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Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction Paperback – September 1, 1994

ISBN-13: 978-1568380551 ISBN-10: 1568380550 Edition: 2nd

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 204 pages
  • Publisher: Hazelden; 2nd edition (September 1, 1994)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1568380550
  • ISBN-13: 978-1568380551
  • Product Dimensions: 0.8 x 3.2 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #341,350 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

79 of 79 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on February 3, 1999
Format: Paperback
Carnes has completely captured the mind of the sexual addict in minute detail. Disecting each and every action and thought explaining the reasons for and behind the behavior. For 22 years I lived and was married to a sexual addict and didn't know. I was in total denial. Finding out was the biggest shock and not knowing what to do. I was fortunate enough to be told about Patrick Carnes' book. I purchased the book online (so I wouldn't suffer the embarrassment of asking for it in a bookstore) and couldn't put it down. To be able to understand in a small way the "why" of my husbands behavior allows me to not feel so guilty or in some way responsible for his behavior. I never thought a book on this subject could be called fascinating--but it is just that. Each and every paragraph had something in it that hit home. He completely is able to analyze this behavior and explain the reasons without making the addict or co-addict feel less of a person. Although my husband and I are separated, I plan on passing this book on to him as he feels he can't beat this addiction. I am hoping this book will help him as it did me, to understand.
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87 of 88 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 29, 1999
Format: Paperback
When I needed to understand and learn more about sexual addiction, this book was there with quality information. It gave me the basics. I have since read three books on the subject of sexual addiction and Out of The Shadows is my favorite; the only one that helped me to better understand this addiction (which I previously did not know existed). The book is simple to read and is informative. I could not put it down as it kept my full attention - I read it in just a few hours. If you or your sex addict friend or family member is not big into religion and may have trouble with 12-Step programs, this book does not get "heavily" into that; rather it outlines the basics - what you need to know and understand. Thank you Dr. Carnes for this informative book.
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35 of 35 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on July 7, 1999
Format: Paperback
This pioneering effort by Patrick Carnes describes a four stage cycle of addiction which builds the addictive patterns. These steps are: 1) preoccupation, 2) ritualization, 3) compulsive sexual behavior, and 4) despair. Carnes defines these levels of addiction. The benefit to the reader is that it is an easy read for self-evaluation and/or for evaluating another's behavior. These stages or levels are conceptualized in terms of behavior, cultural standards, legal consequences, the victim's and the public's opinion of the addiction.
The recovery process is connected to the diminishment of negative core beliefs with the replacement of positive core beliefs. The impact on and the recovery of the co-addict are defined with the starting point being that of acceptance of Step I --- being powerless.
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39 of 40 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 29, 2000
Format: Paperback
I've been addicted to sex, masturbation, pornography, adultery, and so many other sexually compulsive acts while attempting to maintain a control and image in my life. This disease has no end; its levels of destruction are limitless. Dr. Carnes in this book completely lays out how this addiction originates, how it operates, and how it consumates. This is the most thorough book I have read on sexual addiction yet it falls severely short in assisting the addict with overcoming this problem. As far as recovery, you'll have to purchase another.
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27 of 28 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 9, 1997
Format: Paperback
Sexual addiction has a profound impact on the partners and families of the addict. The road to recovery is a long hard journey as Dr. Carnes points out. For the partner of an addict, this book helps you understand that what you've been living with is NOT about you. You come to realize that this is a disease just as alcoholism is a disease. You learn what it's about, how it can progress if not treated and how recovery is a possibility. You also learn about co-addiction and the role you play in this insidious addiction.

This book was a lifesaver for me and put me on the road to recovery from my own co-addiction.
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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful By Brett Anderson on March 19, 2001
Format: Paperback
I used this book to help me formulate my approach in dealing with Sexual addiction with my clients. I run a group for men with sexual addiction and this book has been invaluable to me in not only the planning but the implementation of the group. The book gave me a starting place for treatment with a wide variety of issues all tied up in the sexual addicts life.
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21 of 22 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on April 24, 2000
Format: Paperback
The author does a great job explaining, in plain English, what the addiction cycle is and how sexual addiction occurs. Having known NOTHING previously about addictions and especially sexual addiction, this book is an eye-opener. It is very comprehensive as to the different types and levels of sexual addiction. For any person who knows someone who has a sexual addiction, this book is a MUST for understanding exactly how serious this problem is. The only negative comment I would make is that I believe that there is not a co-addict for every addict--the author didn't say this but there is a lot of talk about the co-addict: in sexual addiction, there is usually (especially in the lower levels of addiction)few clues--IF ANY--to let a family member know that something wrong is going on. There is a lot of deceit that takes place in living two lives and so I believe many innocent people are just deceived about who the addict is until irrefutable evidence is found or the addict is caught red-handed. That small negative aside, the book is WONDERFUL and I definitely recommend it!
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