Customer Reviews

Out of the Nightmare: Recovery from Depression and Suicidal Pain

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

"Out of the Nightmare" is primarily responsible for my recovery from twenty years of suicidal pain. I have read many books on suicide, but David Conroy is the ONLY author who obviously understands first-hand what it feels like to be suicidal. He states: "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain." That simple approach relieved me of the burden of guilt that most suicidal people feel about being suicidal, which exacerbates their pain. It helped me understand that by simply increasing my coping resources, and working on the individual sources of my pain, I could untangle the web of darkness that leads to suicidal feelings.

Dr. Conroy understands the thoughts and fears of suicidal people, and offers a clear, non-judgmental, morally neutral path to recovery.

Dr. Conroy also shows how many people - including therapists, counselors, and loved ones who intend to be helpful - often actually make a suicidal person's pain worse, and deter them from seeking help. He offers concrete suggestions from his vast experience for how to help a suicidal person, and empowers the suicidal with permission to resist the harm that is unwittingly inflicted on them.

I am alive today because of this book. Many therapists and counselors have "theories" about suicide that were formed in classrooms and laboratories. David Conroy's approach was formed in the real world, and it's a real-world, practical approach to true relief from the nightmare of suicidal pain.

We have a cultural mythology that oppresses the suicidal. The mythology adds to their pain, makes it harder for them to get help, and greatly contributes to suicide. Suicidal people suffer pain on more than one level: not only the emotional pain that makes them consider ending their lives, but pain that is unintentionally inflicted on them by well-meaning people who say terribly unhelpful things to them. "That's not enough to be suicidal about." "He only took 15 pills, he wasn't serious." "Anyone who tries to kill himself has got to be crazy." "I thought you were stronger than that." "You're just looking for attention." "Cheer up, it's a beautiful day." As if suicidal persons weren't feeling bad enough already, our thoughtless attitudes can cause them to feel guilt and shame, and keep them from getting help in time. Dr. Conroy blasts apart the myths of suicide, and looks at suicidal feelings from the inside, in a down to earth, non-judgmental way. This is a book that will save lives by washing away the stigma of suicide and opening the door to a real way out of the nightmare.

Conroy ruthlessly debunks suicide myths: that it is volitional, that it is morally wrong, that the suicidal are weak and selfish. He helps us understand the fears of the suicidal - and our own fears that drive the stigma of suicide.

The book is a pretty dense read. It requires patience because there are a lot of ideas packed into this book. If you are a suicidal person, read it in small bites; the ideas are so radical that they may send you reeling with relief. But you will know right away that the author understands, and doesn't blame you for what you are feeling. And you'll find out that there are people out there who really can help.

Dr. David Conroy's Book "Out of the Nightmare - Recovery from Suicidal Pain" was the definitive source of "reason" for me, at a time when nothing made sense. The idea that people caught in suicidal pain could break out of their own hell to see some light by removing social stigma and aversion one piece at a time was as remarkable as it was refreshing. Now that I have this information, I can see through the accusations that the suicidal are manipulative, vengeful, aggressive people choosing between life and death like deciding which shoes to wear. That pain, be it physical or psychological, can be relieved through careful selection of coping resources. I agree that the book appears to attack mainstream psychology, and could be initially distressing to someone in suicidal pain, but the reader will quickly discover that the attacks are not about them but about the fears that drive society to such hostile aversion for those in pain. Once the reader realizes the absurdity of society's notion that "every human being has sufficient will power to tolerate any level of pain for any length of time" then the book takes on a new perspective. The author systematically addresses each pain, laying it bare and exposed for the myth that it is, and offers clear direction on how to remove their power of hopelessness and despair. It also provides excellent information about how to get the most from your psychologist meetings, and how to know when it's time to find better help. Suicide, for the majority of humanity, is not a solution with motives and goals that are ruthlessly pursued. Depression, driven by psychological pain, is not the cognitive thought process as so many "experts" try to model. There are no successes or failures when it comes to self-harming events. If you really want to find out what is driving the madness, this book will guide you into the nightmare head on, but won't let you go until you've reached the shore of life and recovery. As much as you want to reduce pain for life and love again, I recommend Dr. Conroy's guide as the ultimate processing session to supplement your medication(s). Be sure to take a highlighter along - by the time you've finished the book, I guarantee that 40% will be colored in!

