Our Own: Adopting and Parenting the Older Child [Paperback]

Trish Maskew (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2003

Based on the author's experiences as an adoptive mother and foster parent, as well as interviews with numerous adoptive families, adoption professionals and adults who were adopted, Our Own thoroughly explores both the joys and the challenges of older child adoption. Suitable for families adopting domestically or internationally, it covers such topics as:

• Evaluating whether you have what it takes to adopt a child who's no longer a baby
• Choosing an agency and finding a child to adopt
• Dealing with school and language difficulties
• Recognizing how grief affects your child's behavior
• Deciding how much birthfamily contact is appropriate
• Teaching your child to deal with racism
• Handling difficult behavior such as tantrums and lying
• Testing for and treating attachment disorder, ADHD, posttraumatic stress disorder, hepatitis, parasites, and other mental health and medical issues

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

In this thorough guide to the adoption of older children, MaskewAa mother of three, including two boys adopted at ages five and nineAargues that there's a big gap between the fantasy of adoption and its reality. While it was once thought that lots of love and a good home would take care of the problems inherent in adopting a child, families and social workers now know that that is not true. Raising adopted children is not the same as raising birthchildren, as Maskew knows, and she offers ideas and advice that are both practical and extensive. She deals with racism, problems around the holidays, disabled and special-needs children, and international adoptees. In a society that still views adoption as second best to birthing a child, Maskew sees commitment and support as the keys; love will come along. An excellent chapter on medical diagnosis and a full bibliography that includes books, periodicals, web sites, clinics, and published reports round out this title. Excellent for all public libraries.ALinda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PA
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

Raising adopted children is not the same as raising birthchildren, as Maskew knows, and she offers ideas and advice that are both practical and extensive. -- Library Journal --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 284 pages
• Publisher: Snowcap Press (September 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0966970152
• ISBN-13: 978-0966970159
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #403,683 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

62 of 62 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Informative and Honest, July 23, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Our Own: Adopting and Parenting the Older Child (Hardcover)

This book was purchased along with Adopting The Hurt Child byKeck. My husband and I are planning on adopting older siblings, andwe were looking for resources to prepare us as much as possible. Unlike Keck trying to make a statement about the system our children find themselves mixed up in, Trish Maskew provides a realistic approach to the actual adoption and parenting of older children. She gave us a realistic perspective on the children in a positive way. She informs you of many possibilities in a way which does not scare you into changing your mind. Surprisingly, after having read her book, we are more determined that this is what we want to do. We also feel confident that we are fundamentally educated and prepared. She provides many up-to-date resources in Appendix form, and also gives real-life examples of how to make a not-so good situation better. She provides numerous examples of problem solving ideas, along with very informative reference information about many of the problems Our children face. Many of her comments about sensitive comments people can make hit home with me, and I appreciated her down-to-earth language. I found this book a very easy read, and finished it in a couple of hours. I highlighted numerous points throughout her book to share with my husband. I also noted numerous suggestions she makes for us during the journey to adoption. I would ABSOLUTELY recommend this book to anybody considering adopting older children. I am extremely glad that I found her book amist the scarce up-to-date resources.

50 of 50 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read - realistic but positive, March 14, 2000

By 

sssnoo (San Diego) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Our Own: Adopting and Parenting the Older Child (Hardcover)

I love this book. I have 6 kids, 2 born to me and 4 older child adoptions. One set of sibs came home three years ago, the other last August. This books makes me laugh and cry at the same time. I read so many stories that were just like mine - and I've never found this anywhere else. The book is well organized and covers at least briefly almost any topic that could come up during an older child adoption. The balance betweeen domestic and international experiences is also helpful, as info on international older child adoptions is really scarce. The author also does an excellent job describing and putting into realistic perspective the emotional issues these kids come with - although I think a lot of the material is probably most relevant to school aged children as opposed to toddlers and preschoolers. In my opinion, throughout her book she remains positive and encouraging. I don't understand the previous reviewer's comment that this book is depressing - far from it to me. It was inspiring and realistic, but also reinforced the truth that the joys of parenting older adopted children are beyond measure. Seeing a hurt child heal and truely smile with joy from the bottom of her soul, perhaps for the first time in years, is an experience that makes all others pale. Having this book available is like having a personal coach at your side. Thank you Trish Maskew!

29 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Authoritative and Awe-inspiring, March 14, 2000

By 

Sarah.Jane "sarahjayn" - See all my reviews

This review is from: Our Own: Adopting and Parenting the Older Child (Hardcover)

Trish Maskew interviewed me for this book, and I waited, heart in my throat, to be disappointed, saddened, or enraged. What a wonderful surprise I received! This book is heartfelt, unbelievably well researched, honest, encouraging, validating - the only piece that I found discouraging was that on FAS, and I have provided my comments on that section to the editor (so I await the 2nd edition ;) I edit a newsletter for adoptive families and have requested permission to reprint a few sections of this book. I read a proof copy and then read it again in its final version. This book is right on the money. I cannot stress enough how important it is for potential adoptive parents to read this title and prepare themselves for significant changes in their lives. Personally, I (with my husband) adopted older children - ages 9 and 11 - and I have lived just about every vignette presented.