Alexandra and Jenny have been best friends for a long time. But when Alexandra is momentarily dazzled by the glamour of a new girl at school, she's willing to do almost anything to get to be the cool girl's friend. Ultimately, she tells Jenny's biggest, most important secret--and just like that, Alexandra is in! But when Alexandra realizes what it feels like to lose her best friend, and sees the hurt she's caused, she knows she has to figure out a way to regain the relationship that's far more important to her than being invited to sit with the popular girls. Our Friendship Rules is both a lyrical story of forgiveness and a simple, sweet but instructive tale of how to get along.
Award-winning author Peggy Moss worked as a teacher, Assistant Attorney General, and Assistant Director for the Center for the Prevention of Hate Violence before beginning her writing career.
Her books are used in homes, schools and agencies around the world to start conversations about friendship and bullying. Schools from Shanghai to Maine have introduced "Say Something" days, created school murals, and developed bullying workshops and theater programs using the book. Former First Lady Barbara Bush chose to read Say Something for her literacy program, and the ADL uses Say Something in its Words That Heal program.
Students have written papers and stories based on both books, including the sequel "Do Something" by 3d graders in Rochester New York, and many readers have sent their own funny, insightful and sweet friendship rules to the author.
Peggy works with students, educators and parents throughout North America. She believes kids are the real experts on bullying and teasing.
How the Books Came to Be:
Peggy wrote Say Something after meeting "Sara" at the end of a workshop on preventing hate violence. Sara was training to become a school nurse, and Peggy had just spent 3 hours talking about the impact of bullying and teasing on kids, and developing strategies to help kids talk about the issues they encountered.
Sara said, "That most painful workshop I've ever experienced." (Which made Peggy think she'd really blown it), but then Sara explained that it was painful in an enlightening way: her own school experience as a nightmare - kids put notes on her back, spread rumors about her, and shifted away so that they wouldn't have to sit next to her on the bus. Sara begged her parents to let her leave that school. Her parents told her to buck up. A few months later, Sara started to injure herself. When her parents realized what was happening they were horrified. They moved.
"But that's not what I wanted to talk to you about," she told Peggy.
"About two weeks ago, a woman walked up to me on the street and said, 'Sara? Sara? Is that you? You look so great!' I had no idea who she was. She just kept talking. 'Sara, I went to high school with you... and I just wanted to say, I always felt so sorry for you in school.' I looked at this woman and I could tell she wanted me to say 'Thanks for feeling sorry for me,' or 'Oh, that's nice.' - but I couldn't say that. All I could think was, 'you never once said 'hi' to me. You never spoke up for me. You never even sat next to me.'
I didn't respond. I just looked at her and turned away."
Say Something is a story about the power of speaking up in your own way. (Which may not include words), because the cost of doing nothing is too high.
Our Friendship Rules is a collaboration between Peggy and her niece, Dee Dee Tardif, who was 14 when they started working on the story. Together, they wanted to write a book that talked about how friendship really feels - that it's sometimes hard and complicated, but it's possible to keep friends even when you mess up. (And let's be honest - everybody messes up sometimes). They wrote the book while Dee Dee was living in Toronto, and Peggy was living in Sri Lanka, and then Freeport, Maine.
You can contact Peggy directly by visiting her site, SaySomethingNow.com Peggy lives with photographer John Beebe and their daughters in Toronto, Canada.
