Customer Reviews

Otherwise Engaged : a Novel

5 star:		(161)
4 star:		(32)
3 star:		(25)
2 star:		(27)
1 star:		(33)

 

 

This is a brilliant novel. And I'm a guy. (And I have to say to those people who have written lonely one star reviews: it's a novel, get a life. It's make believe, just like, oh, I don't know, Barbie.) Funny, yes. But also interestingly profound. Which I feel, personally, is a fair fifty-fifty thing. This really is a book about the process (and it is a process) of engagement. I have a hunch, but no proof, that this is really a bio disguised as a novel. I like to think this, anyway. I like to think there is a real Eve out there somewhere. An actual woman. At least, I'd like to hope there is. On a personal note, I have to say: My girlfriend became the Bitch From Hell after we set The Date. She read this book and it was like she had suddenly entered a Valium haze. All of a sudden, she was calm, cool. The panic was gone. I think because she sort of identified with the main person in the book. She felt like she wasn't alone thinking she was crazy. The ONE complaint I have about this book is a line in the book that says something like, "a sock on the floor is a sock on the floor for the rest of my life" or something. Anyway, the same is true for me. For the rest of my life, I will walk into the bathroom in the morning and be greeted by nylons hanging over MY towel. And also, there's never any room in the medicine cabinet. At least I hope.

I am going to be married in four months. Assuming I'm not hit by a bus tomorrow or eat warm mayonnaise by accident. And I am going crazy. As a gift, my friend, Ann, gave me a copy of Otherwise Engaged, by Suzanne Finnamore. I was like, "you want me to READ???" She said, "Just read it." So I did.I would like my review to be a gigantic bullhorn to EVERY woman who is either engaged, about to be engaged, wanting to be engaged or wishing to be so. SOMEBODY FINALLY GETS IT.That's what I would shout. This book is absolutely important and wonderful. For the first time, SOMEBODY has come forward and talked about the anxiety that we feel when we are in a relationship. I mean the real stuff, the stuff we think but don't say and sometimes don't even admit we think. This is a very brave novel, and I am so personally grateful to the writer (Suzanne Finnamore) for writing it. Aside from being paralyzingly funny, it's all TRUE. She gets it. I have been going out of my mind thinking I am the only person who is feeling what I feel and then all of a sudden, SMACK. I read this book.I also saw New York Magazine recently because my husband-to-be is from NY and we subscribe, and there she was...except I didn't like one thing: they compared Otherwise Engaged to the Bridget Jones book and I read that (loved it) but this is really different...I almost want to say that BJ is about being single and Finnamore is about getting married, but that's not it. The difference is, to me, BJ is a really fun read. But Otherwise Engaged is astounding. Every word is perfect and you just read it and think, "I want to KNOW her..." There are so many good lines that I would wake up my boyfriend and say, "listen to this..." and he would say "what time is it?" and then I would say, "Just listen..." Because the thing is, it looks like a girl book, but it's really not. My guy was like, "This is really funny, who is this girl, this is great...that's so you..." This book gives me permission to feel what I feel. Validation, I guess is the term a shrink might use.Anyway, the only problem with the book is this: it goes from very funny to very deep and you have no idea when it comes. My copy of the book has ice cream stains on it because I laughed out loud and, well -splatt. So be forewarned. It IS this funny. Also, I hate the fact that the author had the nerve to end it. I NEED MORE!!! Don't borrow it, GET it...I know it's a little hard to get because everyone keeps selling out, but it's WORTH it. My advice is Amazon...only because all the bookstores in my area keep saying, "two more days" and they seem to be able to get books faster...Just don't combine it with food.

As I write this review, 186 other people have reviewed this thing- so the question is: What incremental contribution can I make over and above the other 186 people who've had something to say about this book. Well, I'll try and be helpful by summarizing what everyone else has said, dispel some myths, and help set expectations:

I avoided reading this book because based on what reviews I had read, I was afraid it was this "madcap romp through the bridal world"- I was scared it was going to be Bridget Jones Gets Married. I like Bridget, but "being engaged" and weddings are already superficial enough in this culture without the added bonus of slapstick.

This book is honest, genuine and really has very little to do with ordering flowers (don't even think i saw the word "florist," actually) or invitations (she does talk about addressing them and picking them out, but it's fairly quick). It's more about a person going through a transition in life and coping with the fears associated with those changes than it is about being engaged. I found it to be very similar to "Welcome to My Planet" by Shannon Olsen- Eve (from this book) and Shannon (from "Welcome...") both are transitioning and having to grow up and realize that they have to stop looking backward and give up certain things in order to gain certain things. I'm not engaged and never have been married, and I still very much related to that kind of emotional growth.

