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Our Fathers, Ourselves: Daughters, Fathers, and the Changing American Family Hardcover – May 10, 2011


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Product Details

  • Hardcover: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Rodale Books (May 10, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1605293601
  • ISBN-13: 978-1605293608
  • Product Dimensions: 0.9 x 5.8 x 8.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #907,828 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

“A fascinating journey into the world of fathers and daughters – a place at once familiar and fraught with mystery. Writing with insight and emotion, Peggy Drexler has delivered an operating manual for father-daughter relationships that is also a tender reflection on the loss of her own father. Our Fathers, Ourselves will give you a whole new understanding of the man you call Dad – or the man your children call Dad.” --Arianna Huffington, president and editor in chief of Huffington Post Media Group
 
“This is a book I could have used growing up. Like a lot of daughters, I would occasionally look at my father and ask myself: Who is this man? Peggy Drexler has combined research, her own curiosity and the stories of fascinating women in search of an answer. She helps us break through the assumptions, hopes and myths to discover the real man behind them.” --Bette Midler
 
“I’ve spent my career working to understand families – both as a clinician and a teacher. This book has expanded my thinking and forced me to reevaluate and question my assumptions. In a generation, fathers have gone from provider, protector and lord of the household to a role in search of definition. Studies show that fathers are more involved in the lives of children – but as a supporter and advisor, not a lawgiver. The numbers show that women are storming the gates of possibility – giving them more in common with the world of their fathers. This book is a valuable guide for any daughter and father, as families continue to pass through a time of incredible change.” --Linda Carter, Ph.D., Clinical Associate Professor in Psychiatry and Director, Family Studies Program at New York University Child Study Center
 
“This book struck a chord because I would not be where I am today if it weren’t for the love and support of my dad. So much of who I am and how I approach life, I learned from him. I recommend this book to anyone interested in this special relationship between fathers and daughters.” --Bobbi Brown, Makeup Artist and Founder of Bobbi Brown Cosmetics
 
“Peggy Drexler maps the largely unexplored regions of father-daughter relationships in this insightful and heartfelt book. In scenes both of pain and joy she explores the ancient dance of love and longing between fathers and daughters. If you’ve been a father or a daughter, or even watched such a relationship play itself out, you’ll want to read this book.” --Alan Alda
 
“Dr. Peggy Drexler sheds new light on preconceived notions of parenting roles. Our Fathers, Ourselves is a fascinating look into how our fathers influence us. A must-read for any parent and all daughters.” --Tory Burch, founder and CEO, Tory Burch LLC
 
“A compelling, passionate argument for the influence of fathers on girls’ confidence and self-esteem. In these moving and insightful profiles, readers learn from role models (the good and the bad) about what it means to be a father. Drexler has upended a powerful stereotype about the trivial role of dads and fills a crucial hole in the research on girls and families.” --Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl
 
“This book will help you build a stronger, better relationship with dad – and in the process give you a resource you might not even know you have. Sometimes the most valuable things are hidden in plain sight.” --Laurie David, author of The Family Dinner, producer of Academy Award-winning documentary “An Inconvenient Truth”

“As one of three girls with a father whom we loved and revered, I lapped up every word of Drexler's book as it validated the very important role fathers play in shaping so many facets of their daughters’ lives. Kudos to Drexler for researching this under-mined area of human interaction.” --Lee Woodruff, Author, Perfectly Imperfect

About the Author

DR. PEGGY DREXLER is a research psychologist, author and an Assistant Professor of Psychology in Psychiatry at the Weill Medical College of Cornell University. She has written Raising Boys Without Men which was a finalist for Books for a Better Life Award and a Lamda Literary Award. A former gender scholar at Stanford University, she speaks at colleges and universities across the country. She is an expert on the impact of gender on individuals and families and has appeared on and written for a wide range of national and international media, including: The Today Show, Good Morning America, NPR, The New York Times, USA Today, Good Housekeeping and Parents magazines. Her columns appear regularly on Huffington Post.


More About the Author

I've spent my career studying sex and gender: men and women, boys and girls, and how they come together in families. As the concept of family continues to pass through a time of stress and redefinition, my research has taken me deep into the lives of individuals across the country. I've explored who they are, what they want, and how they are changing. It's been a fascinating journey.

In part because of the loss of my father at an early age, I've had a life-long interest in how children are affected and shaped by their relationships with the men and women in their families. I've looked at how these early associations influence how they live, work and love -- and how content they are with the adults they have become.

Our Fathers, Ourselves: Daughters, Fathers, and the Changing American Family is about the changing connection between fathers and daughters. Using my personal story, research and the first-person stories of the many women I've interviewed, the book examines the state of a powerful bond in a time of unbridled female choice and opportunity. It explores how daughters can enhance the bond, and even recreate it, by breaking through the roles and assumptions of the past.

My first book was the much discussed, Raising Boys Without Men. It introduced readers to boys in single and two-mother families. The book earned wide praise and was a finalist for a Books for a Better Life Award and a Lamda Literary Award.

I've been fortunate to share my ideas and findings in a variety of academic settings, including presentations at Harvard Law School and Harvard Medical School.

I've also appeared on and written for a wide range of national and international media, including: The Today Show, Good Morning America, NPR, The New York Times, USA Today, Good Housekeeping and Parents magazines. My columns appear regularly on Huffington Post.

I am a long-married mother of a son and daughter. I live in New York City with my husband and two yellow Labrador Retrievers.

Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By gemelli2 on June 21, 2011
Format: Hardcover
Dr. Drexler has authored a book which is entertaining yet at the same time insightful and stays with you past the printed page. Through this book's examples of real life father-daughter relationships documented through interviews with various daughters, the author has managed to present an analysis which allows the reader to evaluate their own relationship with their father (and parents, for that matter). So, not only are you able to laugh and cry from the stories presented here but you are able to come away with an understanding of what their meaning is in the context of a father-daughter relationship. Everyone can take something from this book - I highly recommend it!
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By CR2011 on June 21, 2011
Format: Hardcover
I found Our Fathers, Ourselves to be insightful, humorous, and deeply moving all at the same time. The book contained a rich variety of remarkable stories from a diverse group of women as well as valuable advice from the author - truly interesting to read. It's fascinating how influential our childhood relationships with our fathers are on the rest of our lives and this book has the wonderful impact of allowing readers to reflect on their own lives while reading about others. I would recommend this book to all fathers and daughters out there!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Careful Buyer on October 25, 2011
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
I expected more insights into this complex relationship. The importance and durability of father daughter relationship, but no real insights into how to make it better, which is what I was looking for. The case discussions were a bit disjointed making reading somewhat laborious. A concept organization, supported by examples, would have been easier to read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Alexander Cleberg on February 7, 2013
Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
If you are done reading practical how to guides and want to learn the long term effects of fathering, read this book. Having read enough practical guides on raising kids and being a dad, I searched for something different. While reading of grown daughters account of their father, I learned the special role I have in shaping my daughters view of men, gender roles and even herself. While it is one thing to read, "Listen to your children." It is quite another to hear a grown women reflect on how she was able to develop an ability to reason and argue by having her dad listen.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful By clg on June 21, 2011
Format: Hardcover
As a self-described "Daddy's Girl," who was raised at slightly arm's distance, Our Fathers, Ourselves gave me a lot to think about and sheds some light as I watch my father today interact with his granddaughter. She offers thoughtful insights and tips on how to repair relationships and/or how to move on. I found it valuable and I think it would speak to every generation.
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