I found this a dense book and difficult to read (that may have been my depression, which makes it hard to think)
AND WORTH PERSISTING WITH.

Such a relief to find someone who understands and explains.

THANK YOU David - this is the first book i have read that makes sense. So many ideas in this book here are
some of the gems -

*You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

* He describes accurately a symptom that my doctors, and psychiatrist, have ignored.
AND explains this symptom:- exhaustion -as being from the struggles with pain and trying to live when living is too hard. Now i dont have to feel guilty for sleeping "too much" anymore :).

*he also explains why my drs are looking at me blankly when i ask for a rehabilitation team.... ingrained prejudice against the suicidal. (they cannot believe i might know what i need )

*treatment of physical pain and illness / disability is important.

* everyone who is depressed/suicidal is feeling that way for different reasons and will need different distress relief. (confirming my idea that i need a "rehab team" - and giving me ideas of how to start forming it)

*there really is prejudice and fear about the suicidal - which explains so much about why i have had so much trouble getting help that HELPS.

THANK YOU DAVID - i am not mad or bad or weak or even mentally ill, - i am in pain from many sources and i can relieve my pain bit by bit. (it is do able !!!)
NOW i have realistic, concrete hope. this is the greatest gift.

As a suicide survivor I found this book very helpful to me. It has vital information also for families, friends and professionals who treat those with depression and suicide pain.

A must read for all who want to gain a logical/truthful understanding of suicide and its victims.
Dr. Conroy is right on when he states that suicide is an involuntary (irrational) act which occurs when ones pain outweighs ones resources. Our society needs to understand that suicide is the final symptom of many mood and panic/anxiety disorders. Those of us suffering from these disorders must have strong resources in place, primarily a trusted relationship with a mental health professional.
This book is one of those amazing resources. Kudos to Dr. Conroy for getting it right. Let's get the message out that suicidal pain is what causes suicidal death, not the person who has died. Dr. Conroy has started us on the road to tearing down the stigma of suicide.
I highly recommend this book to all health care professionals, counselors, clergy, friends of sufferers...and to those of us who suffer. Thanks...thanks, Dr. Conroy!!

Out of the Nightmare: Recovery from Depression and Suicidal Pain

David Conroy's book was a breath of fresh air just whenI needed it. I stayed up late two nights in a row to get through the first chapters, up to the end of the chapters about "Groundwork for Recovery." It's been a long time since any book has captured my attention and been so engrossing.

Maybe I've heard some or even a lot of this information and discussion about depression and suicide before, but Conroy's reasoning and writing hit me like a ton of bricks. It brought out all my own pain to the surface and I was overwhelmed even more than before. I'm still reluctant to call any of the local resources for suicide, because I know about the stigma and embarrassment that others in my city have encountered, and that I have emcountered.

I still made a suicide attempt, but luckily did not complete it.

But the book has changed my own thinking for the better, and how I will deal with getting the help I deserve, in spite of the stigma and prejudice that I know exists. I hope someone else will amend the book for a new edition!

This is the most honest, logical well researched and comprehensive book I have found. It needs to be picked up by a major publisher and brought to the attention of every professional in the mental health care field. The only drawback I see is that it does not adequately address the issue of anti-depressant medication and the exacerbation of suicidality. But niether does any other book I've found. Perhaps the medical cartels are too strong and scary. This book far surpasses anything by Thomas Joiner.
Thank you David Conroy, for your dedication, and your heart.

Like the majority of other reviews here mine is also of high praise. I too am a suicide survivor, in fact this book helped me see something so obvious one might wonder how I missed it; that I am a third generation suicide attempter. His book helped me not only get past suicide thoughts and attempts but helped me realize that if inadequate coping mechanisms for pain are a significant factor in suicide then coming from a family that for three generations have suffered the same lack of skills it would be no surprise that myself and my siblings would suffer these symptoms. I reoriented my thinking and made a focus on developing strategies for coping with pain and then began to discover and start to understanding some of the sources of that pain which have kept me without suicidal thoughts or attempts for over a decade. It was one step at a time. Starting to relieve the immense pain created enough inner space that I could think more clearly about more effective stategies which then continued to lessen the pain and increase the inner space and so forth, creating new life-affirming habits. I can't thank David Conroy enough. His book was my blessing. I highly recommend it for both people in depression and those suffering the suggestions of suicide.