Customer Reviews

The Other Mother: A Lesbian's Fight for Her Daughter (Living Out: Gay and Lesbian Autobiog)

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book let me look at this woman as a woman first, then a lesbian, and lastly a mother. Abrams has a unique way of letting the reader in on her most intimate feelings, she does this by very often sharing journal entries taken from the time she was fighting for her daughter. On page three, I knew I was in for it, I was already crying. For me, this book gave me more a sense of myself as a lesbian. I have struggled in the past to find myself in the gay culture only to be left out in the cold. Nancy's book, not only details her life events that came to be, but she surrounds her story with other parts of her life. Her relationship, her work, her self. You really get a sense of her as a woman, just a person trying to make it in the world. The journey Abrams takes you through will make you angry. The way the system works for gays and lesbian parents is horrendous. Abrams and many others have to prove their relationships to their children, usually in a long drawn out court battle. I loved this book because I finally feel a connection, with a lesbian. Abrams pours her life out on these pages, leaving her readers to pick up their own piecies. She is not alone in her situation, she has just been brave enough to share it with the world. I am thankful she did. It left me with a better sense of what our community is fighting for, and why we need civil unions and other legal protections. It is easy to forget in the midst of the politics of it all, that this is about the love between a woman and her child. Yes, it is heartwrenching, but in the end reedeeming. Reminding all of us, gay or straight that the ties of family are beyond blood.

Given the current debates about gay marriage and gay rights, this book is a must-read. By telling one woman's story, Nancy Abrams makes a case for why it is imperative to make the legal benefits of marriage available to all people. But this is not just a political work by any means. It is a moving and well-told narrative.

Her writing style is ridiculous, flowery and forced-sounding. But the story Abrams has to tell is an important one. The book did get to me, although throughout most of it I kept cringing at the horrible decisions both Abrams and her ex-lover make as they try to work things out outside of the court. Still, it was worth reading, just to make myself aware that these things do happen. Until a more well-written book on the subject comes along, we'll have to make do with this.