Customer Reviews

Our Kind of People: Inside America's Black Upper Class

5 star:		(53)
4 star:		(44)
3 star:		(68)
2 star:		(45)
1 star:		(59)

 

 

I must admit that I read this book prior to attending graduate school at Yale University. One of the sole reasons I picked up this read was because I had not grown up being spoon fed with silver, but rather I wanted to become more acquainted with those I knew I would be coming across attending an Ivy League school such as this. I echo sentiments that this book had to be eaten in small portions because of its repetitiveness and my general amazment and reaffirmation of the bias that goes on within my own Black community. Yet, I feel the book sufficiently prepared me for those Jack and Jillers (and everything else inbetween) I have since met and the history behind the Black elite in general.

It is wonderful to know that the Black elite existed and still exists to this day. Nevertheless, the absence of respect portrayed within this book from elite Blacks to one another and to those of less fortune is sad and disappointing. No individual regardless of race, class, or creed should be treated in this manner. For those who have read or are considering reading this book, do so with an open mind and take care not to become disenchanted by the words on the page. I have used this literature as an opportunity to appreciate my own upbringing from parents who simply told me to work hard and your efforts will pay off. For me, this world and its simple pleasures are nothing compared to the eternal one that awaits us all.

I resisted reading this book because of all the controversy and hype that it attracted. When I saw it on the L.A. Times bestseller list and the N.Y. Times list, and then in my Book of the Month club magazine, I figured it was a book for white people to learn about wealthy blacks. After seeing it on Essence's September bestseller list, I broke down and read it. I've lived many of the experiences that are in this book--the Martha's Vineyard crowd, Howard U. relatives, debutante cotillions, Jack & Jill parties--and the stuff is true. We may not want to hear it, but this book is chock full of dates and history about when and why these groups got started. We hear all this information about whites in other social history books. Why is it so controversial when we learn about the truth behind wealthy blacks? Yeah, it's gossipy and showy, but there are lots of interviews and stories about incredible black politicians, entrepreneurs, physicians, attorneys, college presidents and others whom we should be proud to know about. Just because the author isn't profiling Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, and Puff Daddy, doesn't mean we should all slam the book. Black success includes more than athletes and celebrities. Why is everybody so afraid of it? The pictures of famous families and data on the colleges and our fraternities, alone, made Our Kind of People an important social history. I didn't like a lot of the snobbery of some of the people, but the experiences and information they shared gave me an insight to a segment of black America that we never hear about.

After watching a rerun of BET Tonight with Tavis Smiley last night, I felt that I had to respond to the negative comments made against this book.

I did not want to read this book because I was convinced that it fed into the negativity of colorism that is still pervasive in our community. In the book, Graham does constantly talk about the right skin complexion, the right pedigree, the right religion and the right education. After a while, I must admit, it did get tiresome. That is besides the point. I think that this publication provides a good starting point for the discussion of CLASS in the African American community . I am truly sadden that we do not always celebrate individuals who achieved in the face of societal racism. You have be an athlete or a performer to have money. We have glamourized the ghetto and "street niggers". The struggling single black mother and the absent black father have become the most pervasive image we have of the black family. We automatically assume that if a black person does well without programs like affirmative action (like these individuals did) they do so at the expense of other blacks.

This book should be encouraged reading not because it is particularly well written (I don't think it is) or because infiltrating this world would be ideal (it would not be). This book adds to the complete history of African Americans.

Wow, The only thing more interesting than this book were the reviews. People should not get upset with Lawrence Graham, he is only presenting his version of the truth and while many parts of the book are kind of harsh to take, I believe there is some truth there. For all of those people who believe that we have abandoned our "slave mentality", I have some news, it is still there. For all of my 27 years, my skin color (very light) and hair length (very long) has caused me all types of grief. From elementary school where I was told that I was just a dirty white child who needed a good bath, to men I have dated in my 20's who don't want me to cut my hair or get a tan. It is still there.

