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Out of the FOG: Information & Support for those with a Family Member or Loved One who Suffers From a Personality Disorder [Kindle Edition]

Gary Walters
4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $9.99

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Book Description

Out of the FOG was written by a group of people who have experienced a relationship with a family member, spouse or partner who suffers from a personality disorder.

Personality disorders are serious mental-health conditions which affect millions of people but which often go undiagnosed and misunderstood. Personality disorders often deteriorate the quality of life not only of the people who suffer from them, but also their family members, spouses, partners, friends, colleagues and acquaintances.

The acronym FOG stands for Fear, Obligation & Guilt - feelings which often result from being in a relationship with a person who suffers from a Personality Disorder. It was first coined by Susan Forward & Donna Frazier in their book "Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You."

It is the goal of this book to help inform and encourage family members, spouses, partners, friends and caregivers as they try to work their way out of the confusion, out of the chaos and out of the FOG.

The emphasis of Out of the FOG is to describe personality disorders from a Non-personality-disordered individual's point of view. In other words; what is it like to live with a person with Narcissitic or Borderline Personality Disorder? What’s it like to have a parent with a Histrionic or Dependent Personality Disorder? How do you cope when confronted with the prospect of caring for someone with Obsessive-Compulsive or Avoidant Personality Disorder?

The descriptions of personality disorders given in this book are based not only on the clinical criteria used for diagnosis but also on the experiences of people who have cared for someone who suffers from a personality disorder; what it feels like, what works and what doesn't.

We often think of people in simple terms such as good and bad, friends and enemies, loving and hateful. Personality disorders are not so simple and the people who suffer from them often exhibit behaviors which are at times constructive and at other times destructive. This often creates confusion for those who come into contact with them.

If you have a family member or loved-one who suffers from a personality disorder, it is our hope that the information contained here may help you understand these behaviors better and navigate out of the FOG in your own life.


Product Details

  • File Size: 3571 KB
  • Print Length: 873 pages
  • Simultaneous Device Usage: Unlimited
  • Publisher: Out of the FOG http://www.outofthefog.net (November 6, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00642W3F8
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #116,850 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars So much info, so badly formatted January 15, 2013
Verified Purchase
This book is certainly a wealth of good information for those on the receiving end of PD behavior or general poor behavior. It would be a great resource for when offline, but there is a small problem - no table of contents. This leaves you to trying to remember where everything is or setting your own bookmarks instead of being able to jump to particular sections/topics quickly.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars One of the more helpful books for "Nons"... March 22, 2012
By S.S.
Verified Purchase
This book has a lot of very clear, step-by-step advice for what to do and not do in response to a long list of BP behavior, as well as plenty of suggestions for taking care of yourself. I found it to be comforting, validating, informative and instructive. Many books on this subject do not have as much advice that can be easily located and directly applied.
I gave it 4/5 stars because the Kindle version has no table of contents, but I still recommend this book. At $2.99 it's a GREAT value!
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7 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The information and support has been very helpful December 7, 2011
By Cathy1
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I have found it very helpfull to be able to have access to all this information in such easy reach. I have been familiar for a few years with the information in the book and was a member of their on line forum that helped me understand why my mother and relationships up to now have been dysfunctional.

I shared what I have learned with the therapist I was seeing during that time and she gave me a thumbs up on my participation plus seeing her at the same time helped me to side step all the drama that once surrounded me.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Personal Validation and Support February 17, 2014
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Living with someone who has a personality disorder is challenging and contradictory. It can make me feel crazy, dazed, confused, unloved, angry, causing me to be off of my own emotional balance. Out of The FOG is a place where I can go to read and reread to bring myself back to my center. This is not always immediate. It is a process and it takes contemplating and meditation about the realities of this baffling disorder. Journaling is a good tool to practice when you are extremely overwhelmed and can't leave the person...Like moving away...divorce...etc...
It reminds me to take time for myself.
My resentment comes when I feel I don't have anyway out of relationship. I feel my feelings and I just want to leave. I get tired of the way I am triggered, time and time again, by senseless conduct, ridiculous verbal disrespect, character assassinations; coming from someone you married in church before God and family. I recommend this to anyone looking for the reality of the whys and for solutions that will help you recover and become healthy again.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars YOU Know Someone With a Personality Disorder August 3, 2014
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4.5 stars. "Personality Disorder" is a phrase that unfortunately sounds like someone CHOOSING to be a jerk. Not so; people with these mental illnesses have been shown to have different brain wiring than neurotypical people. (Although, like most mental disorders, there is not nearly enough clinical research on record.)

