Customer Reviews

The Other Mother: A Novel

5 star:		(27)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

My husband is used to my being engrossed in books, but he finally said "Hey, let's do something else!" That's a compliment to Ms. Gross.

I loved the book. I loved the way both points of view were made clearly through Amanda and Thea with opposing viewpoints that will never, ever mesh. I am not someone who rushes off to hold someone else's newborn, but I enjoyed the book, found the characters believable, the descriptions lush, and the interaction with the husbands quite true-to-life.

The ending held surprises, and I also liked the dynamics of the women's constant judgment of one another--so very true.

Yes, the underlying issue of this book is the opposing viewpoints and ideologies of one mom against another--in this case the SAHM versus the mom going back to work. But Gwendolen Gross also hits the nail on the head about the way that other women size each other up--in looks, husbands, children's behavior, volunteer work, and gardens to name a few. She also perfectly captures a mother's love, from the beauty of a newborn baby to the tender release of your firstborn into adulthood and everything in between.

This book is not only beautifully written, but the human drama creates tension that causes this book to be a real page-turner.

On the surface, The Other Mother is about the mommy-wars, specifically whether or not to go back to work after the baby is born.
Told in an alternating first-person narrative by two suburban mothers, one who works in the home as a SAHM (that's stay at home mom for those of you like me you may not know. I kept seeing that on message boards wondering what in the world it was until finally a friend filled me in) and one who continues to work outside the home.
The story centers around that choice and the judgments the two women hold for one another and themselves as they struggle to come to terms with the decisions they've made.
But it's also about something larger. There are no good guys and bad guys here. As I fell into this story, I identified with both of the women, feeling along with them their joys and resentments, fears and suspicions.
It's a story about being a woman in an internal and external landscape that is constantly changing. It's a story about relationship and history and love. And at its heart, mystery: the mysteries we all live with all the time, the questions we ask ourselves and the shifting answers.
The Other Mother reminded me that there's a conversation taking place. Sometimes we speak the words to one another and sometimes we only whisper them in the most private rooms in our hearts, but we are all telling our stories, learning our truths, changing our minds and walking the paths of womanhood, sisterhood, wifehood, self.
The writing here is both lush and precise, the details sensual. I found myself stopping to savor.
The Other Mother presents a true and familiar world in a thoughtful way that leaves you with much to ponder.

Gwendolen Gross covers the twists and joys and sorrows of modern motherhood in this delicately crafted novel. Her language manages to be both straitforward and poetic, so that I was lulled and enchanted as a reader of the prose. Characters are handled evenly, and as in life, all are infintely and simulataneously innocent and guilty. Well done!

I'm speechless. I have too much to say. I don't know what to say. I don't know where to begin. But there is so much to say.

Quick summary for those of you who have not heard of this book yet: 2 Mom's. A SAHM with 3 kids and a Working Home with a newborn. The WM moves in next door right before her baby is born. The WM asks the SAHM to take care of her baby. It doesn't work out. Instead it opens the door to so many insecurities each has about their decision. It opens up jealousy and competition. It ends their friendship. There are twists and turns I wasn't expecting. You'll need to read the book for those details.

As the story continues we truly get to know both Moms. OMG - I loved them both. I hated them both. I wanted to hug them both. I wanted to shake them both. I wanted to crawl into the pages and bang THEIR heads together. There was so much of ME in both of them.

As a former teacher I never felt I belonged in either camp. On the WM side I didn't have to worry about before/aftercare and summer camps. I didn't have to work till 5pm.I had 2 weeks off during the school year and the enitre summer off. On the other hand, I never felt I fit in with the SAHM's at the pool in the summer. Now that I am working part-time I still don't feel I fit in exactly on either side. I'm still somewhere in that `gray' area.

But there is something else I came to terms with sooo long ago. There is no right. There is only what works for you. For my family this works. For my family me teaching and working fulltime worked at the time until it didn't work. For the 2 Mom's in the book each works for them. What so many Mom's don't realize and/or forget to realize is that there is not a one-size-fits-all for parenting and finding life's balances. We all have the same goal - to be the best that we can and to raise the best kids that we can. Instead of judging each other for our decisions we should be supporting each other. Being proud that we can all make it work in our own way.

There is an online book discussion going on over at Chicago Moms Blog. Come join us to see what others are saying and add your 2 cents!! You can see my full review at My Life As It Is.

The "Mommy Wars" is a familiar issue for many mothers, and while this novel touches on that issue, it shows us that there is so much more to it than "work vs. stay at home". The novel is so beautifully written that being drawn in by the imagery and characters is effortless. The greatest reward, however, is that the author has taken this issue that is very "of the moment" and translated it into a beautifully written story that captures the nuances of how such issues really play out in real life.

I was grateful to find this book, as it allowed me to read about a timely issue in a creative way, and in turn, helped me to challenge my own beliefs. I would like to say that I have been sympathetic in the past to moms who choose all paths, but reading The Other Mother showed me that there was more to know about the paths of other mothers, and also about my own. Treat yourself to this book!

The brilliance in Gross' novel is that the "two mothers" each tell their tale from the standard polar points of view, yet we find as we go along that they are so much alike in some ways that they could be the same person. As a mother who has been in both roles I found her characterizations authentic and rich in detail. Although stepping into the shoes of the "other" can be a very intellectual exercise, Gross brings it down to earth by entertaining us with a mystery along the way. I couldn't put it down, and immediately ordered her other novels when I was finished.

I read the description of this book and was interested in it but once I started to read it, I grew more and more disspointed. It's very dark and has alot of unnecessary details. I also didnt like the fact that the author snuck in the kissing episode. I was halfway through the book and that came to surface. It turned me off immmediately. Will not read another book by this author.

Gwendolen Gross's The Other Mother is impeccably written - the prose is rich and deep and lyrical, and you'll revel at her sentences. Beyond the writing, however, Gross truly captures the various - and often self-conflicting - attempts of mothers everywhere who aspire to find the perfect balance in their lives but struggle even within themselves to do so. Honest to a tee, The Other Mother is recommended for any woman who has ever faced this struggle...and really, isn't that just about all of us?

The first paragraph drew me right in and I didn't lay down Gwendolyn Gross' "The Other Mother" until I had read the last page! Since every mother is always the "other mother" I was curious to find out what this woman author had to say about me. I was impressed by how Gross manages to keep a balanced perspective and never judges either of them even if you might want her to. What an accomplishment! When reading "Thea's story" I felt that she was doing the right thing but than I entered Amanda's life and felt just the same.I come away from this book understanding that there is no right or wrong and that each mother makes a personal choice based on what's best for her and ultimately for her children.
I read this book in my book club (a mix of working mothers and stay at home mothers. We had a fabulous discussion!