Other Mother: A True Story [Paperback]

Carol Schaefer (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: July 1, 2003

The courageous story of a mother who surrenders her child for adoption and searches for him 19 years later.--Booklist.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

A Literary Guild alternate in cloth, this wrenching account of a biological mother's reunion with the son whom her repressive family made her give up for adoption covers a wide range of adoption issues while testifying to the bonding power of motherhood.
Copyright 1992 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From School Library Journal

YA-- It is hard to remember the stigma placed upon unwed mothers during the early 1960s and 70s. Carol Schaefer was 19, in love, and pregnant, a disgrace to her Catholic family and a sinner against the Church. She was packed off to a convent home with girls in the same circumstances to await the her baby's birth. None of the girls had the option of keeping their children, and they were strongly discouraged from even seeing them after their birth. The young mothers-to-be were not to use their real names or form any friendships with one another. Carol gave birth to a son and spent the next 18 years haunted by his memory and her overwhelming need to find him. Although his adoption records were sealed, she surmounted all odds, and the two were reunited. This poignant story takes readers on a trip through sadness, despair, frustration, and joy. With so many adopted children searching for their roots today, The Other Mother gives a view of the other side of the search: birth mothers looking for lost children.
- Katherine Fitch, Jefferson Sci-Tech, Alexandria, VA
Copyright 1991 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 295 pages
• Publisher: Soho Press (July 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0939149753
• ISBN-13: 978-0939149759
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15.7 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #315,231 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Outstanding encapsulation of the birth parent experience., August 10, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Other Mother: A True Story (Paperback)

I recommend this book to everyone who is seeking to understand the birthparent journey. I am an adoption professional involved with searching for 19 years. I find Carol's book to be a gem. Carol has done an outstanding job of encapsulating the birthparent experience. She raises the consciousness of anyone who reads her story.

Adopted persons tell me consistently how impacted they have been by what they have learned. Empathy toward their birthmother is deepened and courage to pursue a search is enhanced.

Birthparents tell me how validated they feel after years of loneliness and anguish related to the loss of their children. Carol speaks their journey through her story. Powerful outcome.

Adoptive parents have also been impacted as they learn the effect of the adoption experience of birthparents. This allows them to better support their children's expressed needs which may include a search for birthfamily. Their empathy grows and their fear of the search and the birthmother diminishes.

Professionals also benefit from learning from Carol. No matter what role they play in the field of adoption, building sensitivity about the birthparent experience is crucial. This book can accomplish this.

I highly recommend this book to anyone involved with, or interested in, adoption.

Patricia Martinez Dorner, MA, LPC, LMFT co-author, Children of Open Adoption, author, How to Open an Adoption: a guide for parents & birthparents of minors, Adoption Search: An Ethical Guide for Professionals , Talking to Your Child About Adoption.

18 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Best Birthmother Memoir, June 21, 1999

By 

[e-mail] (Mary Anne Cohen) (Whippany, NJ) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Other Mother: A True Story (Paperback)

"The Other Mother" by Carol Schaefer is still the best memoir written by a woman who gave up a child for adoption. Although many others have come out since, none have surpassed it. In many ways, Carol's experience as a middle-class pregnant single woman in the 1960's is the archetypal adoption story, especially for those birthmothers whose families sent them off to Homes for Unwed Mothers. She tells her story in plain, vivid, and very moving style, that lends itself well to the movie this book became. As a birthmother myself, I found that every word rang true.

The reunion portion of the book is the fairytale that most birthmothers long for, but few achieve. Carol Schaefer handles this material with rare humility and grace--what in lesser hands could have become self-congratulatory and smug is presented here with wonder and gratitude--the wonderful reunion as a gift, not a right, nor the result of "doing it right."

This is a fine book for anyone to read--but it is especially relevant to those touched by adoption. Adult adoptees can learn a lot about what many birthmothers experienced in the 60's, and adoptive parents can gain insight into the "other side" of the adoption coin--the pain that became their joy. Birthmothers can see their own experience validated and brought out into the light in Carol's story--they will find themselves saying "yes, that is how it was, that is how it feels." This is a well-written, sincere, and lovely book, and the author's generous and kind soul shines through every page. I highly recommend it!

Mary Anne Manning Cohen: Birthmother, Poet, Origins Co-Founder

16 of 18 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Profound, Spiritual, Healing Journey..., January 25, 2000

By 

A Customer - See all my reviews

This review is from: Other Mother: A True Story (Paperback)

Jane Guttman [e-mail]

Inspiring... Eloquent... Healing...Extraordinary... A Mother's Tender and Poignant Love Story

The Other Mother has been a profound catalyst in opening my mind and heart to the birthmother's journey. Carol Schaefer has offered her voice as teacher, as guide to those of us who have travelled the tragic road of relinquishing a child. Her poignant and extraordinary account of the dark and despairing birthmother experience has fostered the expression of courage to seek further healing and resolution.

As I shared in my book, The Gift Wrapped in Sorrow, Carol's book is a sacred offering to those touched by the anguish of adoption.

I recommend this book to all who have endured the sorrow of separation and consider it to be a great tribute to every mother and child "lost" to one another.

This book stands as a classic in adoption reform and brings us all closer to our own humanity and compassion. This author, this mother has brilliantly captured the essence of the primal bond that characterizes a mother and her child.

Jane Guttman D.C., Author, The Gift Wrapped in Sorrow, Holistic Health Practitioner, Soma Sound: The Voice of Memory