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Love and Other Impossible Pursuits [Paperback]

Ayelet Waldman
3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (91 customer reviews)

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Book Description

January 9, 2007
In this moving, wry, and candid novel, widely acclaimed novelist Ayelet Waldman takes us through one woman’s passage through love, loss, and the strange absurdities of modern life.

Emilia Greenleaf believed that she had found her soulmate, the man she was meant to spend her life with. But life seems a lot less rosy when Emilia has to deal with the most neurotic and sheltered five-year-old in New York City: her new stepson William. Now Emilia finds herself trying to flag down taxis with a giant, industrial-strength car seat, looking for perfect, strawberry-flavored, lactose-free cupcakes, receiving corrections on her French pronunciation from her supercilious stepson – and attempting to find balance in a new family that’s both larger, and smaller, than she bargained for. In Love and Other Impossible Pursuits Ayelet Waldman has created a novel rich with humor and truth, perfectly characterizing one woman’s search for answers in a crazily uncertain world.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

How a five-year-old manages to make the adults in his life hew to the love he holds for them is the sweet treat in this honest, brutal, bitterly funny slice of life. When Emelia's day-old daughter, Isabel, succumbs to SIDS, her own life stalls. She can't work; she can't sleep; Central Park, once her personal secret garden, now is a minefield of happy mother-child dyads. Since Isabel's death, husband Jack's only solace for the guilt of breaking up his sexless marriage with Carolyn for Emelia's (now-absent) passion and love is joint custody of William, now five. What Emelia cannot bear most are Wednesdays, when she must cross the park to collect William at the 92nd Street Y preschool and take another shot at stepmotherhood. Carolyn, William's furious mother and a renowned Upper East Side OB/GYN, lives to nab Emelia for mistakes in handling him. Carolyn's indicting phone calls raise the already sky-high tension in Jack and Emelia's home, but they don't compare with Carolyn's announcement that, at age 42, she is pregnant. The news pushes Emelia to confess to Jack two things she shouldn't. William is charmingly realized, and Waldman (Daughter's Keeper) has upper bourgeois New York down cold. The result is a terrific adult story. (Feb. 21)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

From Bookmarks Magazine

A few critics drew parallels between Emilia's life and the author's own; after all, Waldman achieved some sort of fame last year after she publicly announced that she loved her husband, novelist Michael Chabon, more than her four children. Alter-ego or not, Emilia and her evolving relationship with William take center stage here. But while some critics saw Emilia as narcissistic and wallowing in self-pity, others viewed her as a witty, resilient woman honest with her foibles. Critics similarly split over the characterization of William. A predictable plot, some stilted writing, and a tidy ending caused some displeasure, but the general consensus was that Waldman's heartfelt novel says something new about the expectations of women—and of oneself.

Copyright © 2004 Phillips & Nelson Media, Inc. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 352 pages
  • Publisher: Anchor (January 9, 2007)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1400095131
  • ISBN-13: 978-1400095131
  • Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (91 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #428,144 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

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Customer Reviews

I am looking forward to reading more books by Waldman. Cris  |  18 reviewers made a similar statement
Read it in 2 sittings. Book Worm  |  9 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
118 of 128 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase
If you read the reviews here, it is pretty easy to figure out who truly appreciates Ayelet Waldman's writing and who has a vendetta against her (the reasons are elaborated below). I am updating this review since the book is now the basis of a movie "The Other Woman" starring the talented actress Natalie Portman (as of this writing she has gotten buzz for her role in "The Black Swan" and promises to bring equal passion to "The Other Woman")

I discovered one of Waldman's mystery books years ago, one set in suburbia with a heroine who managed to set things right in spite of dealing with all the usual distractions of parenting, from car pools to household disasters. I liked the book a great deal as well as the author's writing. I knew very little about the author but I did receive a nice letter from her after I wrote a glowing review of her mysteries.

At the time, I had no idea Waldman was about to be at the center of a controversy, especially after she spilled her guts on her website, "Bad Mommy", writing about suicidal feelings, abortions and other issues which made some parents attack her viciously. You may still be able to see some of her posts at that site, although I believe she is about to end that blog and move on to writing for Salon, the online magazine. At this point in time, she may have moved on to other pursuits.

Controversy aside, I DID like this new book (Love and Other Impossible Pursuits). Many readers may not find the idea of a mistress who steals another woman's husband to be to their liking but it is to Waldman's credit that she doesn't turn away from the messier aspects of life or from presenting characters who are less than noble. Parenthood also is seen as both challenging and, at times, absolutely horrendous. I can relate to that. I love being a parent but have days when I fall into bed absolutely exhausted, glad the day has ended. Thankfully, those days are in the minority. But anyone who writes about parenthood or any relationship (marriage, dealing with older parents...take your pick) and leaves out the bumps in the road isn't the kind of writer I find believable.

Anyway, I urge you to stick with this book because you won't be able to predict where it is going and you'll get much out of learning how the main character evolves...and evolve she does. I actually found myself drawn to her....or, at least, somewhat sympathetic for a person who suffered that much.

Now, HERE'S WHAT YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT SOME OF THE OTHER REVIEWS and why some of them may not have given her a fair shake:

As noted above, Waldman has been the center of some controversy due to her "Bad Mommy" blog, a place where she actually writes openly about subjects which set some parents on edge, even to the point of hatred.Some are quite sanctimonious and judgmental, even though I have a feeling more than a few of them have some painful secrets of their own, ones they aren't so willing to share. Many people do.

Waldman was also a regular visitor to UrbanBaby, something that won't be a secret once you start reading Love and Other Impossible Pursuits, since it is mentioned in the book quite a few times. She is hardly a rabid fan of the site and she passes judgment on some of the other parents there. Fans of UrbanBaby may take offense from this.

