Customer Reviews

Our Babies, Ourselves

5 star:		(64)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Although it is isn't a "How to" book, "Our Babies, Ourselves" is by far the best book I've read on baby rearing. Meredith Small presents different cultures' techniques for raising children, then analyzes them using an anthropological perspective. Small examines how these cultures differ in such areas as nursing, where babies sleep, carrying babies, and how quickly to respond to a baby's cries.

Small names specific studies as evidence. She uses research evidence, as well as her experience, to draw conclusions on benefits and drawbacks to these various approaches. She is not "objective" as one reviewer states -- she has her opinions, but she informs the reader what evidence and reasoning she bases her conclusions on.

The main message I get from the "How To" baby books I've read is "You should raise your child the way we say because we're smarter than you." Whether it's "What to Expect the First Year," the Sears books (which I agree with much of) or others (not to mention "Babywise"), the most evidence these authors give is "(unnamed and unexplained) studies say we're right."

Small presents the evidence in favor of quick response when baby is hungry, crying, or has another need. She also favors co-sleeping and slings for carrying babies, based on the research she presents. You can disagree with her conclusions (though I agree with most), but at least she is open with her evidence.

Besides further opening my eyes to other cultures and other ways to raise babies, this book was most beneficial to me in emphasizing that evolution determines how the human race developed and why babies have the needs they do. People pushing in the 1950's and 60's for bottle feeding, putting babies face down to sleep, letting babies cry it out, putting babies in separate rooms to sleep, etc., not only did it without scientific evidence, they also were going against babies' biological needs, determined by millions of years of evolution. Now I think of evolution and what reasons babies have for a particular behavior when deciding how to deal with an issue.

I highly recommend "Our Babies, Ourselves" to any parent interested in an anthropologically and biologically-oriented approach to parenthood, especially motherhood. It provides numerous data on how biology affects the parent-baby relationship as well as the baby's behavior and objectively presents how various cultures (including the United States') worldwide accommodate and/or neglect these biological factors and the impact that accommodation or neglect has on the parent/baby relationship.

I got this book when my baby was 3 months old and for me it confirmed every instinct I had as a first-time mother who knew nothing of raising a child prior to having one. I carry my baby in a pouch any time I can; I breastfeed; I'd let the baby sleep in my bed if I could (my husband and I have a waterbed and it's not safe for babies), etc. All of these behaviors are highly, highly beneficial to babies for specific biological reasons.

This is not a "how to" book, nor does it promote any particular approach to child rearing. It is objective and actually rather academic in nature, yet intriguing and easy-to-understand.

Read the book! It's worth it!

I've really enjoyed this book - its extremely interesting and thought provoking and well written. However, it is also gets pretty in depth into evolutionary science and biology. I have enjoyed that quite a bit and learned an awful lot, but it is definitely not light reading as far as that goes. It is more scientific than I expected, which I actually like a great deal, but it is different from what I originally thought I was buying. This book is less of a "how to raise your child" type book and more of an "evolutionary and biological cross cultural study of infants and children and how different child rearing practices influence personality and culture". Which I found absolutely fascinating myself. I highly recommend the book - but with the caveat that you need time to sit down and concentrate on it, which is hard to do with small children around!

Small's book on the biological and cultural influences on human development and parenting provides some real food for thought. I found it so fascinating that I finished it too quickly and wished I had more to read. The extensive reference list should be helpful in that respect.

It can be so hard to get out of the rut of what you are used to, even when you actively attempt to do so. This book provides some real examples of how parenting is done in other parts of the world, as well as what the biological reality of the infant is (which often clashes significantly with Western practices). I found the anecdotes very helpful for adding to a repertoire of mental responses for various situations - the story of the gorilla raised in isolation from other gorillas who couldn't breastfeed her baby properly (can be used to argue for our society's need to be more exposed to breastfeeding) and the story of the "difficult" and "easy" Masai babies, in which the difficult babies were much more likely to survive a famine because they were best at alerting others to their needs (helpful in arguing with people who think "demanding" babies are bad babies).

I also enjoyed the photographs. A very nice touch.

This was honestly one of the most riveting books I've read. I hope that others will read it and give some of the perspectives a chance.