Why are we getting upset at blacks who have arrived at the upper echelons of our society and who want to maintain a certain lifestyle? As a very smart, gifted child, I faced extreme torment and isolation in my working class neighborhood. I would have loved to be a part of Jack and Jill where my brains and ambition would have been celebrated. Now as I prepare for a career in the profession of my choice (law), I must say that I agree with the sentiment that no one who is educated really wants to hang out with some drop out from the projects and I am highly qualified and right to make this statement. After graduating from college, I decided to join an inner city church (Pentecostal) church where I felt my talent could be of use, and what I received in return was sheer resentment and backstabbing and torment. And for those of you who don't realize it, EVERYBODY has a caste system, even these church folk who represented some of the poorest among us. That experience showed me that it is nearly impossible and very trying to "get in the trenches" and help those less fortunate among us. Let me send my check in like everybody else from Chappaqua. And while we are on this topic, how come no one seems to be upset at Ms. Betty Shabazz, for all of her posturing and being lauded as this revolutionary, she was down with all of these snobs and so were her kids and she was not trying to help any of those working class folk over at Medgar Evers Community College become a part of her elite circle. The Shabazz message is clear, "everyone for themselves".

I agree that this book was boring and repetetive in certain parts, but in was informative and historically relevant. I am proud to know of the accomplishments and achievements of those who have gone before us and it has inspired me to go further with my life.

Moreover, I add to the young woman from Dominica, there are no worse black snobs on this planet than West Indian/Caribbean snobs. I should know as my mother hails from the Caribbean. They are the worst. They are fixated on skin color, hair length and of course, education and other credentials. In fact, they are probably the only group of blacks who can match the "black elite" and with good reason. Growing up in the Caribbean, you see people who look just like you accomplishing a great deal and they were doing long before Madame CJ Walker and the Links and the Deltas came on the scene!

This book is a great resource and it should be treated as such. The author is not condoning these attitudes (in my opinion), merely presenting them and it should be treated as a presentation.

As all thoughts on a page and in a book for that matter is a matter of perspective so is this review:

To truly appreciate the works of an authour such as Graham (while not neccessarily agreeing or sometimes not trusting his motives for writing this book and others in the past)is to understand from whence he came.

From his last book "Proversity" to this current book and all the previous writing that he has done regarding his perspective on "Black Folks", I can appreciated his transformation while at times being suspicious of his motives.

I graduated White Plains High School in Westchester County, New York with Graham. For our years at WPHS, I too was an outsider within my "community" and observed him from a far in his struggles to be accepted. And accepted he was not, nor did he stake claim to his African Heritage during those very important years of development as is his focus these days.

When I saw him in later years on the Donahue Show, on the Metro North Train-Harlem Line, and in other venues, he occured to me as trying desperately (in a bittersweet sort of a way) to awaken from the shock of NOT being accepted by White America as the prestigious law firm in NY and giving that up...to becoming a soldier in the trenches of the black community (at the Connecticut Country Club.) If this is how, we awake to a higher good..so be it. Many of us have been there. But Graham has chosen to do something about it. While I hope his motivation is not to right a wrong BUT to become a catalyst for providing proactive soluntions to race relations in America.

I DO believe that this author is living his transformation within the pages of his books. Not that this is BAD or WRONG, I actually think it has been helpful to all the color lines in America because he has walked the tight rope that splits the hard truths about racism on BOTH sides (Black & White).

I tip my hat to this writer for being able to present his HARD TRUTHS in a provocative way to spark so much success and interest. I LOVED "PROVERSITY" and agree with many of the Hard Truths in THIS book. ALL of us, at one time or another (and most DEFINITELY GRAHAM..as been a "WANNABEE" and tried desperately to fit in and played the name dropping, status climbing tunes). One of the missing link not clearly depicted in this book is simply the concept of INTERNALIZED OPPRESSION..which we as a people have been victims of (from the days of breaking and seperating the slaves to segmenting classes and skin shades). Thus, we have often times become the victimizers of our "own kind of people" as we struggle with what W.E.B. Dubois coined the "twoness of the soul." We often WANNABEE so much better than the black stereoptypical images used to oppress us that we are often embarrased by the so-called "disgracers to our race" who don't live up to our "arrival" standards". This syndrome of internalized oppression was in my opinion at the core of one of Graham's earlier editorials in Essence Magazine entitled the "SHAME OF THE BLACK MIDDLE CLASS" a group to which he selfidentified and was now beginning to seek footing. During this time, I imagine his was having difficulties at the Law Firm and realizing that a Black Man with a Harvard Degree is still BLACK in America. I guess it hurts when folks chalk you up to being a product of Affirmative Action and you graduated with honors on your own merit. I believe that this period is at the root of Grahams transformation as a BLACK MAN in AMERICA.