Because of this, I caution readers to give this book a fair shake. Waldman is a good writer and she strives for integrity and honesty. Love this book or hate it but do so because of the book itself, the writing and whether it truly engages you. Separate that from how you may feel about Waldman herself. To do anything less is to be unfair to the work itself and to the world created there.
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17 of 18 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
As a guy unaware of Ayelet Waldman's background, I was intrigued enough by the title, LOVE AND OTHER IMPOSSIBLE PURSUITS, to buy it. I assumed it would be about someone who really wants to love but can't figure out how it's done or whether love exists. But that's not what this story is about. It's about a cold, quick witted mother, Emilia, who's got issues long as a hopeful kid's Christmas list: a dead infant daughter, an apparent know-it-all five year old stepson; problems with men (her husband and her dad); problems with women (her mom, all moms with infants, her husband's first wife). Kavetch she doesn't. She tries to keep going, but she navigates as poorly through NYC (could anyone be more hopeless at hailing a cab in the rain?) as she does through relationships--all the while refusing to condesend to using any sort of guide (a map, a therapist).

I enjoyed the evolution of her relationship with the smartest five year old in the world, feeling bad for all parties as they stumbled about. And I kept turning the pages until Emilia got to a really bad place that made her truly human but isolated. I didn't know how Waldman was going to convincingly bring this story to a conclusion, but hats off to her--she movingly pulled off the magic.

Along the way, I hope I've become more compassionate to couples who have lost infants, step-families and really smart five year olds. Next time I see fiction by Ayelet Waldman, I'll pick it. I imagine that like her heroine, she's tough, smart, boldly honest but unlike her heroine, she knows her way around human hearts.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Highly readable February 26, 2007
Format:Paperback
I really enjoyed this book, even though I set out thinking I'd dislike it, following the articles I'd read by Ms Waldman about her relationship to her husband and children. It was difficult to read this book without wondering what might be autobiographical: as in her articles, the character is very vocal about her near-obsessive love for her husband; she's a lawyer (Ms W is a former lawyer); the husband has been married before (as was the case with Ms W's real-life husband, Michael Chabon) and the character experienced a tragic loss (the character loses a baby to SIDS; in real life, Ms W had a pregnancy she had to terminate at quite a late stage).

Reading the book, I wondered about the reality of both the character and Ms Waldman: can a relationship continue with this kind of obsessive love propelling it? At one point in the book, the character talks about her love being a destructive thing, and I imagine it to be so. I found these kinds of questions fascinating as I was reading them.

I think Ms Waldman gets a lot of the emotions really right in the book. How Emilia can't walk by a park and watch children playing without thinking of her baby daughter. The fact that she doesn't want another baby, despite people telling her it'll help her heal. She, on the other hand, knows that a baby won't take away the loss of her dead daughter, and would instead prefer to sacrifice any future babies if this would mean getting Isobel back. From what I know, I think that's much truer to what someone would feel if they were in that situation. So a lot of this book rang true for me.

There's something quite nutty about Emilia, and, by extension, Ms Waldman, but that just made the book more fascinating for me. I'd love to know how close it is to her true-life situation.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
2.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyment and Other Impossible Pursuits
This novel was a selection for a book discussion by a member of a group I belong to. Even the title turned me off. But I'm a team player, so I ordered the book and read it. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Margery Leonard
4.0 out of 5 stars "A Story of the Difficulties of Reality"
As in the film "The Other Woman" the book it's based on, "Love and Other Impossible Pursuits" is about a young woman who marries a man through an adulterous affair, thus becoming a... Read more
Published 12 months ago by C.C.Cole
3.0 out of 5 stars The Other Woman
As long as she's married to Jack Woolf, Emilia's life will be hell. Having broken up her husband's first marriage, Emilia now has to contend with the unpleasant stigma of being... Read more
Published 15 months ago by Liz W.
4.0 out of 5 stars Liked this one a lot!
After reading Waldman's RED HOOK ROAD, I decided to try this book. I loved it in a couldn't-put-it-down way. I wish I had discovered Waldman sooner. Read more
Published 16 months ago by Denise Gibbs
4.0 out of 5 stars I liked this book a LOT!
It isn't necessarily a pretty tale: young associate attorney falls for unhappily married partner, steals him away from wife who doesn't appreciate him, tries unsuccessfully to... Read more
Published 19 months ago by Seattle Girl
3.0 out of 5 stars Gripping and Heartfelt, but...
Love and Other Impossible Pursuits is a novel I wish I had loved. I have deep respect for the author, for being brave and controversial, for voicing her own view on... Read more
Published 19 months ago by Jessica G.
4.0 out of 5 stars finally, a good novel!!!
Love and Other Impossible Pursuits

I've spent months looking for a good novel and here it is, a piece of first-class writing and a heroine who's witty and sympathetic,... Read more
Published 23 months ago by Pamela R Winnick
5.0 out of 5 stars Love & Other Impossible Pursuits
Author Ayelet Waldman: Masterfully writer, delightfully insightful, a writer's writer. Girlfriends: Discover Ayelet! Read more
Published 23 months ago by B. Gordon-Lucas
5.0 out of 5 stars a fun, quick read
Really enjoyed this book because I am a step mom who has struggled with her stepson, trying to find a balance between being too much Mommy and not enough distance. Read more
Published on February 5, 2011 by Marylouise Green
5.0 out of 5 stars Loved it!
Everything about this book was wonderful; the writing style, the characters, the storyline. I look forward to reading more by Ayelet Waldman!
Published on January 9, 2011 by V. K. Hersh
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