter of 'can' not. This is a hopeful book for any couple (though it is really geared for male AS) who wants to become happier in their marriage.

After reading everything I could read online or buy, I found this slim little volume to be an absolute MUST READ for any woman living with and loving a man with Asperger's. Nothing else I've read has hit the nail on the head in such a fair and evenhanded manner. So much help that I intend to write the author to thank her.

Several years ago, my eldest son was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. On the way out the door of the doctor's office my husband asked, "Do you think that I have Asperger Syndrome and this is what is the problem in our marriage?" I quickly answered, "Yes!"

This book has been a Godsend. It not only made me feel as if I wasn't crazy or entangled in a disfuctional marriage but it gave me insight into how I can help any woman who sees in my son what made me fall in love with his father.

This book has allowed me to peer into my son's future and help prepare him to find and keep someone to share his life with. I also hope, someday, to pass this quick reading book on to my future daughter-in-law as an engagement gift.

The best thing is that I no longer feel as if I am selfish for my belief that "you won't get a gift you want unless you pick it out yourself."

What I really liked about this book is it's clarity and to-the-point writing. There isn't a whole lot of fluff (it's a short book) but it covers the basics very well. If you've been in a relationship with a man who as Asperger Syndrome for any length of time, you'll likely find yourself nodding your head, pleased to see that your feelings and thoughts are so well-addressed in this book.

What impressed me perhaps most of all is that this book manages to address some of the difficulties faced by the partner of someone with AS without making it seem as if they are a victim of their partner's AS. There is a refreshing tone of "this can work" throughout the book, acknowledging that, while some things can be difficult, men with AS also have some very redeeming qualities. AS is not a disease, and you shouldn't look at your partner as defective. People with AS just process their world differently. As in any relationship, partners need to decide what they are and are not willing to accept.

The book does touch a bit on women with AS, though it is brief and I feel it misses the mark somewhat. Still, I give this book five stars because I truly and honestly believe that any partner of a man with AS will benefit greatly from reading this. Men with AS may also benefit, as this book is a key to understanding his partner's experience.

I would highly recommend this book.

This book has prompted me to write my first Amazon review because of the impact it's had on me as someone recently diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. I've spent a fortune on therapy and have been labeled with narcissism, schizoid personality disorder, insecure attachment and so many other precepts yet have been completely frustrated by the fact that nothing has fit and nothing has made a difference.

Yet in this short book, every page I read seemed to speak specifically about me. My difficulty grasping figurative language, my complete lack of close friends, my inability to enjoy social interaction, my sensitivity to sound, my difficulty accessing my emotions, my stiff posture, my lack of facial expression, my intense focus on a single task, my need to have things perfectly neat, my career as an engineer, my poor handwriting, my lack of interest in typical male activities, and even the fact the people often mistake me for being gay are all apparently stereotypical of Asperger Syndrome in adults.

I only wish that I had discovered this book years ago to benefit from the author's keen insight and observation into the distinct behavior of this condition.