With an estimated 8-12% of the population having a personality disorder, this means if you know more than 10 people, YOU know someone with a personality disorder. An in-law, a neighbor, a co-worker, an ex or current partner, a sibling, a parent, a child. Possibly yourself (in which case, this book may be uncomfortable reading for you, though it may be helpful in finding ways to deal with the people in your life who ALSO have PD's). Like most mental disorders, there are spectrums and cycles - someone may show severe symptoms, others may show symptoms only occasionally.

Where this book excels is in the descriptions of what each personality disorder is, how it presents from the neurotypical's point of view (this would be especially helpful to a writer who wants to include a character with a personality disorder), the descriptions of what each PD is from the DSM-IV (although there is now a somewhat controversial DSM-V that is out) and sometimes from the World Health Organization's criteria for that PD. What works, in dealing with someone with a specific PD, and what DOESN'T work. (Bringing home flowers as a surprise can actually cause distress and suspicion for people with certain PD's, rather than delight and gratitude.) Where support and resources can be found.

The book is packed with links that take you to other sections of the book.
Read more ›
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Save Your Money June 22, 2014
By Jordan
Verified Purchase
This book pretty much is the Out of the FOG website transcribed word-for-word into book form. Everything that is in this book can be found on their website, and a lot of the information/sections in the book are repeated. Combined with the typos, this makes for a long, boring, and difficult read. I wouldn't recommend anyone spend their money on this book when you can get the exact same information for free on their website.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Best Book Ever August 28, 2013
Verified Purchase
Please read this book as it is for everyone who breathes. The book is easy reading with lots of help and solutions about what NOT to do as well to cope. I use it all the time and keep it ready to read on my tablet.
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4.0 out of 5 stars Invaluable information September 12, 2014
Extensive information and filled with extremely valuable skills that offer the reader guidelines as to how they should address, avoid and end emotional distress caused by their experiences. The book offers depth, relevant and helpful information to people who are suffering from abuse and for those who are seeking help to stop a using others. I can't compare it to any other book I have ever read and that is a good thing, because I have read extensively about this topic and found this to be one of the most helpful I have found at this point. I wish it was formatted in a more concise fashion, the amount of information was a bit overwhelming so I found myself taking breaks so that I had time to process what I was trying to learn. However, I enjoyed reading it and feel that it was worth the time and effort! I think the author really understands the subject matter and has a much deeper insight into this topic than most.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars A barometer for predicting crazy weather.
Very helpful for those lost in the FOG, particularly those who are having trouble finding the words to define, describe, and understand the situations created by people around... Read more
Published 6 days ago by Amazon Customer
2.0 out of 5 stars Two Stars
Repeat information throughout book. Disappointed
Published 1 month ago by Debbie
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent
This ebook is full of important information that can help families and therapists manage and help a loved one/client with PD and. Read more
Published 3 months ago by Deborah J Beaver
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book!
So far this book is way informative! ! I amazing learning a lot! This is a must read for any adoptive family
Published 3 months ago by Amazon Customer
3.0 out of 5 stars SO, SO.
I think the website itself would be quite helpful, but the book was limited to mostly definitions, and to help you identify what you already suspect if your reading this book. Read more
Published 5 months ago by sharon c.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Resource Book
This is one of the few books to discuss HPD. The book is very clear and easy to read. Out of the FOG offers many resources to help understand personality disorders. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Marlene Bell
3.0 out of 5 stars Better read in book form
Very descriptive but difficult to read on a tablet as a lot of the different illness have similar characteristics instead of being able to flip pages in a book it's annoying to... Read more
Published 10 months ago by Luvs2read
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic
This book is a really good clear pragmatic book that has made an enormous difference to me and how I see my own part in responding to nrcisitic or abusive personalities. Read more
Published 12 months ago by D. R. Percival
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