Our Turn [Hardcover]

Cyndi Hayes (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 1, 1993

In a compilation of extensive interviews, hundreds of divorced women past the age of forty describe how they coped with the emotional aftermath of divorce, the support they received from friends, and their developing of new relationships. National ad/promo. Tour.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Rather than collapse in despair, 82% of 350 middle-aged, white, middle-class divorced women involved in this study were found to "thrive" on divorce, spurred to forge rewarding, new professional and emotional lives. Examples cited in this national survey conducted by Hayes, who heads the Master's Program in gerontology at Long Island Univeristy in New York, and research coordinator Anderson, aided by freelance journalist Blau, reveal that these women tapped repressed or dormant inner resources, developed self-confidence and revived or developed relationships with family members and friends. Despite sharply reduced income, they pursued new interests and often discovered professional or sexual fulfillment without a compulsion to remarry. Women facing divorce will find encouraging words and valuable advice here.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews

A study of divorced older women that has important things to say to them--above all, that their lives may just be beginning anew after the long hiatuses of their marriages. Hayes (Director/National Center for Women and Retirement Research), Anderson (research coordinator of a recent study called ``Divorce After 40''), and freelance journalist Blau base their ``good news'' on the results of the Divorce After 40 study, which surveyed 342 women in their 40s and 50s who'd been married for approximately 20 years each. Eighty-two percent of the respondents found themselves stronger and more independent after divorce, and encouragingly high numbers reported better sex lives, enriched relationships with their children, a large and sturdy circle of female friends, little fear of loneliness, and a surprisingly low drive to go out and get married again. In analyzing the responses, the authors came up with four personality profiles: ``pausers,'' who essentially put themselves on hold during their marriages; ``slow movers,'' who had hints while married that they were missing something in life; ``rewinders,'' who were never happy as wives and leaped into new experiences after divorce, with sometimes problematic results; and ``players,'' who--ever in search of healthy independent selfhood--knew both before and after divorce how to take the good and build on it. The text is leavened with respondents' stories about how they learned to manage money, fight the emotional battle of letting go, and experiment with sex (sometimes for only the second time in their lives). The findings are limited to white, middle-class women, indicating that less-heartening news may await lower-class divorc‚es. And while there's plenty of sound advice for those who fit the demographics, the authors' cheery tone may fail to enthuse women in the throes of divorce. Still, their friends and caregivers will want to know about it, and the basic premise will be welcome to many. -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 320 pages
• Publisher: Atria; 1stEdition edition (May 1, 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0671740059
• ISBN-13: 978-0671740054
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (1 customer review)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,576,527 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Insightful, inspiring, enlightening, encouraging, May 6, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Our Turn: Women Who Triumph in the Face of Divorce (Paperback)

As a 47-year-old woman with three chrildren who just completed the divorce process (by choice), I was delighted to find and encouraged by "Our Turn" ...especially the aspects of growing up and discovering (or rediscovering) just what strengths and abilitities lie deep inside us. Sharing the stories of the different women, their challenges, triumphs, bumps and bruises was like looking into different mirrors and finding myself in, not all, but many of them. The book is well organized and lends itself easily to referring back to pertinent sections for rereading. The women's stories were incredible! I applaud their candor & willingness to share their pain, anger, joy, determination, and their recovery. I read the introduction in the book store and was immediately hooked. I purchased the book to take on my first solo vacation...to Cancun. I met two divorced women while climbing the pyramid at Chichen Itza. One chose divorce, the other did not. I was amazed how much their stories were like the women in "Our Turn". I encouraged them to buy the book and read it. Probably the best part was that, by the time I finished the book, I didn't feel quite so crazy or isolated. I knew I would be OK. I had become part of a sisterhood of very strong and resilient women. The authors have done a tremendous service. Their work has been invaluable to me.