I think whether readers agree with him or not, his books should not be taken lightly. These books have their place and is very valuable especially to black folks living in America has we walk the tight rope between being AFRICAN/BLACK and AMERICAN.

Kudos! to Graham in his ongoing transformation and contribution to the consciousness in AMERICA. I am truly proud to have been a member of his graduating class at W.P.H.S. 1979.

This book was hilarious! It reads like something written 100 years ago. As a Berkeley,California raised Black woman, I find these views of "class" and skin tone bizarre at best and totally pathetic all around. This reminds me of a story about a club called the Blue Vein Society that members of my family were asked to join in the 50's. The entry requirements? You had to be light enough to see the veins in your arms! I'm not making this up, it was an actual organization! I thought attitudes like the ones expressed in Mr. Graham's book were as extinct as that dumb club.

I'm very fair-skinned with green eyes and long hair, and I'm what is fondly known of as a BAP (Black American Princess), because my parents provided a wonderful childhood for me. However, this did not include Jack and Jill, the Links, etc., because we laughed at pretentious people that joined these organizations. I socialized with people of all nationalities and hues (this is Berkeley, after all). At no point in my life have I ever feel better than any other Black person simply because I'm light. Why? Anyone with a modicum of common sense would never judge another simply by looks possessions, or background. That excludes people with Mr. Graham's warped perspective, of course. "Our kind of people," indeed! Not mine - I'm ashamed to know there are still African-Americans with slave mentalities running around spreading their prejudiced views.

I'm sure Bill Cosby, Michael Jordan, Diana Ross, etc., weep into their pillows every night because they're not accepted by the "Old Guard." Hah!

I thought this was an interesting read, since it chronicled a part of our history that has not been written about much. However, as a resident of Atlanta and having gone to school or grown up with some of the offspring and family members of persons mentioned in the book, Mr. Graham overstated their interest in making sure newer residents to these cities learn the old history. Some of the people he mentioned in the book are very humble individuals who would never name drop the way he has. As a member of some of the organizations mentioned, I can say that the commitment to public service is far more important than the "elite" status of current/prospective members.

Mr. Graham also made errors I couldn't help but notice. Dr. Camille Cosby is not a Spelman alumna--though she and her husband have been financial supporters of the college. He also mentioned that Vashti Turley Murphy, a founder of Delta Sigma Theta sorority was the daughter of John Murphy, publisher of the Afro-American newspaper in Baltimore. Mrs. Murphy was married to Carl Murphy, son of the publisher.

I hope Mr. Graham will continue to focus on a variety of topics in future writings. However, he should make sure his research include accurate dates and information.

