Customer Reviews

Our Own: Adopting and Parenting the Older Child

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

This book was purchased along with Adopting The Hurt Child byKeck. My husband and I are planning on adopting older siblings, andwe were looking for resources to prepare us as much as possible. Unlike Keck trying to make a statement about the system our children find themselves mixed up in, Trish Maskew provides a realistic approach to the actual adoption and parenting of older children. She gave us a realistic perspective on the children in a positive way. She informs you of many possibilities in a way which does not scare you into changing your mind. Surprisingly, after having read her book, we are more determined that this is what we want to do. We also feel confident that we are fundamentally educated and prepared. She provides many up-to-date resources in Appendix form, and also gives real-life examples of how to make a not-so good situation better. She provides numerous examples of problem solving ideas, along with very informative reference information about many of the problems Our children face. Many of her comments about sensitive comments people can make hit home with me, and I appreciated her down-to-earth language. I found this book a very easy read, and finished it in a couple of hours. I highlighted numerous points throughout her book to share with my husband. I also noted numerous suggestions she makes for us during the journey to adoption. I would ABSOLUTELY recommend this book to anybody considering adopting older children. I am extremely glad that I found her book amist the scarce up-to-date resources.

I love this book. I have 6 kids, 2 born to me and 4 older child adoptions. One set of sibs came home three years ago, the other last August. This books makes me laugh and cry at the same time. I read so many stories that were just like mine - and I've never found this anywhere else. The book is well organized and covers at least briefly almost any topic that could come up during an older child adoption. The balance betweeen domestic and international experiences is also helpful, as info on international older child adoptions is really scarce. The author also does an excellent job describing and putting into realistic perspective the emotional issues these kids come with - although I think a lot of the material is probably most relevant to school aged children as opposed to toddlers and preschoolers. In my opinion, throughout her book she remains positive and encouraging. I don't understand the previous reviewer's comment that this book is depressing - far from it to me. It was inspiring and realistic, but also reinforced the truth that the joys of parenting older adopted children are beyond measure. Seeing a hurt child heal and truely smile with joy from the bottom of her soul, perhaps for the first time in years, is an experience that makes all others pale. Having this book available is like having a personal coach at your side. Thank you Trish Maskew!

Trish Maskew interviewed me for this book, and I waited, heart in my throat, to be disappointed, saddened, or enraged. What a wonderful surprise I received! This book is heartfelt, unbelievably well researched, honest, encouraging, validating - the only piece that I found discouraging was that on FAS, and I have provided my comments on that section to the editor (so I await the 2nd edition ;) I edit a newsletter for adoptive families and have requested permission to reprint a few sections of this book. I read a proof copy and then read it again in its final version. This book is right on the money. I cannot stress enough how important it is for potential adoptive parents to read this title and prepare themselves for significant changes in their lives. Personally, I (with my husband) adopted older children - ages 9 and 11 - and I have lived just about every vignette presented.

I read this as we were matched with a sibling pair - 10 and 12 yr olds and it was a godsend! We're 3 months into the adoption, this book was on the mark so many, many times! It is excellent and I've been reading many books on adoption - this one addressed what we needed - older children - not infants, not international. I highly recommend it to anyone involved. Some of the info may scare you, but it's worth knowing!

In preparing for our older child adoption I picked up this book for my wife and I. Of all the books I'd read this one was the most helpful in terms of preparing us for the diverse range of emotions and problems that would be involved. The author takes you through the experiences of other adoptive parents and helps you question your own desire and ability to adopt. Adopting an older child isn't for everyone and her point is to introduce the reader to that reality. If you are thinking of adopting, read this book.

Reading this book affirmed for me that we were doing the right thing by not adopting an infant. This book is chocked full of in-your-face warnings, but also celebrates your choice to adopt. Very informative. Easy to read writing voice. Great buy! :) I would also reccomend Waiting for You: An Heirloom Adoption Journal for My Future Child. It is an expectancy journal that works well with older children. If you're adopting, God Bless your adoption journey!

A practical guide to adoption of older children, full of wisdom, good advice and insight.

Trish Maskew writes that adoptive parents need a book about older child adoption from those who had lived it every day; she has succeeded masterfully in meeting this objective. Our Own has received rave reviews from adoptive parents all over the world.

True life examples from her own experience, along with quotes based on 20 interviews with other parents, bring an emotional depth and realism to this book that is often missing from other books on older child adoption. While Trish Maskew tackles serious subjects which may be disturbing at times, the bond and caring that Trish has for her children and for older child adoption transforms this book into something special.

Trish Maskew is a long term member of the Adoptive Parents of Vietnam mailing list and her suggestions have proven invaluable over the years for prospective adoptive parents. Anyone interested in adoption of older children will find this book to be of great practical value.

Anyone considering adopting an older child should read this book! It is both practical and realistic. It is honest in its description of the challenges of adoptions of older children and affirming of potential rewards. It is also highly readable-- there is an absence of jargon, and the case examples make the text come alive. A couple minor criticisms: There are only 2 sentences about foter to adopt programs (which is the way I adopted my own children, so I have a bias here). Going through foster parent training is a good way of preapring for the special needs of older children coming out of the state system, and deciding whether adoption is really for you; and fostering a child before adopting him or her can increase chances of a successful adoption. Second, I wish there had been a little more info. on adoption disruptions. Two case illustrations would have been helpful-- one, a situation in which the adoptive parents(s) received additional services or suport which allowed them to continue to parent the child; the other, a situation in which problems were so serious the adoption was disrupted. These additional case studies could have provided a yardstick for other adoptive parents considering termination. All in all, however, I highly recommend this book. Maskew is an informed and credible authority on her topic.

Trish Maskew has managed to thouroughly explain the issues involved in older child adoption. The needs of the child are always foremost in her advice. She has interviewed and quoted knowledgeable members of the adoptive community. The book helps bring to life the daily challenges of older child adoption. It is also useful to anyone adopting children placed a few months to years after birth. Adoptive parents today are looking for tools to help them understand the needs of their children. This book is definately one of them. Jan King-International Adoption Alliance

Over the past 25 years of my involvement with international adoption I have placed many older children for adoption. I have watched those children grow up and many have become successful adults however there are countless others who could benefit from the wisdom in this book. It should be required reading for anyone interested in adopting an older child. Even those who adopted in the past and are now facing issues as their children have adoption questions can benefit from this book.