I also liked the fact that she's not a screw up at work- It seems a lot of these 30-year-old-woman books (Lucy Sullivan, Welcome to my Planet, Getting over it) are about a woman who's a mess at work and in her personal life- This woman is successful at work (six figures no less), and I could really relate to her a lot more- I'm a little maxed out on screwups.

It is a fairly quick read but- I've read other reviews that said it's a superficial book. They are reading it too fast, which isn't necessarily wrong- it's just that they are sorta being like those dogs who gulp their food down without tasting it.

This book is hilarious. Partly because of its honesty, but also because of some one-liners. For example, she's discussing the fact that Michael (her fiance, obviously) has been married before and discussing her feelings about being a second wife:

"First wife, second wife. I will always be second. Even if his first wife dies, I don't move up the ladder. It's not like being an understudy. It's so much more complicated. Second. It's so Nancy Kerrigan."

So far, I think this is one of the better of this 30-year-old-woman books, for what it's worth. Thanks Suzanne- Do we get a book on the next stage of life too?

This is SOOOOOO much better than The Girls Guide To Hunting And Fishing. I bought that first and read it and liked it alot, a real lot. So then I bought this book because Amazon said it was similar. Anyway, I think this book is so much funnier! I wish she had other books out.

I didn't expect to like this book as much as I did. In fact, when I saw it on my bookshelf I couldn't even remember why I bought it. Imagine my surprise to find a witty, honest account of a woman's experience with engagement, relationships and life.

The story is told in the first person by a woman in her late thirties who has given her boyfriend an ultimatum, which he accepts. As she moves toward marriage, she encounters many ups and downs and emotional obstacles, all of which are related in a straight forward manner, easy to believe and relate to. This is not a book about a woman who simply has to get married; she really cares about her intended, even panics at the thought of life without him. Yet she still experiences doubts and jitters, a clear illustration of the effect that marriage can have of even the strongest relationships.

I highly recommend Otherwise Engaged to anyone, married, single, engaged or not. There's a lot in it that everybody can relate to, whether her fear of commitment or of being found out, proven to be the 'phony' she feels she is. And all of this is presented in a funny, smart and engaging (no pun intended) way. It's certainly good for a laugh, but I was very pleasantly suprised to find out how much more there is to it. Enjoy!

Only kidding. This book is terrific, and to all the miserable one-star "the protagonist is too whiney"/"too self-absorbed" reviewers out there I can only say, get a life. It's a novel. Fiction, right? And it's funny. I read the whole thing in one sitting. Didn't even stop to eat. I'm male, and I've survived both a one year engagement and fifteen years in the advertising business. Suzanne Finnamore writes insightfully and hilariously about both.I wouldn't want to marry Eve, but there again I don't have to. I don't even have to like her very much. She's someone else's problem, and as such I enjoy her immensely.

This is a low-key but surprisingly witty account of the months leading up to the main character's wedding. Riding the roller coaster of one woman's doubts, fears, and hopes as her wedding approaches was enjoyable. The writing style is intelligent and sometimes understated, which only adds irony and humor to some of the hysterical moments in which the main character finds herself.

Quotes like, "They say swans mate for life. I wish they could talk. I have questions.", or "Suddenly, it's not just a sock on the floor, it's a sock on the floor for the rest of my life!" are priceless, delivered in the narrator's quirky but likeable voice.

I had thought that the subject of this book would be a bit tiresome, but in reality, I found that there was much more to this story than planning a wedding; It's a story about taking great leaps in life. I laughed, I cried, I wished my boyfriend could understand.

I'm an avid reader of non-fiction, history and politics. I generally would avoid a book like "Otherwise Engaged," but I'm glad I followed my wife's recommendation in this case (she said it was almost as good as a Dove Bar). I found this book not only well written and entertaining, but downright hilarious! I mean "tickle me till I turn red" and "pee my pants" funny! A tip of the ole hat to Ms. Finnamore for making this forty-something white guy laugh out loud.

Being an engaged woman, with less than four months to go, I repeatedly found myself nodding along with Eve's emotional roller coaster. This book is a must for anyone who's engaged and feeling like they're alone in their fear of "FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE". I can't wait to see what Suzanne has for us next!

This has to be one of the funniest books I've read in a long time. I kept laughing out loud on the subway reading it. The story of Eve as she goes through a period of elation then confusion and anxiety before her wedding is written in a birlliant, honest and extremely funny way. The writing style is brief with short sentences that add to the comical rhthym. Each chapter is a month that goes up until the big day of the wedding as Eve tells the reader exactly how she feels as she goes through work, wedding planning and life. The book also has some touching moments and draws you deeply into the story. My cousin who just got married said it was hauntingly accurate and painfully honest. Anyway I really recommend it, even if you can't relate to the exact situation, it is well-written, funny, and a great story.