The Other Side of the Closet: The Coming-Out Crisis for Straight Spouses and Families, Revised and Expanded Edition (Paperback)

~ Amity Pierce Buxton (Author) "When the initial shock subsides, straight spouses are typically devastated by what seems like a rejection of their sexuality..." (more)
Key Phrases: straight wives, two minor miracles, straight spouses, New York, Los Angeles, San Francisco (more...)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

Candid, compassionate, authoritative—a rich source of insights, information, and practical guidance… "The first major work on the topic." —Gay Community News "A much needed comprehensive study of what happens to husbands, wives, and children during the coming-out crisis.".; —The Reverend Jane E. Vennard, founder Task Force for Spouses of Gays and Lesbians "The new enlarged edition adds important factors, especially children’s reactions to a parent’s coming out. Well-researched and insightful." —Fritz Klein, M.D., author of The Bisexual Option "Anybody practicing in this area would be well advised to read this book." —Professor Arthur S. Leonard, New York Law School In two million marriages, one spouse is gay, lesbian, or bisexual. Having a spouse or parent disclose his or her same-sex attraction is a shattering experience fraught with pain, confusion, anger, and a profound loss of self-esteem. Amity Pierce Buxton spotlights this exploding phenomenon and reports constructive coping strategies that spouses and children have used to resolve problems of sexual damage, family breakdown, deception, and homophobia. Illustrated throughout by riveting personal narratives, this expanded edition of The Other Side of the Closet traces the family’s journey from initial trauma to eventual transformation. This invaluable source of information for spouses, families, and professionals is based on Dr. Buxton’s eight years of research, including interviews with 1,000 straight spouses and children, her own personal experience, and her counseling work with spouses of gay, lesbian, and bisexual partners.

From the Publisher

An invaluable book incorporating the author's seven years of research and interviews with hundreds of spouses with insights derived from her own teaching and counseling work. Contains stories and tactics for straight spouses and their families to constructively cope with a mate or family member who declares his/her homosexuality. Analyzes six key issues a straight spouse faces when a partner `comes out' including damaged sexuality, threatened marital relationships, conflicting spouse/parent roles, devalued self-concept, destroyed integrity and shattered belief systems.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 352 pages
• Publisher: Wiley; Rev Exp edition (May 24, 1994)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0471021520
• ISBN-13: 978-0471021520
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.8 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #267,374 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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  #12 in	Books > Gay & Lesbian > Nonfiction > Coming Out
  #18 in	Books > Gay & Lesbian > Nonfiction > Bisexuality

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

23 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It saved my life!, May 7, 1998

By A Customer

This book concentrates on how the coming out process affects the straight spouse, which is often forgotten when the homosexual partner is going through the trauma of the coming out process. If you are in this situation you will be shocked at how similar the stories in the book are to your own story! It deals with moral issues, parental issues, self-confidence issues, sexuality issues, and much more. If you are married to (or suspect you are married to) a homosexual person of either sex, this is a must read, whether or not you decide to stay in the marriage. Thank you Dr. Buxton for writing this book!

25 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars Less-than Helpful for Bisexuals, December 21, 1996

By A Customer

I was excited when I saw the title of this book. For years I had been disappointed to see that the mass media never seemed to take into account that a person who is coming out in a marriage could be bisexual. I hoped this book would be different, but it was not. If there was a reference to bisexuality in this book, I could not find it. I certainly hope that someone can prove me wrong. The message I read, however, was "wives, don't event attempt to save your marraige. It is over, there is no way your husband will ever be interested in you." This book leaves absolutely no possibility that a man might actually love and sexually desire his wife, but still struggle with being attracted to other men. I have heard others who have reported having the same reaction to reading this book - it lacks a true bisexual perspective. I would look forward to another book by Ms. Pierce Buxton on this subject that allows for the possibility that the person coming out might be bisexual.

15 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book was a lifeline!, May 20, 2000

By A Customer

This book was recommended to me and I reluctantly bought it - then I couldn't put it down. I kept writing 'YES" in the margins. If you are a straight spouse, you need this book to help guide you through the emotions and difficulties you are facing. You will realize that you are not alone. It was a godsend. Thank you, Dr. Buxton!