I was very interested in how babies are parented in other cultures, and she has great examples of this from around the globe. However, after saying that all cultures are different, and there is no "correct" way to parent, she clearly advocates a certain way to parent (e.g., breastfeeding, co sleeping, babywearing, etc.). Fine, I agree, and I do this myself, but I don't think it fits with her earlier premise. She is also very repetitive. I would have liked more examples from other countries instead. The book is also poorly edited. At one point, she states that colic is only one end of "normal" crying behavior, and then 4 pages later, states that this view of colic is false (she tends to make broad true/false statements such as this, which are often a matter of opinion). I think that "ethnopediatrics" could be a profoundly important field, and that this book unfortunately does not do it justice.

I love this book! From day one with my son, I felt the instict to breastfed him on cue, hold him all day, and co-sleep with him at night. Needless to say, I received much unwanted and ill-advised advice to do just the opposite. Thankfully I am stubborn and I refused to do anything that went against my mommy instinct. This is a wonderful book that not only validates all of the above practices, but explains why our US culture is so adamantly against them. I have given this book as a gift to moms-to-be to show them that there is another way to parent. Thank you Meredith Small!

Instead of reading advice from "girlfriends" or "baby-wise" sleep trainers, new moms and dads should read this book! Accessible, yet based on sound science, Small outlines just how far Western culture has deviated from providing for the biological needs of babies. The author documents how two mainstays of baby care in much of the US - the separation of babies from parents at night and the practiced of scheduled (usually formula) feedings - violate the highly evolved biological needs of babies. The book also provides food for thought on topics such as colic, which is unknown in other cultures, and the importance of frequent contact between babies and caregivers.

I read this book when my first child was an infant, and have just re-read it now that I have another baby. Don't be lulled by what friends/relatives/society make you think you should do when it comes to caring for your baby. Read this book and make your own decisions.

This is the book I wish I had read BEFORE my son was born. So many "baby experts" write books based on opinions rather than facts, which can make it difficult to decide what is "right" for your baby. Should you let them cry it out in a crib to sleep, or let them sleep with you? Should you breastfeed on demand, or is it better to schedule their feedings? Are you scarring them emotionally if you don't respond to their every whimper, or will it spoil them to pick them up? So many questions that new parents have, and so many conflicting opinions to wade through.

Ms. Small has written a book that gives real answers to these questions, by showing what babies are: physiologically, emotionally and culturally. She backs up everything she says with real science, although her book is not in the least a dry dissertation. I found her information to be inspiring and reassuring. I especially liked that she didn't glamorize nor vilify, the child rearing practices of any one people, choosing instead to show how each and every culture makes compromises based on environmental and cultural pressures.

This is the most important book for every parent to read. I can't praise it enough.

This book gave an anthropological, evolutionary, perspective on infant care. I thought the most valuable insight this book gave was identifying the Western culture's focus on independence and how common parenting practices subconciously and consciously focus on independence. It gave me some perspective on why I was doing what I was doing.

You can tell she is a proponent of cosleeping, babywearing, and breastfeeding. So she emphasizes the positive health advantages of doing these things and how doing these things are more in line with meeting the biological/evolutionary needs of a baby, but she does continue that not doing these things, or doing these things on various continuums, do become cultural norms in order for parents to get the things done that they need to do. And that other cultures, (besides Western culture) do wean their babies, or allow other people to carry their babies, or have the baby sleep in their own bed, but in the same room. She notes that the Western culture is extreme in not doing these things, which is fine, but because it goes against a babies evolutionary/biological needs the trade off is generally a baby who cries more.

I liked the fact that this wasn't a how to book. I liked it because it described how some primitive cultures care for their baby, and I liked the fact that primitive cultures had behaviors that I felt weren't perfect. I liked it because it allows you to think about various parenting choices and analyze the motivations of your choices and whether or not you are willing to accept the possible consequences.

I am a family physician and mother of 3 girls. I am ashamed that this information is not being made available to those in the medical field. Or rather that we/they are not open to recieving it. I knew as a new mother that it was "wrong" to leave my child screaming in her crib but my colleague physician (never a mother herself) said it was the "right" thing to do. I listened to my heart but only after much conflict and conflicting messages being communicated overtly and covertly to my child I'm sure. I've subsequently read THE CONTINUUM CONCEPT to which Ms Small refers and armed with both of these books I intend to return to the halls of academia and medical training to reeducate the doctors of the new millenium (if I'm not laughed out of the classroom or the office!) Regardless, as a mother of 3 under 8 years of age I've been reinspired to stick to my instincts in childcare and love from the heart and less from the head!