As an attorney in my early 30s, I have heard my parents (who are also professionals) talk about the black "elite" many, many times. I grew up with their children and, to some extent, I have shared in many of the activities of the black elite. However, my mother, a dark-skinned woman, really didn't believe in that type of elitism, because she (being in her late 50s/early 60s in age) was discriminated against by those "brown-paper-bag test passing" elites on a DAILY basis. But we still went to country day schools, private schools, lived in exclusive areas, belonged to organizations like Jack and Jill, the Deltas, the Alphas, the Prince Hall Masons, etc. Lawrence Otis Graham's book is real. It made me proud to actually read a part of black history in this country that is long-overdue--that is, the history of our people ACHIEVING against ALL odds--slavery, Jim Crow, segregation in the North, etc. That aspect of the book is great. Also, it's interesting to read so much about the organizations that I participated in as a child, or the organizations that my parents belong to, from another perspective. I guess that I took "my world" a little for granted, and I never really questioned it until I was nearly out of high school. All in all, excellence is what we should all be striving for. We are known for being athletes and entertainers. It was refreshing to read about our accomplishments other than the stories about Benjamin Banneker, Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth, Dr. King, and so forth. Not to diminish their contributions, but to say that there are more black American achievers and contributors to society other than Dr. King and the usual ones that are quoted in the white published history books. A sad part of the book was the rampant color-based elitism. This type of elitism still exists today, but I believe that it's not as divisive. I think we've all gotten a little smarter, knowing that white folks are still laughing at us...all the way to the bank. Kudos to Lawrence Otis Graham for writing this book. I also liked Member of the Class.

I found this book unsettling. It was very well written yet the information was startling. My reactions ranged from disbelief to anger to disgust and finally a rather painful understanding. Some of the beliefs chronicled I ruefully remembered my own grandmother mouthing. The phrases and dictates recorded in this book was uncomfortably familiar from the days of my own youth. In a sense I garnered a stronger understanding of my grandmother's world and called her immediately upon finishing the book to tell her so. Just to see in print the blatant lack of respect for our darker hued brothers and sisters caused something to twist inside me. I can't say that I enjoyed this book but I feel better educated because of it. It WAS nice to learn of all the wealthy blacks that have lived in relative obscurity.

Lawrence Otis Graham wrote a book that ended up being disliked by plenty of Afro-Americans (as the reviews on this site make clear), yet hugely popular. And one must wonder about this development. Like many readers I found the book to be mediocre and felt annoyed with Graham for claiming that the Afro-American elite are principally concerned about who your family is, no matter what you, personally, have accomplished. In that he is thoroughly wrong. Maybe a very very tiny fraction of the elite is obsessed with something so trivial and insignificant. But coming from a family who has been part of the elite for quite some time and having grown up amongst plenty such people, I can attest that no one I know of would think less of, say, an Afro-American cardiovascular surgeon who grew up in a public housing project, never knew his father, and had eight siblings all by different fathers. In fact, they would probably feel more respect for him for having risen from such an environment to accomplish all he did, than someone of the same profession who came from a home where his parents were doctors or lawyers. So I can understand the anger of a lot of people at Graham for giving such a misimpression in a book that the major media has implied is the first and last word on the Afro-American upper class.

Then there is the other issue that seems to have stuck like a bone in the throats of a lot of Afro-American readers. The color caste system amongst the elite. First, I don't think that it's nearly as important as it was many many years ago. And second, I think that it is a misplaced concern. What I mean by that is that the real issue with regard to Afro-Americans and beauty is less that of color than it is other features, such as whether or not one has a chiseled nose (an issue that obviously was important to Graham who had plastic surgery on his), the right shaped lips, etc. And to prove the point ask yourself, How many men would turn down the lovely dark-skinned Naomi Campbell in favor of an overwieght, light, bright, damn near "white" woman? Of course the answer is few to none.

But this issue of what physical features are considered most beautiful is hardly limited to Afro-Americans. Countless Caucasians of different ethnicities have gotten nose jobs like Graham did (for instance Jews). And numerous Jews and other immigrants changed their names once they arrived in the U.S. to sound more anglo. Everyone who ever appeared on these shores to pursue a better life aspired to assimilate as best they could so that they could be accepted by the majority. Yet the only group who has engaged in extraordinary self-flagelation over this yearning (and at the encouragement of those eager to make us feel like second class citizens) have been Afro-Americans. We need to accept it as just one of many indications that we are just as human as everyone else.

In sum, Graham's book is informative. But it is also misrepresentative. And the pity is that in a media world that tends to pick out one source to represent different aspects of Afro-American life, it has received inordinate attention compared to other books that give a far more nuanced picture of the Afro-American upper class. But that's the world we live in. And I remain baffled as to why if so many people hate "Our Kind of People," it's been so popular.